


Addiction

by Juniper11



Series: good girl gone 'mad' [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-11-12 06:50:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 53,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juniper11/pseuds/Juniper11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura has an addiction she doesn't want to get rid of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura has an addiction she doesn't want to get rid of.

My name is Haruno Sakura and life as I once knew it has changed. I used to dream of being with a boy who was too beautiful for words. I dreamed of marriage, forever, and all those other things young girls want.

Now, my dreams have changed. _I_ have changed…although not necessarily for the better.

I have an addiction.

I've seen every counselor that there is and no one seems to be able to help me. I've been given drugs of many forms and varieties to suppress the damnable craving that is inside me, but to no avail.

Therefore, now, I have reached a point where I have forgone the help. I have given in to my addiction. I am lost and I do not care.

I only want what I want when I want it.

My desire comes in three forms. Well, only three that I currently know of. I shudder to think what would happen if there were more.

I take what I want. I will let no one get in my way. I have ensured that I will have my addiction fulfilled be it morning, noon, or night. Food? Water? I need those to live but my addiction...I will surely perish if I do not have it too.

My name is Haruno Sakura and I am addicted to the Sharingan.

Morals be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Naruto nor do I make any profit off of this work.


	2. Give In To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She really didn't understand why Kakashi-sensei would deny himself something he so obviously wanted.

It had been a while since I had seen him, touched him since he was well versed in avoidance.  He didn’t like what we were to each other and yet it was easy to tell that he wanted me anyway.  So whenever the opportunity arose I overrode his conscious because that’s all he really wanted anyway.

He was walking down the street his nose stuck in his book.  At a glance I could tell, today, he was reading Tactics the novel he usually read when he was the most relaxed. 

This would work in my favor.

Sneaking up on the Copy Ninja was never an easy feat.  The man was sharper than any sword even if it appeared from time to time that the a few of the light bulbs were out.  Yet, when you spend an exorbitant amount of time with someone, you learned his or her weaknesses.  Once, a while back, Kakashi and I went on a mission that completely changed the dynamics of our teamwork.  It was a completely different story and the only relevance it has to the here and now is that because of it we became ‘reluctant’ lovers, although the reluctance was only on his part.  I enjoyed every minute in his bed.  

I didn’t even dare breathe.  Perhaps he noticed my presence but perhaps he didn't.   The important part was that he hadn’t disappeared and because of this I wrapped my arms around his waist and molded my body against his back.

His reaction was immediate and predictable.  We were in a public setting and although no one was around his body became stiff and unyielding. It was as if he didn't want my touch but I knew better than that. He hated when I snuck up on him with my public displays of affection. Although I wasn’t sure if that was the right term…more like open displays of lust.

At any moment, he would peel my arms from around his waist and step away from me.

Kakashi turned around and faced me doing exactly as I expected him to do. I lowered my eyes and put on my façade of a guileless young woman. It was innocence that had allowed me to get as close to him that I had.  I never planned to use him this way.  Things just happened and since he left…no, I refuse talk about that.  We were talking about the famed Copy Ninja.  The man who stared down at me with anxiety that couldn’t be hidden by the mask he so adored.

Once he viewed me as nothing more than a child but now he knew better.  I had changed. I was a woman and he knew it.

"Good morning Kakashi-sensei."  I keep my voice light and pleasant so as not to startle him.  Sometimes it was hard keeping my intentions out of my eyes and voice.  But for Kakashi…I viewed it as training.  If I could get him to let his guard down for a few seconds, I could have him.

"Sakura, I've told you not to--"

"Show any public displays of affection." I finished interlocking my hands behind back and pushing my chest forward watching as his eye momentarily drifted there. It was only a second but a second was all I needed. "I know but you look so cute right now and I couldn't resist."

Kakashi sighed and turned to walk away and I followed.  He hadn’t disappeared and that was all the encouragement I needed.

"Where are you headed?" I asked.

"Home." Several wicked ideas danced in my head at what we could do in his home.

"Mmm. Can I come with?"

He hestiated a moment. He was thinking about it reluctantly. This is what I've done to him. It wasn't something I was proud of yet I reveled in it.  I loved the fact that he wanted me, desired me.  Perhaps it spoke of self-esteem issues but I was beyond caring about things like that.

"You remember what happened last time."  Did I ever?  The man wasn’t just a genius on the battlefield.  Said genius extended to several other portions of his life.

"I do." I replied letting my tongue trace my bottom lip. "I was hoping for a repeat performance."

Kakashi dropped his book. That surprised me a bit. I was pleased that I had shaken him enough for him to drop his beloved Icha Icha. Suddenly I was glad that I had forgone my usual ninja attire for a white v neck t-shirt that clung to my body revealing hints of my pert breasts. I slowly bent down to retrieve his book knowing if he just looked ( Which he would, being my favorite pervert.) he would see the cleavage that I put on display.

With the book in my grasp, I stood up and placed it in his hand. "Come on Kakashi. Let's do a little demonstration of what you read in these books."

Kakashi stared at me stunned.  Normally, I wasn’t so bold with my words with him.  I’d tease, seduce, but never declare my intentions so openly.  I always made it seem like our each and every time together was an accident.  Something that just happened, but I was tired of such games.  He had remained hidden from me for far too long.

I took advantage of his momentary loss of composure, grabbed a hand full of his jacket and--

_Poof_

We were in my apartment.

"Sakura what we did before was wrong." Kakashi began inching away from me slowly. 

"But it felt so _good._ Wouldn't you agree?"

He started to nod his head but stopped himself. I smirked. He walked behind the couch putting some distance between the two of us. 

"Give in to me Kaka-sensei." I said climbing onto the couch to reach him.

"Sakura I just want to forget."

"Then by all means forget so I can make you remember all over again why some things should never be forgotten." I pressed my lips to his masked ones lightly then immediately pulled away. I pulled up his forehead protector so I could see his Sharingan then I claimed his lips once more and knew that all resistance was gone.

Mine. He was mine again.

The addiction was satisfied if only for a little while.


	3. Bargain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sakura makes a deal with the devil.

A mission gone wrong or oh so right.  I wasn’t sure which one it was.  Regardless it was an opportunity that I wasn’t willing to let pass.  "You two run. I will hold them off."  It wasn’t exactly a noble plea.  I did want them to escape but I had my own reasons for that.

Hinata looked at me distressed. "We won't leave you. You'll die if we leave you behind."

Maybe she was right but it was a chance I was willing to take.  Life, while precious to some, was something I felt needed to be _lived_ and if I had to be reckless to live then so be it.  Hinata, though, didn't need to know that. What she needed was to leave and that is what I was going to encourage her to do. 

"We'll all die if you stay. Go. We have a better chance at this if you two leave and get help." I looked at my two comrades, my closest friends willing them to obey me. 

Ino, no longer able to keep her silence, spoke up since she was one of the few who knew of my addiction.  "If we leave you, you'll give in to it."  I wished I hadn’t spoken to her of it.  It was a moment of weakness on my part that I was living to regret.

Hinata looked back and forth between the two of us unsure of what was going on. Leaving me with the enemy worried Ino and rightfully so. If she knew what I had planned she would never agree to leaving me alone.  We’d die together.

"We don't have time to debate this Ino. The sooner you leave the sooner you can return with help. I have the best chance of giving you two an escape route so I’m the one who should stay behind."

"Hinata can go. I'll stay with you."

"I need you to trust me Ino."

Ino sensed the chakra of our pursuers coming closer. They were powerful and more than a little frightening.  I didn’t envy her internal debate about whether to leave or stay.  It would probably be something she’d regret for the rest of her life but I knew she’d leave.  "Fine but hurry it up okay?" Ino glanced behind me worriedly but sprinted off. If I hadn't wanted her to leave I would have been upset that she left so easily.

The two disappeared running for home leaving me behind to face the enemy.

* * *

It wasn’t that I hadn’t been in the presence of fear inspiring ninja before—Kakashi and Tsunade-sama were a testament to that, but something about these members of the Akatsuki left me almost speechless.   "Hello boys." I said with a small smile on my lips. They ignored me, which stung a little. Was I so insignificant that they couldn't or wouldn’t acknowledge my presence? 




Uchiha Itachi looked at his partner and said, "Go after the other two. I'll take care of this one." 

"Sorry, but I can't let you do that." I shrugged apologetically and took my fighting stance.  My heart pounded furiously with exhilaration waiting for the fight to begin.  An almost crazed smile crossed my lips as I waited for them to make the first move.

Itachi chuckled. "Let me, little kunoichi?" Itachi nodded at Kisame who started to leave. I balled my hand into a fist and  hit the ground causing the ground to shake and open beneath them. Itachi jumped back narrowly missing being swallowed by the earth. Kisame wasn't so fortunate. I quickly performed a few hand signs making sure the earth closed over him so I could have a few moments alone with Itachi.  I just hoped I had time before the powerful nin unearthed himself.

"I don't want to fight you." I said immediately. I held up my hands showing I meant him no harm.

"Really?" He said in a bored tone that reminded me of his brother. The brother who had left me quite some time ago.  The brother who ignored my pleas to take me with him, to let me stay at his side…

"I'm willing to make you a bargain I'm sure you can't refuse."

"Why would I need to make a bargain with you, kunoichi?" He scoffed. "What could you have that I could possibly want?"

I wanted to go to him. I wanted to touch him but I knew that at this point an unwise movement could seal my fate. I didn't want to die. I wanted something else altogether.

"Let me and my friends go. I'll wipe their minds clean. They'll remember nothing of our encounter. You can continue on with whatever brought you this way. I will never repeat a word of our meeting. I swear this on my life."

He studied me like he was trying to figure me out. Almost reluctantly the question that I was waiting for slipped from between his lips. “What do you want in return?"

I smiled.

* * *

Someone once said that two heads are better than one. I say two Sharingan eyes are better than one. Whatever did I need Kakashi for when Itachi was _so_ much better?

After Itachi agreed to my little bargain, he allowed me to catch up with my friends. I quickly took away a few of their memories and implanted a few false ones. I didn’t even mentally ask for their forgiveness.  I was too far gone for that.

Afterwards Itachi took me to the first inn that we came across. It was old and cheap but it was clean and that was all that really mattered at the moment.

He rented a room and led me to it keeping a firm grip on my arm to ensure I didn't escape. As if I wanted to. All I desired stood right at my side. I wasn't foolish enough to leave him. He opened the door a dragged me in. It was a struggle to maintain my composure at his forceful nature. It was insanely arousing. It was almost as good as...

Itachi had me pinned against the wall before I could even blink. He raised my arms above my head pinning them with one of his own then he leaned in and placed a savage kiss upon my lips that I met him with equal passion and fervor. He slid his hand under my skirt and ran his hand, which for some odd reason felt like silk, up and down my thigh. I arched my back pressing my chest against his wanting more of him. I needed his skin bare and under my soft touch.

"More Uchiha-san. More." I begged. Itachi released my hands and then picked me up and tossed me on the bed. I briefly wondered if Kisame had escaped then dismissed the thought. If Itachi didn't care why the hell should I?

Itachi crawled over my body and stared down at me studying me as if trying to figure out what he wanted to do first. I was more than pleased with his first decision as he ripped my dress to shreds baring my body to the cool air. I tried to grab hold of him but he smacked my hands away.

"You are mine to do with as I please, not the other way around."

I whimpered softly as he raised my hands above my head and placed each hand on the headboard. "You will keep your hands here. You are not allowed to touch me unless I give you permission. If you do so you will be punished. If you move your hands you will be punished. Am I understood?" He stared down at me with his scarlet gaze and I felt myself growing hotter by the moment. I nodded my head in agreement. At that, he looked away from me and I felt bereft.

 

_Sharingan._

_  
_

He took my nipple in his mouth and began to suckle it. His tongue teased the bud until I cried out in desperation. I bucked against him wanting, needing, and aching.

He took me rough and hard and I loved every second of it. I wanted more. I could feel my addiction growing stronger. It was eating me alive and burning a hole through me. It was the focus of everything. It was consuming me. No, there was no me anymore. There was only the addiction.

There was only the Sharingan.

Hours later he stood up to dress and leave but I couldn't let him. Not yet, not when I was still riding high on a dose of him.  I sat up quickly, not caring that my body was fully on display for his eyes to see, not even understanding the word modesty.

"Wait!"  My hand extended out towards him and if I could pull him back to me with my will alone. 

He looked at me impassively and silently studied my disheveled state. I could see sheer masculine appreciation in his eyes for a brief second then he shut down just like a true Uchiha. 

 

No emotions.

 

No desires.

 

Only a drive to be the best.

 

"Uchiha-san, you're worth being bad for. If you ever want anything, anything at all contact me. You know my price."

He gave me an answering smirk and disappeared reminding me of the Uchiha that started my damnable craving.

My name is Haruno Sakura and I am addicted to the Sharingan. I will do inconceivable things in order to make the craving go away. I have seduced my teacher. I have allied myself with an enemy-nin and I would do much more. I would do anything to stop the hunger for a little while.

 

Just for a little while.

 

Just for a little while.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the actual story starts next chapter. These first three chapters are actually sort of the prologue.


	4. Departure & Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi spoke to her of betrayal. She'd show him what it really meant.

_Flashback:_

_"What are you doing down here so late at night? Just out for a stroll?"_

_His tone was bored and uninterested but that wasn’t unusual.  Foolishly I still clung to the hope that maybe I was wrong.    Maybe he wasn’t leaving me behind._

_"In order to leave the village you have to take this road."  There was a brief pause where I knew he realized that while our hearts were not in harmony our minds were.  I knew what he was planning to do.  They say knowledge is power.  I’m still not sure if I agree.  Would I have been better off it I hadn't known what he was going to do?  
_

_"Go home and sleep."  As always he was pushing me away, shutting me out.  Didn’t he know that after all I had been through, all I had done I needed him there to support me?  Maybe it was selfishness on my part to try to hold him but how could I not?  I loved him.  I loved him more than anything._

" _Why? Why won't you say anything to me? Why do you shut everyone out? Why don't you ever tell me anything?"  His eyes were cold as I asked each question.  It made my desperation greater—to a point where I believed madness would soon take me._

" _Why do I have to tell you?”  I couldn’t think of an answer.  There was no logical reason obtainable. Where were the words that I needed to convince him to stay?  All the knowledge in the world did nothing for me.  All my studying was worthless. “I'm telling you that you meddle too much. Stop bothering me all the time."_

_"You always act like you hate me Sasuke-kun. Do you remember? When we became genin. The day the three man teams were decided and we were alone in this very spot. You were angry at me weren't you?" I thought back to that time. Where he first said those words those words that will haunt me always._

" _I don't remember." I flinched.  Of course he didn’t remember.  I was the only one who clung to days that were much better than the current ones._

" _That's right. That was a long time ago but it started on that day. You and I, and Naruto and Kakashi-sensei...”  The past washed over me and I almost smiled at some of my memories.  “With revenge alone you won't be able to make anyone happy. I know about what happened to your clan...no one...neither you, nor me."_

_"I know that. I am different from you guys. I follow a different path from you guys...Despite the fact of the four of us being together my heart has chosen revenge. I live for that purpose. I can't be like you or Naruto."  Like me?  What was I like to him? What was it that he saw when he looked at me? Did he think that I couldn't walk a path of darkness?  Did he think I wouldn't be willing to walk it for him?  
_

_"Aren't you going to be lonely by yourself?”  I asked grasping at straws. “Sasuke-kun you told me that being alone is painful! I know that very well, so much that it hurts! I have family and friends but if you leave, for me, it's the same thing as being alone."_

_"From this point on new paths will start." He ignored my words so I ignored his.  We were both trying to get our points across but were too stubborn to listen to the other.  I didn’t want to hear his goodbyes and he didn’t want to hear my pleas._

_"I, I love you more than anything! If you are by my side I will make sure that you will not regret it. Every day will be more enjoyable and you will be happy! I would do anything for you! That's why I beg you please stay here. I will even help you with your revenge. There must be something that I can do. That's why...please stay here with me. If that's not possible, please take me with you." He was considering it.  He had to be considering it.  I could be useful to him in some way or form.  Surely he knew that?_

_"After all this you're still annoying." Pain spread throughout my heart but still I persevered._

_"Don't go! If you go I will scream out loud and.." He was gone then and suddenly I heard his voice from behind me._

_"Sakura...Arigato."_

_When I had awakened he was gone._

_  
_

_Three weeks later, I slept with Kakashi again after what felt like ages._

_\--_

I began to scream as the image replayed in my mind again.  It seemed like no matter what I did that day always came back to haunt me.  Would I never be able to let him go?   I pushed everything off my desk in a fit of rage.

"Sasuke!" I screamed feeling the old familiar ache creep into my heart. The room was empty. I was alone once more with the thoughts that continued to plague me.  The silence in the room only made my thoughts so much louder and so I had to drown them out. I got up and walked into my kitchen searching for the bottle of sake I kept in my cabinet for just such an occasion. Grabbing a glass, I poured myself a shot and drank it quickly. It burned as it slid down my throat but it quickly made my hands a little steadier. Would another glass hurt? I asked myself as I unthinkingly began to pour.

"Sakura."

I whirled around at the voice that startled me.  I forced the heart that had leapt into my throat back to its proper place as I looked into the lone eye of Hatake Kakashi.  Anger clouded my vision at his intrusion.  Who did he think he was to come into my home without an invitation? 

"What are you doing here?" I demanded.

"Being a friend." He said as he took the glass from my hand.  I held on to the glass tightly but he still easily removed it from my grasp. "Drinking is not going to bring him back."

"This has nothing to do with _him_." I said turning my back on him as I told the blatant lie.

Kakashi shoved his hands and his pockets and looked at me solemnly. "I suppose sleeping with me had nothing to do with him either."

"You're an excellent lover." I said ignoring the implication of his statement altogether.

"And yet you still sleep with Itachi." I couldn't hold back a gasp.  My heart began pounding rapidly. He knew? He knew all this time? Why hadn't he said anything to me? To the Hokage? "Did you think I didn't know? I can smell him on you Sakura." 

"What do you care? You never really wanted me to begin with." I said allowing bitterness to creep into my voice.

"I never said that and do you truly think Itachi does? He's a criminal Sakura and he will turn on you the first opportunity he gets. You're betraying your village. You're betraying yourself."

I sneered. How easy it was for him to say those words with no regard to how I actually felt. 

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I'd stop if I could? Damn it! No one can help me. I've tried. I've really tried but I can't stop. I don't want to anymore."

"I don't believe you. Sakura, I know how you feel about Sasuke--"

"Don't you dare mention his name to me!"

Kakashi continued relentlessly. "We all loved him in our different ways. We are all suffering. We can help each other if you'd just let us in. Let us in Sakura before you're too far gone to be helped."

I stared at his imploring face. I wanted to go to him and tell him I was fine. Everything would be okay but it was a lie. It wouldn't be alright. It would never be alright. Sasuke was gone and he was never coming back. I knew it. I knew it better than anyone. So, I did the only thing I knew how. I pushed him away.

"Leave Kakashi. I need to be alone."

"You've already been alone too much. We're your friends Sakura."

I didn't bother to reply. I waited patiently until he gave up and decided to leave.  It took him longer to leave than what I expected.

* * *

I walked down the same road that he did--the main road leading out of the village. A small bag was on my back. The only difference was between then and now was that there would be no one to attempt to stop me from leaving. I would be alone. Not that it mattered anyway. For years people had surrounded me but I was still alone. No one understood. I didn't even understand anymore.

It wasn't long before I reached the gates of Konoha. I took one last look around me and took a step outside the gates.

"Why?"

That voice. That question. I looked around me searching but finding no one. Had I finally embraced insanity? I covered my face trying to regain my composure but it seemed that it was an impossible endeavor.

"Why are you leaving?"

"Because there is no reason to stay." I answered the voice that I assumed to be in my mind.  I was wrong though. It wasn't a figment of my imagination. It was something else-- _someone else--_ altogether.

A figure stepped out of the shadows and approached me slowly. My eyes widened as recognition flashed through me. Tears started to fall down my cheeks just like all those years before.

" _You!"_ The ragged whisper escaped from between my lips.


	5. The Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She'd follow him anywhere...even to her own doom.

My eyes drank in his lean form hungrily well aware that they had been starved of his beauty. His dark hair had grown longer and I wondered what prompted the change. I wanted to thread my fingers in his silken tresses but the smarter part of me knew to be cautious.

"Why are you here?" I kept my voice calm and polite which was a vast difference as to what I was actually feeling. He kept coming forward until he was inches away from me. I could feel his breath on my face and I felt my heart quicken with excitement. It was hard not to close the small lingering space between the two of us. 

"I was looking for you." My heart skipped a beat. For me? Did that mean..? 

I could only begin to hope. But hope, I learned, was a bitch. "I heard a rumor about a pink haired kunoichi and my brother. I could only assume that was you."

My heart deflated. I should have known he wouldn't have come looking for me just to have me.

"What rumor is that?" I asked blandly trying to keep the sharp blade of my frustration out of my voice. 

"That the two of you are lovers." I wondered then if Itachi would be angered by that rumor. He would be sure to blame me. I wondered, with wicked delight, if he would punish me for it.

"Itachi is a dangerous missing nin. Why would I risk my life by becoming his lover?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that, and where he is of course." Sasuke stared hard at me trying to decipher the secrets that I held close to my heart.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't know where to find Itachi." It was true. I didn't. Being a criminal and all left him a bit cautious. He never let me know of his whereabouts. 

Although he seemed to be able to find me at any given moment....

Sasuke's hand snaked out and grabbed my throat lifting me off the ground. I didn't resist. A part of me found it somewhat exciting. I stared into Sasuke's eyes daring him to snap my throat and rid me of my misery.

"Where is Itachi?" I didn't reply. I couldn't really. Dangling in the air like that with a hand wrapped around your throat kind of impedes speech. At my lack of reply Sasuke retaliated by starting to squeeze my throat. I let him. I let him think that he could kill me. I let myself think it for a moment but I wasn't that far gone yet. My survival instincts kicked in. Focusing my chakra into my hand, I swiftly delivered a blow to the hand that was around my neck, then promptly hit the ground. Sasuke, the chivalrous man that he was, didn't bother to try to catch me. 

Love was so totally blind.

"What the..?" Sasuke activated his Sharingan and I practically purred. I tried to tell myself not to look into those eyes but the addiction was urging me to. I couldn't look but I couldn't not look. I would lose myself if I did and that was dangerous. If I didn't look I'd go insane and that was a danger in of itself. The proverbial rock and the hard place situation.

How fabulous.

Sasuke wasn't like Kakashi or Itachi. Kakashi and Itachi were both older and more settled in their mind and a lot easier to seduce. Sasuke, on the other hand, at this point in his life he was like a wounded animal that would strike out at anyone that tried to get near him. I supposed it was a good thing that I didn't mind being hurt.

"I'm not going to fight you Sasuke. You're not worth my time." My voice came out a little hoarse but I discreetly cleared my throat never once taking my eyes off my long lost Uchiha.

"All I want is for you to tell me where Itachi is."

"I don't know where Itachi is."

"I remember once you offering to help me get my revenge. Is your love so fickle Sakura that you would turn to my brother so easily?" Startled I looked into his eyes and could feel the desire creep over me. I found myself slightly annoyed that he would use my love for him against me. "Tell me, Sakura, how long did you wait after I left before you started screwing my murderous brother?"

I tilted my head to the side. "What does it matter to you Sasuke? If I tell you I waited a full twenty four hours will that hurt your feelings?" I paused briefly gauging his reaction and saw him moving in the direction that I wanted him to. "It shouldn't. You left remember? I'm free to live my life as I choose and if I want to screw your dear brother senseless, then by golly I will."

Rage leapt into his eyes an I marveled at it. The self control and focus that he was notorious for seemed to be slipping. Did I do that all by myself? Why, yes. Yes I did. I mentally patted myself on the back.

I smiled and moved closer to him and held out my hand. "Give me your hand Sasuke." He moved away from me as if I would bite. He was right. I would. Truly though that wasn't my intention.

Yet.

Later was a completely different story.

"I know I broke the bones in your arm Sasuke. Let me heal you."

"Why would you heal me? I came here to get information, then kill you." That was Sasuke. Honest to a fault and crueler than De Vil.

"Mmm. You'll have a better opportunity to achieve your goal if you let me heal you." I said nonchalant. I didn't know what it was that made him trust me in those moments. I was just happy that he did. Sasuke hesitantly held out his arm to me and I proceeded to heal his arm. I behaved myself and didn't marvel at the texture of his skin nor wonder at the taste of it. I healed him not because I was a medic, but because he was Sasuke an I'd do anything for him. It wasn't long before I released him. I reluctantly took a small step back as he studied me quietly as if trying to figure me out. Good luck. I silently wished him. Even I couldn't figure me out.

"You were going to go to him. Weren't you Sakura?" He was like a dog with a bone. Did he really think I would just hand Itachi over to him on a silver platter? I needed my fix and unless he was willing to step up to the plate then mum was the word. Although I _really_ didn't know where Itachi was.

"Sasuke for the last time. I do not know where Uchiha Itachi is."

Sasuke turned his back on me and I had a moment to silently marvel at the beauty that was him. It was sort of sad that he was prettier than I was...although I had better hair so I could live with that. "I believe you. Be glad because I would truly kill you if I thought you were lying." He started to walk away just like before but this time I didn't stop him.

I couldn't do it again. I couldn't pour out my heart to him only to have him leave once more. I didn't think my mind would survive it a second time. So I let him walk away and left my desires unfulfilled.

He paused mid stride and looked over his shoulder at me when I said nothing. "Aren't you going to try to stop me?"

A brow arched on my face. He wanted me to? "Wouldn't it be a waste of breath?" He smirked at my answer. For the first time I felt as if he saw something in me. Something worth while. My heart fluttered in that way that only he could manage to make it.

"You leaving this village or what?" He asked.

"Is that an invitation?" I asked somewhat suspicious. He had, after all, recently threatened to kill me. 

"It could be."

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A part of me thought that he was only invited me in order to infuriate Itachi. But what did I care? I had my Sasuke. It didn't matter how I obtained him. The addiction would die now that I had the cause and cure. Wouldn't it?

We raced side by side leaving Konoha. Shouldn't I regret leaving it all behind? At that moment I couldn't make myself. The Village Hidden in the Leaves had nothing left to offer me. It was time we parted ways. It wasn't until Sasuke stopped that I began to realize that maybe my idea to run off with Sasuke wasn't such a bright one.

I still didn't give a damn.

"Why are we stopping?" It was then that I sensed the chakra. I tensed preparing myself for a battle.

"Come on out Karin." Sasuke called. Karin? Who was that?

The red head walked up to Sasuke and wrapped her arms around his waist. "What do we have here?" She turned her slightly interested gaze towards me. I waited for Sasuke to pull himself away from her but he did not.

Something foreign began to eat at my stomach and I didn't know what it was.

"This Karin, is our bait."

Karin laughed merrily.


	6. Itachi's Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura's lovers find out that she has disappeared--and someone isn't too happy about that.

As he walked through her apartment he knew even though everything was still in it, it was empty. It was an emptiness that echoed deep inside him and for the first time in his Kakashi’s life he felt helpless.

  
He stood in her bedroom and looked around. Everything looked untouched. It felt cold and it didn't take him long to realize that she was gone-as in gone for good. Kakashi briefly closed his eyes and thought 'Not again'. A pain shot through his heart. This was his fault. He shouldn't have pushed her maybe she wouldn't have left to join Itachi if he had just kept quiet. She would have been content to stay at his side.

  
"Kunoichi." Kakashi turned his head at the sound of the voice. The chakra presence was unmistakable. He quickly lifted his forehead protector just in case his Sharingan became necessary. Although, it had helped very little last time he had crossed paths with this man…

  
Kakashi quickly revealed himself to the intruder. "What have you done with her Itachi?" Kakashi said, preparing himself for battle. His eyes became colder than a winter day as he looked at the man who was slowly but surely leading Sakura to her own destruction.

  
"Come now Copy Ninja, you should know by now what happens when you try to fight me."

  
His arrogance made Kakashi angry. He knew, but that was not going to stop him from ascertaining the whereabouts of Sakura.  
"What have you done with Sakura?"

  
"The kunoichi?” He asked as if he didn’t know her name to begin with, “I was actually here to see her."  
His attitude was nonchalant and it was something that Kakashi didn’t understand. Sakura was missing, after all. He didn't seem to be lying. Why would he? Lying would not benefit him in anyway. Lying wouldn’t make Sakura suddenly appear. It didn't make sense. "Then where is she?" He asked himself puzzling over the mystery that was Sakura.

  
"How would I know? Am I her keeper?"

  
"This isn't like her." Kakashi thought aloud ignoring the comment. "She's sick. If she's not with you or me then something bad must have happened. She would never go alone without her--"

  
"Without?" Kakashi hesitated for a brief moment wondering whether or not he should tell the missing nin about Sakura’s affliction.

  
"Sakura has a certain affinity for--" He broke off having seconds thoughts about revealing such person information about Sakura to a man who would only use it against her.

  
"The Sharingan." Itachi said finishing his statement. Kakashi nodded since it seemed he already knew. It was then that it dawned on him. He knew Sakura well enough to know that she would not go without having someone with the Sharingan with her, and if Itachi was here with him then....

  
"Sasuke has her. He's using her to get to you."

  
Itachi smirked at the conclusion that Kakashi had drawn knowing it to be true. "Foolish little brother."

  
Itachi walked toward the window intent on leaving.

  
"Wait! Don't you care that he could possibly kill your lover to get to you?"

  
Itachi eyes went blank. "No." Kakashi watched him leave wondering if he should believe the Uchiha's cold reply.

  
                                                                                        ________________________________________

  
So at this point I figured I had two options. One, I could smash Karin's face in for daring to touch my Sasuke, or two I could set about making myself comfortable for the night. I chose the latter. There would be plenty of time to kill this Karin. Later, I was glad that I didn't go with the former. After I set about ignoring the duo, it seemed that Sasuke set about ignoring Karin. Perhaps he had been trying to make me jealous. I clung to that notion like it was a lifeline even if I was pissed that it had worked.  
Of course, it was obvious that Karin wanted Sasuke. She was rather blatant in her displays of affection. If anyone knew that this was the wrong way to get to Sasuke's heart (or pants whichever ) it was me.

  
"So you're Itachi's little whore." She stated since Sasuke was ignoring her advances and felt the need to get on someone’s last nerves. It seemed she needed to make herself feel important somehow. It was laughable, really, because in the grand scheme of things she was utterly worthless.

  
I raised my eyes to meet Karin's. Strangely, I wasn't offended by her comment, maybe because I knew Itachi could have me anyway he wanted me and if that made me his whore well then…

  
Hell yeah!

  
"Tell me is he any good?"

  
Good? Good couldn't begin to describe Uchiha Itachi. Everyone knew that Itachi is a superb ninja. He also happened to be a high quality lover. He was good at everything.  
"I wouldn't know." As if I would reveal to her the status of my relationship with the other Uchiha.

  
Karin's eyes narrowed. She raised a hand to strike me. She had a lot of nerve. I had to give her that. A small smile played on my face as I watched Sasuke appear from nowhere to grab her hand.

  
"If you value your life, you will keep your hands to yourself." His voice pierced the air like knives over her skin. Not mine. I enjoyed the deadliness of his tone. It was exciting.  
Karin continued to stare at me, hatred overflowing in her features. I wasn't worried. If push came to shove I'd kick her ass and if I didn't, I now knew Sasuke would. I had seen him try to kill people for hurting me. Apparently his protective issues hadn't died a horrible death yet.

  
She said nothing to Sasuke’s words only walked away like a good little airhead. It didn’t stop her from tossing a nasty look my way to which I smiled serenely at.  
Sasuke sat down at my side and the warmth of his body filled me. If only I could get other parts of his body to fill me then life would be oh-so-sweet.  
"You're different."

  
"Isn't that the midget calling the munchkin short?" I retorted.

  
"Tell me Sakura. Why Itachi?" He completely dismissed my reply but honestly I didn’t expect more. Instead, I focused on the fact that he was harping. Was he really just going to assume that I was sleeping with his brother? I didn’t even get the benefit of the doubt? Never mind that was technically guilty I was still hurt that he thought me capable of that type of betrayal. Was it twisted thinking on my part?  
Yes.

  
Yes it was.

  
"Sasuke, if I were in the presence of mind to sleep with a S-class criminal then it would only be because he reminded me of you." I said answering his question yet not.  
He looked up at that. "Why do you continue to deny you are Itachi's lover?"

  
"Why do you continue on your quest to kill him?"

  
"You know he slaughtered my family." Sasuke said angrily.

  
"I know a lot of things now Sasuke. I know that people will go to desperate measures in order to get what they want. I know that they will betray themselves, their friends, and their village for the sake of a goal." I wasn't only talking about him. I was talking about myself as well but he didn't realize that.  
"Don't presume to know me Sakura. You know nothing of who I am."

  
"I could say the same to you, Sasuke."

  
"You're right. The Sakura I thought I knew would never screw my brother."

  
I didn't even flinch at the verbal jab he sent my way; instead I smiled and watched as his face contorted with rage. He raised his hand and smacked my face and I flew backwards. The blow stung but Itachi had hit me harder in the past and I liked it. I sat up and just looked at him but he wouldn't meet my eyes. Was he ashamed? No, not this Sasuke. Not the man who killed Orochimaru. Not the man who was hell bent of killing his brother and anyone who stood in his way. I was just one more person preventing him from reaching his goals. Wasn't I?

  
Then why wouldn't he look me in the eye? I wiped the blood that had trickled from my mouth off with the back of my hand.  
"Who is that woman to you?" I asked referring to the ugly hag that attempted to strike me.

  
He looked at me then with a smirk on his face. You know the one he always gives when he thinks he has the upper hand. "Why? Jealous?"

  
"If Itachi is really my lover do you really think I'd care if she had you? He is the better brother in more ways than one after all…"

  
Okay, so maybe I went a little bit too far but my addiction (or maybe it was jealousy) was eating at me. It told me to push him. Push him until he broke and claimed me for his own or killed me.

  
He took a slow, deadly step towards me. My heart quickened in anticipation. He lifted my chin and held it firmly between his fingers.

  
"We will see who is the better brother when he is dead."

  
I mentally began to swear like a sailor. Curse Sasuke and his single mindedness. He wouldn't know passion if it bit him on the behind.

  
Hard.

  
In a death grip.

  
The Jerk.  
I pulled away from him irritated that even though he had become harsher he was still the same in the worst way. "I need to take care of my womanly needs." I said standing up.

  
"I'll get Karin. She can come with you."

  
"Yeah and she can attempt to beat me when you're not around."

  
Sasuke frowned. "Are you suggesting that I come with you?"

  
Okay so there's not many things that can make me blush given all the things I've done lately but that did. "No. I'm not saying that all. I came with you willingly Sasuke. I'm not going to leave willingly."

  
"You're saying I should trust you."  
"I am, but even if you don't how far could I possibly get with you being the excellent shinobi that you are?"

  
I watched as his head inflated. Men. Especially this one. I suddenly wanted a pin to pop his overly inflated ego

.  
"Go, but be quick about it." I guessed I should be grateful. I was getting the opportunity to use the potty alone.  
________________________________________  
I relieved myself and started straightening my clothes. It was then that he appeared in front of me.

  
My mouth dropped open as I stared at the vision of beauty before me.

  
"What are you doing here?" I asked in a rabid whisper.

  
"Trying to ascertain if you are a captive here or if you are here by choice." He replied.


	7. Too Much of a Good Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura learns that there is a price to pay for everything.

"You should leave before he realizes you are here." I said looking around quickly knowing that at any second Sasuke was going to pop out of nowhere and discover me with his brother. The last thing I wanted was for Sasuke to discover that he was correct in his assumptions.

  
"Do you think I'm worried about my little brother?" I didn't think he was worried, but that didn't mean I wasn't worried about him. He waited silently for the answer to a question I had thought was rhetorical but apparently I was wrong.

  
"No." I said slowly noting the approval in his eyes and almost becoming entranced by it.

  
"Good.” He replied his voice low and husky which caused my mind to move on to dangerous thoughts. “Now are you a captive, or are you here by choice?"  
"This is…” My voice trailed off as he stepped closer to me.

  
“Kunoichi.” He said warningly and I blinked coming back to reality.

  
“This is mostly my choice."

  
"Mmm." His voice held a bit of contempt and disbelief. It angered me, his assumption that I had no control over my life and decisions. Or maybe I was just reading too much into things.  
"I can leave whenever I want!" Although there was a part of me that wasn't quite sure about that. He continued to stare at me blankly. I hated when he did that. It made me think he didn't believe me or he just didn't care.

  
"Alright kunoichi just realize that I am not done with you yet. You are quite…useful." I shivered.

  
"Itachi, I think it would be best if we stopped this now." I don't know if I truly meant those words but they seemed like the right thing to say.  
"Why? Because you foolishly think my brother can meet your needs?"

  
Well, put that way it did seem kind of foolish. I had seen firsthand, on more than one occasion, the lack of desire that Sasuke held for me. If I turned Itachi away now what would I do? Who would satisfy me? Even though terror was bubbling up into my throat I forced the words out anyway.

  
"I'm no use to you now. I am no longer in Konoha. I really don't think I'll be going back anytime soon."

  
"You still have your uses." His eyes roamed over my body. I really should have been irritated, but heat soared through my body and he knew it. He closed the final distance between us. "I think I want to show you your use now." He said as he leaned over and whispered in my ear. My breathing became ragged and my blood began to rush faster through my veins.

  
"No, I can't. If he finds us…" My words trailed off as he began to nibble on my ear. His teeth pulled at my ear causing shockwaves of pleasure and pain to ripple through my body.  
His hands grabbed a hold of the shorts under my dress and lowered them. He grunted realizing that the undergarments I used to wear were nowhere to be found. They were cumbersome so I no longer bothered with them. Especially since not wearing them made moments like this so much more delicious.

  
Itachi then took two fingers from each hand and put them on my rear, lifting me into the air. I shivered at the sheer strength in just his fingers. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked to a nearby tree and pressed my back against it allowing it to support me rather than his hands. The bark of the tree bit into my back but that was a dull ache compared to the one in my nether regions.  
Itachi's hands, now free, roamed over my covered breasts. I arched my back to receive more of his touch, wishing he had taken off my dress as well. It was tease to be so bare and yet not be bare at all.  
"Are you saying no to me kunoichi?" He whispered softly, his lips slightly caressing my ear causing me to whimper.

  
I was at a loss for words when I felt him pressed between my thighs. He pulled his head back slightly and let those Sharingan eyes look into mine. He began to slowly grind his hips into me. A moan escaped from between my lips as the heated friction began to build pleasure within me. He soon began trailing kisses down my throat knowing what a weakness it was for me.  
"Are you saying no to me kunoichi?" He repeated, demanding an answer, teasing me unmercifully.

  
 _"Never!_ " The ragged cry escaped from my lips.

  
"Good." Then his lips claimed mine in an aim for domination, and I quickly submitted. I ran my fingers through his hair pulling out that infernal tie that held it captive. It flowed around him and I longed to see his long dark hair cascade around his face. He was so beautiful, just like his brother.

  
He didn't release my lips when he entered me, but rather he brought his finger to my pleasure pearl and began caress it slowly at first but picking up speed as he pumped his body into mine.  
Yes, he lay siege of my body and claimed me right there against the tree trunk.

  
I came quickly, my muscles contracting around him, my eyes rolling in sheer bliss. It was rough, it was fast, but most importantly it was satisfying. He laid his head on my shoulder breathing heavily, but I continued to run my fingers through his hair. My craving had died and I was left with a semblance of peace.

  
He lowered me to the ground and held me close for a moment. I was appreciative because I couldn't quite stand on my own yet. When I could manage the task he bent down put on the clothes that he had hastily removed from me earlier.

  
"Now for my payment." I looked at him exasperated.

  
"I have nothing to give you."

  
"You do."

  
"What?" I asked curiously only to finally understand that saying about curiosity and the cat.

  
"I want Sasuke."

  
I stared at him confounded until I heard someone call my name irritated.

  
"Sakura!" Sasuke called out furiously.

  
"I will contact you later about what I want you to do."

  
Itachi stepped away from me and left quickly.

  
I stumbled through the woods toward Sasuke's voice dazed. I couldn't reach him though, not before I dropped to my knees and emptied my stomach.  
What had I done? Had my foolish actions just given Sasuke to his brother on a silver platter?

  
In the end Sasuke found me dry heaving in the forest. He waited wordlessly until I finished then swept me up in his arms and carried me back to camp. I didn't say a word although I knew…

  
I had probably just OD'd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OD'd =overdosed


	8. Touche'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sakura and Karin take turns verbally stabbing each other.

He looked down at me dispassionately as I wiped my face with the back of my hand. Unsanitary? Yes, but necessary nonetheless.

"What's wrong with you?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine. It was probably something I ate before I left." I rolled away from him hiding the tears in my eyes. "Don't worry. I won't hold up your plans. I'll be ready to leave when you are."

"Hn." He replied and walked away.

When he left me alone I allowed the tears to pour down my cheeks. I lay there and wallowed in regret. I loved Sasuke. I truly did and yet I knew that I was about to lead him to his doom. There was no way out of the corner I had backed myself into. Itachi was going to demand payment and I knew myself well enough to know I was going to give it to him. My usefulness is what kept Itachi coming to me. I had left Konoha leaving Kakashi beyond my reach and Sasuke--I had no idea how to seduce Sasuke. So my only means of getting my hit lay with Itachi.

I realized my whole thinking process was just selfish. Me. That was who I was thinking about. What _I_ wanted. What _I_ needed. Wasn't love supposed to put the one you cared about first? But what good would that do me? Would it make Sasuke love me in the end? Probably not. I'd still be the foolish girl he left behind in Konoha.

So I fell asleep with my bitter thoughts of me being self-absorbed.

I awakened a short time later to feel the heat of a warm body next to mine. I couldn't say I was surprised to find Sasuke next to me. He truly meant to keep me in order to lure Itachi out of hiding so he wasn’t going to let me out of his sight.

"Sasuke, are you awake?"

"Hn." Came the reply. Completely disregarding his normal lack of communication I said,

"If I wanted to leave…would you let me?"

"No." Came his curt reply. I sighed. I guess that answered the question as to whether or not I was a prisoner.

"Sasuke, I once told you that revenge wasn't going to make you happy. Are you still set on this course? Are you still unmovable on this?"

"Yes."

"I can accept that." And I could on a certain level. Sasuke was Sasuke and well, I just loved him. Nothing would change that. "If none of this had ever happened though, do you think you could have loved me?"

"I do not deal in the what ifs Sakura. What could have happened has happened. I don't look back."

I chuckled darkly. He didn't realize that by focusing on his revenge he was looking back every day of his life. "Sasuke, you are the same as always." He didn't reply nor did I expect him to. "So love is out of the question. Is sex?" His body went rigid at my side. I held back my amusement at his maidenly display.  "Because if I can't have love, lust will satisfy me just fine." He didn't relax and that was fine, too. I wanted him to seriously consider what I was saying. I was serious because what he decided would determine what I did about his brother.

* * *

Sunrise came all too soon as Sasuke shook me awake. I lazily opened my eyes, and gave him a small smile.

"Let's go." He said avoiding my gaze.

Avoiding my gaze.

Interesting.

I was starting to develop a little theory that I wanted to put to the test. I stood up and began eliminating the signs of our campsite. I glanced over to see Sasuke talking to Karin. A vacant smile graced her lips.

I really didn't like that chick.

I mean really, how could Sasuke stand to be near her? Before I realized what I was doing I was approaching them. I eased my way between the two of them facing Sasuke cutting off whatever was being said.

Rude?

Yes.

Did I care?

Hell no.

"Sasuke." I said. "I'm ready…whenever you are." I let my tongue travel over my bottom lip moistening it. It was then that I realized that for the first time Sasuke was seeing me. Not the annoying pink haired kunoichi who had loved him forever.

He actually was seeing that I was person. Realization dawned in his eyes. Maybe even a bit of desire. I was elated because now, maybe now, I could get a small portion of him. Even if it was just his body.  Yes, I would be happy with a roll in the sheets.

Well, maybe two or three rolls in the sheets.

Okay, four and I was good.

For a while.

The yank on my hair caused me to turn. I mean, really, who yanks hair? Isn't that for children? Now if she had pimp slapped me that would have been more acceptable, but hair yanking? Che. She was an idiot.

"I was talking to Sasuke." Karin said indignantly.

"Well apparently it wasn't _that_ important, or Sasuke would have remarked upon it."

I looked at Karin. Karin looked at Sasuke who turned and walked away.

Typical Uchiha.

But I still could help but think that I had scored another point. The first being Sasuke stopped her from hitting me.

I smirked at Karin who in turn replied,

"How was your little romp with Itachi?"

Okay, so score one for Karin.

Touché.


	9. Of Betrayals and Addictions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi can't quite understand or explain his involvement with Sakura.

 

"What are you talking about?" I asked cautiously.  It wouldn’t do to give myself away to someone who was so obviously lacking in intelligence.

"Don't be coy. I saw you two against the tree. By the way his hair is glorious when he lets it down isn't it, or should I say when _you_ let his hair down?"

"Mmm." I shrugged my shoulders. "Even if you did see me with someone in the forest what business is it of yours? Why assume its Itachi?"

"Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes. I'm smarter than I look." I wasn't even going to _touch_ that one. "The red and black cloak was a dead giveaway."

"What do you want?" I asked dropping the illusion of innocence.

"You know what I want."

I shrugged. "Sorry. You're going to have to spell it out for me."

" _Stay away from Sasuke."_ She hissed and I had to admit to myself that I should have seen that one coming.  She was a true fangirl…but I was the president of the fan club. "Or I will tell him about your little betrayal."

"I have no loyalty to Sasuke. It was in no way, shape, or form a betrayal."

"I'm not so sure he would see it that way."

I paused, thinking on her words. Did she see Sasuke more clearly than I did? Did she actually _know_ him? I didn't like that all. He had always held me at a distance. Never allowing me to get close to his heart. Had he let her see behind the façade he wore?

I moved quickly towards Karin grabbing a hand full of her hair, and began to pull tighter and tighter on it.

"Let me make something clear to you Karin."

I took my free hand and broke both of her hands. My eyes dared her to make a sound.  Her silence proved that she _was_ smarter than she looked.  Who knew?

 Her legs went out from beneath her so I held her up by her hair.  "I play by my own rules. Not yours, not Sasuke's. Do not think you can manipulate me into doing what you wish. I can break you a million times then heal you, and Sasuke would never know the difference. You see, I _am_ Itachi's lover and unfortunately for you some of his bad habits have rubbed off of me. Like, let's see…a lack of remorse. So remember that the next time you seek to control _me._ " Fear crept into her eyes and I was glad. Maybe fear would be the beginning of wisdom on her part.

I proceeded to squeeze her hands trying to elicit a sound from her, but surprisingly she remained quiet with her agony written all over her face. I stood over her briefly looking at her disgusted.

I wanted to prolong her suffering, but I knew that I needed to heal her before Sasuke returned. It just wouldn't do for him to see what I could really be like.

_Wouldn't do at all._

I proceeded to heal her and when she was all better I smiled at her. It wasn't a cold smile that didn't reach my eyes. It actually did, because I liked what I did to her and I'd do it again if I had to.

* * *

He knew he should have went and retrieved her on his own.  It wouldn’t have been hard to seduce her into coming back…not that it was something he really wanted to do.  He had no real desire to be with Sakura physically.

It was sad that he couldn’t believe his own lies. 

"Why did you take so long to bring this to my attention Kakashi?"

"I didn't know it had gotten this bad. I knew she was sick but.."

"And from what I can tell you took advantage of her illness."

Kakashi didn't argue. He didn't dare anger the woman in front of him--even if he did have a different view of the story.

"An addiction to the Sharingan. Did you know that such a thing could happen?"

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. "I knew it was possible, but not in the sense that it seems to be affecting Sakura."

"Explain." Tsunade demanded.

"I have used the Sharingan to give women pleasure before, but I have never done this with Sakura. I have always feared that it would make her…worse. Some women after that first time I use it wanted me to do it all time, it becomes a sickness. I only have guesses as to where Sakura’s illness origninated.”

"So what do you think made her this way?"

Kakashi sighed momentarily pondering the question.

"I think that this has a lot to do with Sasuke. She started changing after he left. It was slow at first, but the deterioration of her self is progressing at a much rapid rate now. If you equate the Sharingan to being a drug that she's already addicted to and if she ups her dosage then--"

"What do you mean ups her dosage?" Tsunade growled.

Kakashi hesitated a brief second before answering, "I am not the only person who possesses the Sharingan."

Tsunade was silent for a moment letting the implication of Kakashi's words wash over her. The Hokage slightly shook her head disbelieving.

"She wouldn't."

"People with addictions have no loyalties. Not while the drug controls them."

Something akin to panic began to shine in the normally collected woman's eyes.

"Where is she? We have to find her. Now!"

"My guess is she's with Sasuke."

"Sasuke would never allow her to tag along with him."

"He would if he thought Sakura could lead him to his brother." Tsunade thought about the young Uchiha, and his single minded determination to destroy his brother.  She wished that she hadn’t let Naruto influence her and officially declared the Uchiha a missing-nin and had the brat killed on sight.

"Go get Naruto and go after her."

"Is that wise? If she is addicted to the Sharingan won't I make things worse?"

"If she is addicted to the Sharingan you are the only way to bring her home and maybe Naruto can appeal to her old self and help you."

Kakashi nodded and headed to the door.

"Kakashi," The Copy Ninja paused. "There will be consequences for you taking advantage of her."

"Perhaps that's as it should be or perhaps you should consider that maybe I was the one taken advantage of." Kakashi headed towards the door thinking to himself that maybe just maybe he had an addiction of his own.

 


	10. Cold & Vanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Sakura to pay the price.

Sasuke entered the clearing and looked at the two of us.  I had already healed Karin and turned my full attention to Sasuke but I could still feel the heat of her heavy glare upon me.

"We need to move. Juugo and Suigetsu are waiting." I briefly pondered over who the two were but dismissed it as unimportant at the time. I nodded and joined Sasuke as we left our campsite. Karin followed behind quietly. This was good because I was not in the mood to deal with her anymore.

He hadn't looked at me since we started our journey, but I could barely keep my eyes off of him. It still amazed me how he could completely ignore me.  It made me want to be childish and do things to get his attention but I had put on my big girl panties that morning.  It would be silly to take them off.

We pressed forward covering much distance bringing us further and further away from Konoha.

After a while we entered a small village. The people gave us welcoming smiles as we came through. I returned their smiles and noticed Sasuke did not. He kept a stoic look on his face and headed straight for the nearest inn and then proceeded to procure rooms for us. 

"Give me two rooms." Sasuke told the innkeeper. I didn't have time to think about that because the exchange was made rather quickly and Sasuke ushered us toward the rooms. He grabbed a key and handed it to Karin.

"You two can--" I knew he was going to say share a room so I quickly jumped in.

"She'll kill me while I sleep." I looked at him with my big green eyes that I was sure held an innocence that had died a cruel death long ago. It was probably more the other way around though. I'd probably kill Karin and if the look on her face was any indication she believed that too.

"Sasuke, I would not. You can trust me." Karin protested. I wasn't exactly sure why she was protesting the fact that I had no desire to share a room with her. If I really thought about it, though, she probably just didn't want me to share a room with Sasuke.

I looked at Sasuke with those innocent eyes. He glanced at Karin then back at me.  His decision only served to show me once more how brilliant he was.

"Come with me Sakura." He said and began opening the door to his room. I turned and looked at Karin. I raised two fingers towards my eyes and pointed them back at her indicating I was watching her.

"Sasuke!" Karin whined, but he ignored her.  Maybe that was because he was used to her being an annoying twit.

I entered the bedroom and was pleasantly surprised to find...

Gasp! One bed.

"Will your friends be here soon?" I inquired careful not to show my inner glee.

"I have no friends."

"Fine then. Your teammates then?"

"They are already here."

"Will you go speak with them?" He didn't reply which didn't surprise me. He had already done more talking to me than he normally would have. "I'm going to get ready for bed." I grabbed my bag with my belongings and walked into the bathroom. I quickly showered, freshened my breath, and washed my face. I pulled a T-shirt over my head that fell to my mid-thigh and walked out the bathroom.

He lay on the bed when I exited like a present waiting to be unwrapped.

Yum.

He took his turn in the bathroom. In the meantime I made myself comfortable in the bed. I was stretching as he exited the bathroom. I hadn't noticed him reenter the room.  Which was surprising in and of itself since I noticed everything about that man.

"You may sleep on the floor." He said imperiously.

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear you." Because I know that he didn't say what I think he did.

"You may sleep on the floor." He repeated. I narrowed my eyes at him. Okay, maybe he did.

"No thank you. I wouldn't want to put you out."

He stood there--probably waiting for me to obey him. The man seriously had a stick lodged up his behind and no amount of pulling was going to get it out. Why did I love him again?

I sighed. "There is no reason for either of us to sleep on the floor Sasuke. The bed is big enough for both of us. Besides you slept beside me last night and there was no problem then."

I made a valiant effort to keep the seductive lilt out of my voice. Sheesh. It was like I was dealing with a virgin.

"Hn." He said and approached the bed and proceeded to lay on top of the covers with his hands behind his head.

Control Sakura. I thought. Behave yourself. Time began to tick and rapidly pass by, but I couldn't sleep. An opportunity lay at my side that I'd be a fool to pass it up.

"Sleep Sakura. Tomorrow it begins." I looked at Sasuke sharply.

"It?" I asked quizzically. Worry began to gnaw at my gut dousing the flames of my desire. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep now. I was caught between two rivaling brothers. The pawn of both.

* * *

"What?! Sakura left the village!" Kakashi sighed. He really should have expected this reaction. "Why'd she do that?"

"She's sick Naruto. I don't think she's thinking all that clearly."

"What kind of sickness would make her leave her home, her family, and her friends?" Sasuke drifted through Naruto's mind and his face slightly hardened. "Where did she go?"

Kakashi knew that Naruto had already figured out part of the riddle that was Sakura.  Although in all honesty it wasn’t really that hard.

"I have reason to believe she is with Sasuke."

"But why? He never had the patience to deal with her before? Why would he put up with her now?"

"Sakura has something Sasuke wants."

"What is that?"

"Information." Kakashi said in a tone to end the conversation.

 

I had finally fallen asleep when my eyes snapped opened of their own accord. I groaned since I knew that night was still upon me and I was still exhausted. Tomorrow was going to be worse than I originally thought due to the lack of sleep.

It was then that I noticed him standing above me. His cold red eyes drank me in. He turned away walking into the bathroom expecting me to follow. I turned my head and glanced at Sasuke making sure he was still asleep then I slipped out of bed to follow his brother.

Silently closing the door, I looked at him quietly and waited for him to tell me what he wanted from me.

"Tell him tomorrow we are…lovers. Tell him you will lead him to me. That we planned a rendezvous not far from here. There is an abandoned village. It was destroyed not too long ago. Bring him there at noon tomorrow."

"He will wonder why I haven't told him sooner."

"Tell him whatever you will in order to explain. Just get him there and I will reward you if you're good." He gave me a quick bite on the neck. I shivered. A dark unreadable look crossed his features, and then left me alone.

I hadn't expected him to return so soon. I thought I would have more time. More time with Sasuke. More time to find a way out of this mess, but that would have been too simple.

I joined Sasuke once more in the bed. I scooted closer to him and threw my hand over his waist willing to fight if he tried to push me away.

I could very easily not do what Itachi had told me, but it would cost me my life and eventually the Uchihas would find a way to kill each other. My death would be in vain. I had betrayed so many others so why was Sasuke any different? What was one more betrayal?

Of course, I truly had no loyalty to Sasuke. The betrayal would be a betrayal of myself. Of the love that I always said I had for him. My heart suddenly hardened and I rolled away from him. There was no use loving a dead man.

Would that I could be so cold.

 


	11. The Best Policy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is honesty truly the best policy?

Dark eyes studied me quietly until I had awakened.  It should have unnerved me to awaken and have him watching me but instead I felt nothing but pain.  I felt like I had lost something that I hadn’t even obtained.

Wait, I suppose that is the truth.

 I looked back into those eyes that stared at me solemnly.  It was obvious he had something on his mind.  Once upon of time I would have waited patiently to hear whatever it was that he had to say.  However, once upon a times are for fairytales that I had long since stopped believing in. 

"Sakura, last night--"

"Sasuke." I interrupted. His gaze was almost soft as he watched me. It was almost as if he cared and that made what I was going to say so much harder. "I am Itachi's lover."

He moved before I could blink. A kunai was at my neck pressing hard enough to make me bleed. That soft look was gone replaced by the black tormented look that I had grown so accustomed to. I didn't move. I'm not certain why. Was it that blind trust that I had in him so long ago that held me still?  Did I truly think he wouldn’t hurt me?  Or did I just want him to put me out of my misery?  Nah, it definitely wasn’t the second one.

"I want to kill you Sakura."

"I know." I whispered. He seemed lost in indecision. Maybe he wouldn't kill me outright. I could certainly wait until later. He stood up and put the kunai away unable to look at me.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"You already knew Sasuke. Why shouldn't I confirm?"

"I swear Sakura I will kill you for this."

"And he will kill you." I said pointing out the never ending cycle of death "In the end he will win." He looked at me with his beautiful face distorted with rage.

" _I_ will win."

"Are you so sure of that Sasuke? What if I told you that Itachi has visited me twice since I have been with you? He could have killed you in your sleep had he wanted to." Sasuke didn't reply so I continued on. "He's toying with you. This is _his_ game with _his_ rules. If you continue to try to fight this battle you're going to end up in a grave just like the rest of your family." It was a low blow, but he was so stubborn. I had to take my shots where I could get them.

"Stop. I don't want to hear anymore. You're his woman. All this is could be a trap."

"I may be his woman, but it is you that I have always loved." If he didn't believe anything else I said I knew he'd believe that. I stared at him quietly waiting to see what he would do.  Because somewhere in my jacked up mind I believed my love was worth something. 

"Why did he come?"

"The first time…" I hesitated. I didn't think it would go over well if I told him he came to screw me senseless, "was to ensure my cooperation. The second was to tell me what he wanted me to do."

"Which was?"

"To take you to where we were supposed to meet."

"When?"

"Today."

"I don't trust you."

"You shouldn't. I will probably turn on you in the end."

"What happened to you Sakura? Why are you like this?"

I sighed. It was a question that I had often pondered. I wasn't quite sure of the answer, but I was aware of one thing. "I gave up on you Sasuke. Loving you hurt so much, and being with Itachi helped to dull the pain. He helped me escape."

He didn't say anything to my explanation. Not that I really expected him to tell me he loved me too and that he was going to come back for me. That I should have just waited for him.

Yeah, that was a fantasy.

"Tell me where he'll be."

I shook my head. "Then you can just kill me. I'm sorry, but I want to live a while longer. When the time comes I will take you, but no sooner than that."

* * *

"She shouldn't be that much farther away." Pakkun told Kakashi. A grim line formed on his face.

"Well then let's go!" Naruto yelled picking up the pace.

"Wait Naruto. There's something I have to tell you first."

"Kakashi-sensei can't this wait? We need to bring Sakura home."

"I know, but in order for us to do that you need to know about her condition."

"You said she's sick--"

"And she is. It's just not the average sickness. Naruto, Sakura has an addiction."  Naruto’s eyes grew round and large and Kakashi knew immediately that the conclusion that he had come to was the wrong one.

"Sakura's on drugs? She's a medic for goodness sakes!"  

"Not your everyday drugs Naruto. It's a bit more specialized than that. Sakura's addicted to the Sharingan."

Naruto stared at Kakashi's covered eye.  It amazed Kakashi sometimes how people thought that Naruto was an imbecile.  It took him all of thirty seconds to come to the correct conclusion.  Maybe he was lacking in terms of book smarts but otherwise Naruto was probably a genius. "How do you know this?" It was a question that he knew was coming, and didn't want to answer but he had to. Naruto needed to know what they were up against.

"Because she showed me just how addicted she is."

The stirrings of anger started to show in Naruto's face. "And how did she do that?"

"I slept with her Naruto." Naruto leapt at Kakashi swinging. Had he thought about it he should have been able to predict a reaction like that from Naruto.  There was no doubt in his mind whatsoever that he loved Sakura.  He wasn’t sure how far the depth of that love went nowadays but he knew it was there.

"You bastard! You filthy pervert!" Kakashi easily dodged his moves, but knew that if he didn't at least let Naruto get one hit then he would only get angrier and possibly stronger. That was Naruto's way. Kakashi knew the guilt was what made his decision but he wasn't sure he cared at that point. So Kakashi stopped dodging and let Naruto's fist connect with his midsection.

It hurt. It hurt a lot more than he expected it to. So he wasn't going to get hit again.

"Naruto that's enough. You're wasting time."

Naruto stopped panting slightly. If looks could kill then Kakashi would have died twice over.

"Let's go Naruto." Pakkun looked back and forth between the two knowing that a rift had just been formed between the two normally close teammates. He wasn't sure whether or not it could be healed.

The rest of their journey was completed in silence.

 

 


	12. Uchiha vs Uchiha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He may be a little stupid but she loved him. She'd die for him.

Stupid, stupid man.

Stupid Uchiha pride.

Idiot Uchiha!

All these thoughts ran through my head as we went to face (or rather Sasuke went. I was just there to lead the way) his brother alone. A normal person would have brought back up when they intentionally went off to fight an insane person.

But noooo.

Not Uchiha Sasuke.

He was too superb, too talented, and too dimwitted for that.  If I hadn’t doubted my sanity before I should have then.  And perhaps I was being redundant but what woman in her right mind loved a stupid man? 

"Sasuke, will you please listen to reason?"

"I have no desire to hear your voice Sakura."

I threw up my hands in frustration. "Fine. See if I say another word besides 'I told you so' when you're choking on your own blood."

Sasuke gave me a nasty look, but continued to follow me. I took a few more steps and then froze.  The hairs on the back of my neck rose as I realized that something wasn't right.

"Sasuke…" I said hesitatingly.

I was soon shoved out of the way as fire rained from the air. I hit the ground and continued to roll to make sure I was out of striking zone.

I jumped to my feet in time to see snakes fly from Sasuke's sleeves. My eyes scanned the area to find Sasuke’s target only to see Itachi dodge the attack easily.  He had been hidden in the leaves in the trees above us.  It took me a second to realize that he had cloaked his presence with genjutsu.  I felt a little foolish for missing it entirely, but only for a moment because it was Sasuke’s fault I was distracted by his idiocy. 

Itachi jumped down to the ground landing softly in front of Sasuke.  His gaze flitted from me to Sasuke silently sizing us up.  I fought not to squirm under his hot gaze but it was of no use.  I was well aware that I looked as guilty as I felt.

"It seemed to me that you were anticipating my attack. Has someone been disloyal?" He questioned once more looking at me.  His brow rose in what could have been amusement but I doubted it since I had never seen this Uchiha amused before and I wasn’t sure what it looked like.

"I did as you asked. You said I could tell him whatever I wanted in order to explain."

A hooded look covered his eyes as her realized that he had left me a loophole to fall through.  I doubted in our future endeavors, if I survived the current one that he would ever leave another for me to weasel my way through. "I see."

"She has nothing to do with us. This is between you and me."  I had to admit I was shocked to hear Sasuke’s words.  Was he trying to protect me?  Did he care for me even just a little?  My eyes locked on Sasuke’s face but he wouldn’t meet my gaze.  I don’t know why I was hurt by this.  It shouldn’t have been surprising in the least and yet….

"If that were true, little brother, then you never would have taken her in the first place."

What were they saying?  Wait.  Did Itachi just—

My thoughts were halted as Sasuke’s voice filtered through my brain.   

"Enough. I didn't come here to talk to you."

With the Sharingan activated, the brothers attacked each other. I found myself fascinated by the display. A part of me wanted to join Sasuke, but I knew that my help would not be appreciated. I couldn't stop watching though. I found a safe place away and watched how the two moved.  Did I look that graceful when I fought the enemy?  Somehow I doubted it.  I wanted to be jealous but some things are just too beautiful for such petty emotions.

I watched as Itachi made two clones that became a flock of ravens. They headed fast and furiously towards Sasuke. I held my breath because I knew he wasn't going to be able to move in time. The birds transformed into shuriken that cut him to pieces.  Sasuke’s blood was a brilliant red as it slid out of his wounds and stained his clothes, the ground.  My head began to pound and my heart began to ache as the conclusion of the battle came to the forefront.   

The real Itachi advanced upon Sasuke pulling his sword out.

I realized then that Sasuke was caught in some sort of genjutsu and that was why he wasn’t moving.   He was going to die and all I could do was stand to the side and quietly watch.

Itachi was soon at his side. He raised his sword in order to chop Sasuke down.

* * *

"There's a battle going on up head." Pakkun stated.

They were tired. Kakashi, for one, was in no condition to fight a battle though he wasn't sure he needed to.

"Sasuke and Itachi?" Kakashi inquired.

"Yes." That meant they would be too busy with each other to bother trying to fight them. If they played their cards right, that is.

"Is Sakura with them?"

"She is."

"Safe?"

"Yes, for now."

* * *

"Itachi! No!" He hesitated for a minute and continued his downward stroke. Before I could stop myself I appeared in front of him, my hands clasping his blade.

"I have no battle with you, kunoichi." Yet he still continued to apply pressure to the blade. It cut into my skin causing the blood to flow freely staining the silver metal.

"I can't let him die." I said keeping my voice even through the pain.

"Why? Do you believe this worthless piece of trash cares for you?" The words were familiar, but I couldn't place where I had heard such a question.

"No more than you do."

He paused slightly.

"Move or I will kill you both."

"Do what you must Itachi. If he dies I don't want to live."

A hand forcibly shoved me out of the way.  I stumbled and fell to the ground realizing that Sasuke had broken free of the genjustu.

"This is _my_ battle Sakura. Stay out of the way." Itachi smirked. I looked down at my bleeding hands and immediately began healing them. There would be no stopping them. I would sit and watch until one of them died--if not both.

Sasuke fired up his chidori and headed straight for Itachi. Itachi didn't even bother to evade. I wondered why not. I studied him silently it was then that I realized that it was not Itachi but a clone. A really good clone. Sasuke must not be able to tell with his sharingan that it was a copy.  That didn’t make any sense to me but I didn’t have time to puzzle it out. The real Itachi was right behind him.

How? How did that man move like that? More importantly how was I able to follow it when Sasuke could not?

This was it. It was the end.

_It was then I remembered why I loved Sasuke_.

I ran towards the battle.

_It was because, although he may not have realized it, we were so much alike._

This time I pushed Sasuke out of the way. Sasuke spun around with his chidori.

_We were two individuals who were extremely smart._

Itachi's blade continued headed for the place where Sasuke once stood, where I now stood.

_Two people who felt pain deeply_. _So deeply it was like daily having your heart cut out with a knife._

Where Sasuke was now aiming his chidori. His eyes widened when he realized it wasn't Itachi at his back.

_Two people who were so incredibly stupid._

Itachi hit me first. His blade running me clean through. He immediately released the blade as Sasuke hit me with his chidori.

I looked first at Itachi who stared impassively at me then I turned my head to look at Sasuke. His eyes showed his surprise.  Admittedly I felt a tug of pride that I could get any emotion out of him besides anger—even if it took suicide to do it. Throughout the pain I mustered up a smile for him.

Then darkness claimed me.

 


	13. Long Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Sasuke didn't want her he'd take her.

The scene that greeted Kakashi and Naruto was not a pleasant one. Itachi and Sasuke stood staring down at the body of Sakura. Maybe they were in shock but Kakashi couldn't say for certain. All Kakashi knew was that _he_ was in shock.  Sakura’s lifeless body lay before them.   All he could see was her pale skin stained with blood…her blood.  The body that he had numerous times held in his arms…she was de—

No.  That couldn’t be right.  Sakura wouldn’t die on him.  She wouldn’t just _leave_ like that.  So what had happened here? Moments before Pakkun had told him that she was safe. Yet there she lay with a sword in her body and it looked as if she was hit with….

Kakashi looked at the Uchiha who turned to them simultaneously ready for battle.

"Get away from her." Naruto growled. In his anger Naruto forgotten about everything but Sakura. He forgot about his promise to bring Sasuke home.  He forgot that the Akatsuki were after the Bijuu that he currently held. All he could see was his fallen comrade and the men that had left her in the state she was currently in.

Neither man moved away from Sakura. Naruto was already angry and ready to fight, but they didn't need that right now.  What they needed was to claim Sakura and bring her home as quickly as possible. Kakashi immediately moved to placate them all.

"We have not come here for either of you. We've just come to bring our teammate home."

Sasuke looked down at Sakura's bloodied body. He pulled the sword out of her body quickly performing a jutsu, temporarily stopping the blood flow. He lifted her into his arms and looked down at her. An inscrutable look passed over his face before he walked over and placed her into Kakashi's waiting arms who in turn handed her to Naruto in order to avoid an argument even if his every instinct was telling him to keep her by his side.

"Go ahead and head home, Naruto. She appears to be in critical condition. I'll be right behind you."

Naruto didn't need to be told twice. He dashed off towards Konoha but not before he casted a disgusted look in the direction of the Uchiha brothers. Kakashi watched him fade into the distance before he sighed and looked back at them.

 "What happened?"

"She got in the way." Sasuke said curtly. 

"Ah." Kakashi said thinking that Sakura had a habit of jumping into fights that she had no business in. 

"The blow was not intended for her."

Kakashi nodded at Sasuke's reply.

"We're taking her home if you hadn't guessed. She won't be leaving the village again nor will she be resorting to her former traitorous actions."

"Sakura will do what she pleases." Itachi said quietly.  In his eye was a challenge that Kakashi met head on.  He didn’t care what skill set the young Uchiha had.  Sakura needed help and he would see that she got it.

"Sakura will not be given a choice. She's sick--"

"Sick?" Sasuke said. Kakashi paused studying him. Was he clueless? Hadn't Sakura…? She must not be as sick as he originally thought if she could pass up Sasuke, the one she truly loved.

"Her judgment is impaired." Kakashi finally continued on. "The Hokage will be making her decisions for her until she is better. She will be under constant surveillance. So no outsiders will be able to reach her--if she lives anyway."

"Is this a warning Hatake?" Itachi asked

"No. It's the truth." He said turning to leave.

"Wait." Kakashi looked back at his former student, turned traitor. "You're almost completely drained." Sasuke performed another jutsu giving Kakashi some of his chakra. Kakashi was stunned that his former student would show any type of compassion.  Had something happened between him and Sakura that would cause such a change? 

Sasuke glanced at Itachi. "Some other time." He said and left them both behind. Once more Kakashi tried to leave but found he was unable to do so once the other Uchiha began to speak.

"Hatake, if Sasuke had not interfered when Sakura left the village, she would have come to me. She belongs to me now. If she lives I will come for her."

"If Sakura belongs to anyone it would be Sasuke and seeming as though he doesn't want her, I believe that would make her fair game."

* * *

I opened my eyes and looked around the room confused. The last thing I remembered was being killed.  It wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory.  Actually just thinking about it hurt like hell. 

"Sakura." I turned my head towards the familiar voice only to find myself staring into blue eyes.  Naruto.  Of course it would be Naruto at my side.  It wasn’t like I was expecting anyone else.   I was home and in the hospital.  Honestly, I wanted nothing more than to escape.  I didn’t think I would ever fuss at Kakashi again for pulling disappearing acts when he should rightfully be confined to a hospital bed. 

Nah, I probably would.

Naruto’s face was filled with worry. Worry that I had put there.  I should have felt guilty but all I felt was drained.  I wanted to close my eyes and go back to sleep but somehow I didn’t think it would do much good. 

"Naruto."

"How are you feeling?"

"Well, I'm not dead so that must count for something." I said giving him a small smile that he didn't return.

"I heard you've been ill." I sighed wondering who the blabbermouth was.  I hadn’t wanted Naruto to know about my issues.  He had enough to deal with on his own without adding my own issues to it.

"Yeah."

"You never said anything."

"Why should I worry you when you couldn't help?"

"I would have been there for you Sakura. I would have done what I could."

"I know Naruto, but I had already done everything I could for myself. No one has been able to help me."

Naruto took my hand in his. "They told me you've done things--"

"I am to be punished." Naruto squeezed my hand slightly in reassurance.

"No. Not like you think. Grandma Tsunade wants you to start attending these meetings."

"Meetings? For what?"

"For people with addictions."

I stared at him dumbfounded.  That was something I hadn’t expected.  They wanted me to go to _meetings_.  And they thought _I_ was out of my mind. "I don't need to go to any meetings. I'm fine."

"If you don't go they'll try you for treason."

That was reason enough to go because I really wasn’t foolish enough to think I would get away with treason.  Who was I besides the Hokage’s apprentice?  No one.  I’d die a grizzly death.   I sighed. "Are they alive?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you." I turned away from him.  What use was he if he couldn’t tell me if my men were alive?  He would be so cruel as to torture me with the thought that one or both of them were gone.  What good were they to me dead? 

"Leave me alone Naruto." I wanted him gone. I couldn't deal with him anymore. They say don't shoot the messenger but at that moment I was very tempted.

"No. You've been alone long enough."

 


	14. SAA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sakura finds out one of the wonderful uses of the Sharingan

They kept me isolated. The only people that entered my room were Naruto and Tsunade.

It was during one of these visits that Naruto found me shivering uncontrollably. I felt like something was was missing and it was killing me. I wasn't sure how much longer I could go on the way I had but I wasn't willing to take any chances.

"Sakura, what's wrong?" Naruto rushed to my side and took my hand in his. My hand was cold and clammy. A glance at Naruto's pale face told me that I didn't look good.

"I don't know." I whispered but it was a lie. I knew what was wrong. It had been days since I had been near any of my Sharingan wielders. Days since any of them had touched me. Days of isolation and agony.

"Naruto." I said, my mind working quickly while my body was still quaking. "Do you think maybe you could ask Kakashi to come visit? I miss him. I think having him here would help." I kept my tone light and innocent so as not to alarm him. Usually Naruto was easy to fool. I was hoping this time would be no different.

"I don't know Sakura. Grandma Tsunade said--" I stopped trying to keep my shivering to a minimum and showed him how bad I truly was. I was shaking so hard I was rocking the bed.

"Okay, I'll get him." He said worriedly. "But he can only stay a little while. Okay?"

I tried to nod but I couldn't.

Naruto dashed out the room.

* * *

"I don't think that's a good idea Naruto."

"You didn't see her. She's really bad. She's shaking so hard the whole bed is shaking and she's so pale. She looks like she's dying. Just for a little while you can peep in and then be right back out."

Kakashi sighed knowing this was a bad idea yet knew he was going along with it anyway. He hadn't seen Sakura and if he was honest with himself he would say that he was worried about her. She had nearly died at the hands of--

Kakashi broke off that thought process because it only served to make him angry. Anger would serve no purpose. Sakura had still almost died. Nothing would change that.

It was a short trip to the hospital and into the wing where they were holding Sakura. They arrived at her room where Kakashi discovered that not only was her room was locked, but only Naruto and Tsunade had a key. He glanced around wondering whether or not she had ANBU guards as well. They certainly made it seem like she was dangerous. This was Sakura, though. Yes, she had lost her path but her heart was good.

Naruto pulled the key out of his pouch and opened the door.

Sakura was still in the same state that he had left her in. Kakashi's heart started beating rapidly realizing that Naruto hadn't been exaggerating Sakura's state. She really was as bad off as he told her.

"Sakura?"

"Yyyes?"

"I brought Kakashi like you asked."

She turned her head and gazed at him. Something in the way she looked at Kakashi made him become distinctly uncomfortable. Her shivers started to slow. She turned her head away from him. Kakashi let out a relieved breath. Her still shaky hand reached for a glass of water on the table at her side. She made an attempt to take a sip but failed to do so because her glass was empty. She turned those big green eyes upon Naruto and dread started to form in the pit of his stomach.

"Naruto would you please get me a glass of water? I'm so thirsty." She lay her head on her pillow and closed her eyes.

"Sure Sakura. I'll be right back." Naruto ran out the room before Kakashi could utter a word of protest.

Kakashi blinked his eye only to find Sakura right in front of him. Her hands moved performing hand signs but he was too busy looking at the lips she was licking in order to pay attention.

"Hello Kakashi." Kakashi swallowed harshly. Sakura extended her hand and ran a single finger down his chest. "Why haven't you been to visit me?" Deadly green eyes locked with his.

"I think I need to leave Sakura."

"Why?" She asked moving closer pressing her body against his. He shuddered slightly as he felt her pert nipples rub against his chest. She rose on her toes and lightly placed a kiss on his collar bone.

"Sakura, you have a problem." Kakashi began to reason. Why wasn't he moving? Why didn't he want to leave?

"That can oh so easily be solved if you would be so kind as to remove a few articles of clothing."

Kakashi shivered before finally pulling himself together and moved towards the door to open it but found that he couldn't. The window and door had been sealed to keep her in. Keep him in.

Sakura walked over to her prey.

Kakashi opened his mouth to protest as she removed his jacket but she silenced him with a kiss. A kiss that erased all thoughts from his mind except two.

_Pull her closer._

_Kiss her back._

Her lips were assoftas he remembered and her tongue was just as wicked. How long had it been since he had kissed her?

The doorknob suddenly shook. Kakashi, momentarily distracted, turned his head toward the door.

"Ignore it." Sakura demanded and claimed his lips once more. He had no problem doing her bidding and allowed his hands to lower to her bottom and mold her hips to his own.

"Sakura. I can't get in." Kakashi felt her smile in her kiss. "Is Kakashi still in there?" Naruto's voice called out.

Sakura slipped her hands under his shirt running her hands over him. He quickly grabbed her hands and pinned them over her head. He couldn't let her hands wander too much or else he'd be putty in her hands...and...

Kakashi pulled his lips away from hers and shook his head trying to clear his head.

"Mmm. Becoming rather forceful hmm Kakashi?" Sakura purred.

"Sakura this has to stop." His actions belied his words and he claimed her lips once more.

The wall behind them suddenly crumbled. Kakashi's eye opened wide. In the wreckage stood Tsunade who looked ready to commit murder. Sakura glanced over his shoulder taking stock of what had just happened before quickly jumping into Kakashi's arms wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

"I'm not letting you take him!"

Tsunade advanced with six ANBU that stood slightly behind her, Shikamaru, and Naruto who happened to be obviously livid.

"Let her go Kakashi."

Kakashi waved his free hands. "I don't have her." Sakura buried her face in his neck and inhaled his scent causing Kakashi to shudder.

"Haruno Sakura let him go." She ignored Tsunade and gave Kakashi a light bite on the neck. Tsunade, upon seeing this, growled.

"You ungrateful little wretch." She grabbed Sakura's hands and began to forcefully pry her off Kakashi's body. "Will you help me?" Tsunade said glaring at her assisting ANBU. Unfortunately for the ANBU they didn't have Sakura and Tsunade's insane strength so as soon as Tsunade got her hands free and moved to her legs the ANBU were unable to keep her arms from wrapping around his neck once more.

"Sakura you have to let go." Kakashi said.

"Tell me you want me to let go and I'll do it."

"I want you to let go." He lied.

"Liar." She replied and continued to hold onto him.

"This is pointless." One of the ANBU said.

Naruto said suddenly. "That's because we're making this harder than it has to be. Grandma Tsunade keep pulling her arms and legs apart. I'll take care of the rest."

Naruto came towards Sakura's body and began to unmercifully tickle her sides breaking her concentration. Tsunade managed to get her feet on the ground.

"Shikamaru now!" Tsunade yelled. Shikamaru grabbed her with his Shadow possession jutsu.

"Kakashi go to my office now!"

"No!" Sakura screamed. "You can't take him. Noooooooooooooooo!"

  
  


"Why would you do something so foolish?” Tsunade railed at Kakashi. “Don't you care _anything_ about her?"

"I came because I care."

"You're a part of the problem Kakashi. You need to stay away from her. Why the hell would you kiss her?"

Kakashi ran a hand over his face. He hated when people asked him a question that he couldn't give an answer to. "I don't know. I couldn't help myself."

"You're a grown man. Get control of yourself or else I'll lock you up until I get a handle on Sakura."

Kakashi just nodded and left her office.

* * *

Weeks had passed since the incident in my isolated room. They allowed me to move back home and I was glad for it. I foolishly assumed it would grant me time to pursue Kakashi. I was wrong.

My first meeting at SAA came all too quickly. I dreaded coming there. To me, it seemed like a pointless endeavor yet they were determined to make me try it. I shifted uncomfortably in the chair and looked over at Naruto. He smiled at me encouragingly and in response I glared at him. He had practically moved into my apartment. He was like a guard dog that ate up all my food.

I folded my arms across my chest and stared forward at the instructor. There weren't that many women in the room. Four all total plus Naruto. One of them I vaguely recognized but I couldn't place where I had seen her.

Kurenai sat in a chair in front of them all. I rolled my eyes sick of it all when it hadn't even begun yet. "Good morning ladies." They all said good morning like good little puppets. She noticed my silence and stared directly at me. "Ladies we have a new member joining us today." She looked at me with a encouraging smile that I found rather nauseating. "For our first visit we have the new member stand up state their name and say that they are addicted to the Sharingan." She motioned her hands indicating I should begin. I looked at Naruto and his eyes pleaded with me. I now knew why he insisted on coming with me. If he hadn't I would have walked out and had to face all those consequences that were spoken of. I looked around the room and wondered if death would be a better punishment.

"My name is Haruno Sakura and I am addicted to the Sharingan."

A chorus of 'Hi Sakura' greeted me. It was ridiculous. I sat back down.

"Just to recap how we do things. Every week each member tells us the status of their condition how they've stayed on the band wagon or how they have fallen off. Since we have a new member would anyone be willing to share their story?"

The woman I recognized raised her hand. Her hair was extremely short and black. Her eyes were hazel. It was cropped low to her head and for some reason I found her hair appealing. "Ami go ahead." Kurenai said giving her an encouraging smile.

"It has been three months since I stopped stalking Hatake Kakashi."

Okay, so she caught my attention. That was where I knew her from. I had seen them together. Wait. Did she say stalking?

"We were lovers for two weeks. Some of you know just how skilled of a bed partner Kakashi can be." I found myself nodding, entranced. "Well this particular night he tried something different." Different? What was so different? "He lifted his forehead protector and revealed his Sharingan." Her eyes took on a far away glazed look. I scooted forward to the edge of my seat wondering at what words were going to escape her lips. "He told me to keep my eyes open. To stare into his eyes. It was the most amazing thing. He brought me with his eyes. He brought me with his body. I don't know if I can explain it. It was like his eyes reached into my mind and brought me to a state of nirvana mentally while he brought me physically as well. It was the most mind blowing experience ever. I haven't been able to sleep with another man since. They can't compare to Kakashi. Everyone knows that Kakashi doesn't do relationships but I tried. I did everything I could to keep him. I--"

"What the fuck?" I jumped up. "He never used that on me. I've been cheated! That no good bastard. Wait until I get my hands of him I going to screw him three ways to S--" I started walking out the room, but Naruto's hand snaked out and grabbed me around the waist and dumped me back into the chair. I blinked momentarily stunned. Naruto had never handled me forcefully before and I found the need to remark upon it.

"What did you do that for? Didn't you hear her? He can use his Sharingan to bring people to _nirvana._ She's just some woman he picked up. He's known me forever and he never once--" I looked around the room noticing that everyone was looking at me.

Awkward.

"Sakura, the addiction of the women in this room started because the Sharingan was used on them for pleasure. If you knew nothing about this then how did your addiction start?" Kurenai asked curiously.

I stared at her coldly.

"Sakura please." Naruto begged. "Just try." Why wouldn't he just leave? He was like a bloody conscience. I had killed mine a long time ago. Why did he insist upon sharing his?

"Fine Naruto. If it'll shut you up." I looked directly in to Kurenai's eyes. "I don't know how or why my addiction started. One day I was in love with Uchiha Sasuke the next day he was gone. It all went downhill from there. I found myself lusting after my sensei. To the point where I seduced him. Repeatedly. Gladly. He wasn't a true Sharingan holder though. While I was on a mission one day I ran into Uchiha Itachi. I made a deal with him in exchange for his body I would give him every secret of Konoha I could come across and I don't regret it. If you women think Kakashi was a good lover then you certainly have never tangoed with Itachi. I never needed mind tricks to start my addiction. One day it was just there. It's still here and it's not going away. You think I haven't sat and talked with people about this before? I have, and you know what? I didn't get better. This is who I am. I've accepted it. I'm fine with it. So screw you all."

I leaned back and folded my arms across my chest pouting silently. I didn't dare look at Naruto. I didn't want to see the shock and hurt that I knew was written all over his face. I only told the truth and he needed to deal with it.

"Sakura." Kurenai said softly. "You're not the only one who has dealt with Uchiha Itachi."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded. One of the women looked at Sakura.

"I was Itachi's betrothed." The woman said. "After he massacred his clan of course that ended things but Itachi is a beautiful man." She sighed. "He came back when he was eighteen looking for Naruto but he ran into me first and--" She broke off as tears formed in her eyes. "I tried to talk to him. Tell him he needed to come home and face the consequences of his actions but somewhere things got muddled and he used that wonderful Sharingan on me and--" She broke off staring into space.

All I could think was why the hell does everyone get the Sharingan actually used on them but me?

 

 


	15. Unexpected Vistor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe just maybe it wasn't Sakura with the addiction...

 

"This is to help you Sakura. You could try a little harder."

I couldn't believe I was getting a lecture from Naruto. Naruto of all people.

"Be happy I went." Naruto whirled around and faced me anger radiating off his entire person. I had never seen him that angry at anyone before. It was rather interesting.

"No _you_ be happy you went. You could be dead now."

"What is with you Naruto?" I asked with my hands on my hips, a sneer on my face.

"No what's with _you_?" He said not backing down which was unusual. He normally ran at signs of my displeasure—or he at least flinched.

"Haven't you heard? I'm s _iiii_ ck."

"Psh. I don't think you're sick. I think you're stuck on yourself." I stiffened at his proclamation because I wasn't exactly pleased with the way his thought process was going.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you act like you're the only one that's ever been hurt before. I go through this village everyday with the people looking at me like I'm some sort of monster--"

"It's not the same!"

"Who the fuck cares? I deal with it. You need to learn to deal with your shit too."

I stared at Naruto with my mouth agape. Is that what he really thought of me? That I was too much of a princess to handle myself?

"If you feel this way why are you hanging around? Leave me in peace."

"No."

"Why the hell not Naruto? If you think I'm such a burden then just go."

"I'm not leaving Sakura. Let it go."

"And again I ask why the hell not?"

"Because he left. You need to know that not every man you care about will leave."

I stared at him astounded. I hadn't even been aware that I felt that way and yet within seconds Naruto casually tossed part of my problem in my face. Tears sprang unwelcome to my eyes.

"Damn you, Naruto." I said and walked quickly towards my apartment with him hot on my heels.

* * *

"I don't know if I can help her."

"What do you mean you don't know if you can help her?" Tsunade said dangerously.

"The girls I have dealt with, their addiction has been inflicted upon them accidentally. They were desperate for a way to fix themselves. Sakura made herself this way. I can't help her unless she wants to be helped. She doesn't want that help."

"You're putting my back up against the wall Kurenai. What am I supposed to do with her if professional help won't work?"

"I don't know, but I have talked to Kakashi."

Tsunade's lips curled in disgust at the mention of his name. "What did he say?"

"A lot actually. He said that despite Sakura's addiction while she was with Sasuke she never attacked him."

"That's a bunch of garbage. One thing I know for sure is that this whole thing started because of that traitor. She had him in her grasp why wouldn't she take advantage of it?"

"Because she loves him."

"…"

"Because of that love she seems to be unwilling to seduce him. She wants him to come to her of his own accord."

"That's never going to happen."

"Hence the addiction." There was a moment of silence while Kurenai allowed Tsunade to ponder her words. The Hokage forced herself to put aside her prejudice against the Copy Ninja and ask the question that needed to be asked.

"So what else did he say?"

"He said that if she doesn't get better Itachi will come and take her. He said she'd go willingly. Kakashi also mentioned that the only reason that Sakura is alive is because Sasuke performed some jutsu on her to help her survive the trip home."

"She's alive because of Sasuke. Do you think that means he cares for her?"

"I couldn't begin to understand the workings on his mind but I think there's another matter that you need to consider."

"What now?" Tsunade said grabbing a bottle of sake.

"Kakashi has developed a theory about Sakura. Given his current obsession with her and from what he could tell from his brief encounter with the other traitor it seemed that he shares his obsession."

"Are you telling me that the men have an addiction to Sakura?"

"I am."

"How could these men be addicted to Sakura? She has nothing with which to enslave them."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. I think you should study her. Study her alone and in the presence of Kakashi. See what you find."

"What do you think I'll find?"

"The answer." Kurenai replied simply.

* * *

I watched as Naruto searched my bedroom for intruders before he turned in for the night. He had yet to speak to me since our argument earlier. It bothered me and I didn't know why.

"Naruto." I said as he was about to leave my room. He turned and looked at me. "I'm sorry if I have hurt you in any way. I never wanted that."

Naruto sighed and asked the million dollar question. "What do you want Sakura?"

"What I've always wanted." I said. He waited for me to elaborate but I didn't bother. He didn't press for more he simply left me alone. I was grateful for that.

Moving to my bed I lay down suddenly feeling exhausted. I closed my eyes settling myself against my pillow but an audible click had me wide awake and alert immediately. I looked at the window when I heard the latch slide open and grabbed the kunai I kept under my pillow just in case someone was stupid enough to try and harm me in my sleep. The window raised and in stepped…

I couldn't believe my eyes. Was I dreaming? He stepped out of the shadows allowing me to see him clearly.

"Sasuke." His name came out as a breathy whisper. I knew my eyes were large and round as they stared at him in wonder. I slowly sat up and would have rose to my feet but he waved his hand forestalling the motion.

"So you're still alive." He said but he wasn't actually surprised.

"I could say the same to you."

I glanced at the door suddenly remembering that his company wasn't exactly smart to have in my boudoir. "You should leave. Naruto will be in here after a while to do another check on me."

He ignored me and I was glad. "They told me you have been sick."

"I'm not sick."

"Really? Then why do they think so?" I shrugged slightly,.

"I have an addiction."

"To what?" I didn't want to answer that question so I avoided it.

"Why are you here Sasuke?"

"…" His silence unnerved and excited me. There had to be a reason he was here with me now. I desperately needed to know what it was.

"Please Sasuke. Tell me why you're here."

"What are you addicted to?" He pressed. It was then that I realized that he wasn't asking a question. He was demanding an answer. I would get no answers to my questions until I had answered his satisfactorily. I bit my bottom lip hard tasting blood before I could admit the truth.

"I'm addicted to the Sharingan." Sasuke moved closer to me. So close that his legs touched mine. I had to strain my neck to look up at him and meet those sharinganless eyes.

"Is that why you went to Itachi?"

"It could be. Though there are those that think I just have mental issues and I need to deal with them." I said, thinking of Naruto.

"I heard you." Sasuke said suddenly, completely changing the subject.

"Heard me?"

"When you were talking to Itachi during the fight. You said that if I died you didn't want to live."

I sighed. Ah, that. He would bring that up. "And?"

"And I want to know why you would say that."

"Is that why you came all the way here?"

"Answer the question Sakura."

"I don't have to do anything." I folded my arms across my chest. The dense man still didn't know how much I loved him.

"Sakura…" he growled dangerously.

"Sasuke…" I growled back mockingly.

"If Itachi came for you today would you go with him?"

I looked at him blankly. I certainly couldn't answer that question. Not when I had him standing in my bedroom. Not when right at that moment my world was revolving around him. Not when the answer to that question was most certainly yes...if he didn't take me himself.

"I have an addiction. There's no telling what I'll do." I drawled.

"Does the addiction extend to all Sharingan wielders?"

"Why are you asking me this? A few weeks ago you swore that you'd kill me. If that's what you want then stop pussy footing around and do the damn thing."

"If I killed you Sakura then I'd be killing myself right afterward and I have things to do before I die."

What the hell did that mean? How was a girl supposed to take that?

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked, voicing my thoughts.

Sasuke smirked.

"It means that I'll kill you before I let another man have you. And if I hurt you it'd be something worth dying for."

It would take Sasuke to use the word kill when trying to win a girl over.

It would take me to be flattered by it.

I was so fucked up.

 


	16. Evasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What they don't know won't hurt 'em.

He walked over to me and extended his finger towards my chin lifting it so that my eyes met his. He lowered his lips to mine and kissed them lightly. This surprised me. It was so different from Itachi. I had expected the same soul shattering passion that I felt with his brother. This was something completely different.

It was worse. It was a tease. It made me yearn for more of him.

"Sasuke." I whispered. A smirk appeared on his face. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my fingertips sending shock waves throughout my body. He released my hand and proceeded to remove his shoes.

He climbed into my bed and pulled me close to him. The action startled me given how not so long ago he hadn't even wanted me to share a room with him. Yet I wasn't going to argue about it. In fact, I was probably reveling in it. "You are mine Sakura. You always will be." He claimed my lips once more coaxing a response from me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body against his as he deepened the kiss. Our tongues danced together, Sasuke's maintaining dominance. How I wanted this man. I had waited for so long to have him.

He pulled away letting his eyes roam over my body hungrily. In response I let my hands trail over his chest in an invitation no sane man would refuse. It was a pity that Sasuke was anything but sane. He grabbed my hands and stilled them.

"Sleep." He ordered.

"But--" He wanted me. I could tell and I wanted him as well.

"I said sleep." He pulled me tight against his chest. I wasn't going to argue with him. I knew how stubborn the man could be. Besides, we'd have plenty of time to become acquainted. I wrapped my arms around him holding as tight as I could before I drifted to sleep.

I awakened the next morning to an empty bed. I turned my head towards the bathroom and softly called out,

"Sasuke?" I received no reply. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I walked towards the bathroom only to find it empty. My heart started to pound and dread spread throughout my soul. I walked out and checked the kitchen and the living room. I even peeked in on Naruto in my spare bedroom only to find him sound asleep.

I was alone. He had left sometime in the night. I lay down on my bed and inhaled my sheets which still held a trace of his lingering scent. It hadn't been a dream.

He had come after all but he left me. Without saying goodbye.

* * *

She moved about as if in a daze, methodically destroying everything in her room.

"Sakura, what are you doing?" She didn't respond. She took a kunai and shredded her sheets with them.

He glanced at the window and noted that it was open. He had place a seal on it to alert him if there were any intruders. He never received any alert. Whoever had entered her room was very good.

Dangerously so.

"Sakura, who came in here?"

She didn't reply but rather picked up a lamp and threw it on the ground dashing it to pieces. Naruto grabbed her by the shoulders forcing her to look at him.

"Sakura! Answer me." Naruto shook her lightly.

"Does it even matter? He's gone."

"Sakura you're not allowed near any of the Sharingan wielders. Did Kakashi sneak in here last night?"

"No."

"Itachi?"

"Naruto, he's gone." She pulled out of my grasp, her face full of despair, and went to the window and just stared outside.

* * *

Naruto brought me before Tsunade. "Sakura, Naruto tells me you had a visitor last night."

I glanced at Naruto. The little snitch. There was no use denying it. My erratic behavior earlier gave me away. "I did."

"Sakura you are aware that this violates the terms of your probation."

"I never set out to invite anyone into my bedroom."

"You could have called Naruto." That was true. I could have. But why should I have? It wasn't like I actually wanted help. She knew that. Naruto knew that and yet they were forcing me to play silly games.

"I would have been dead by the time he reached me."

"Did Itachi offer to make you a part of the Akatsuki?"

Why was everyone assuming it was Itachi that came to my room? Could it be that I was deliberately leading them in that direction? Maybe...

"No."

"Did he offer to take you with him?"

"No."

"Then why did he come?"

I really didn't want to tell them that Sasuke had been my midnight visitor. Although I had a feeling that my omission would come back to bite me one day.

"I don't know the workings of Itachi's mind." I was careful to answer all her questions without directly lying to her.

"Did he say when he planned to return?"

"He did not."

"Would you tell me if he did?"

I hesitated for the first time. "I don't know."

Tsunade sighed as if sensing that particular line of conversation with me was useless. "Sakura, I talked to Kurenai yesterday. She told me that you didn't want help. Is that true?"

"I want what I've always wanted."

"And what is that Sakura? Tell me. Let me help you."

I looked into her pleading eyes. She was truly agonizing over me and I hated it. I hated that I was pushing the people closest to me away. I looked at Naruto. His words from the previous day echoed in my mind. They were what had played through my mind as I destroyed my room earlier.

"I want to be loved by someone who won't leave me."

"Sakura, at some point we all lose someone we love."

I didn't reply. I didn't know what to say. Logically, I knew that but, the person I had been for so long just wanted to destroy everything in blind rage before acknowledging her words.

I guess she was waiting for me to say something, anything. Maybe she even expected me to fall out sobbing at her feet and asking for forgiveness. If that was what she wanted then she had a long wait ahead of her.

I did not regret any of my actions. They were wrong to give me a second chance.

Tsunade sighed. "This was not why I called you here today."

I looked at her surprised. What could she possibly want if it was not to scold me?

"I have been presented with a theory regarding your condition that I need to study."

"A theory." I repeated.

"Yes. The consensus is that you have become a magnet for the Sharingan users that you have been intimate with. They don't seem to be able to resist you."

I froze for a minute as my mind pondered her words before laughing. "Are you serious?" I should have slept with Sasuke. I should have pressed the issue last night. Me? Irresistible? It was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

"This is not a laughing matter Sakura." To her it wasn't. The woman had just told me that my pussy was addictive. I was feeling pretty proud.

"I want to study you and find out how exactly this has happened. I think that there is some correlation between who you are now and what you are doing to these men."

"Are you saying that you think that you could possibly derive a way to…to heal me?"

"I think it is a possibility."

I took an involuntary step back. I wasn't sure I wanted to be healed. It was so much easier dealing with life the way I was. I didn't want to go back to being the Sakura that I was.

Yet,

I looked at Naruto's face so full of hope. Despite it all, he was my friend. He was there for me even when I didn't want him to be. In a way I guess he needed me. I couldn't quite dash his hopes to pieces.

"I'll let you study me." I said. If there was a way to heal myself I needed to at least know about it.

It didn't necessarily mean that I'd accept treatment.

"But whether or not I will accept whatever cure you derive I have not yet determined."

 

 


	17. Love Lockdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sasuke is a naughty, naughty ninja.

 

  
  


I sat quietly on the examination table swinging my legs slightly as Tsunade drew blood from my arm. Her face was grim and I could almost see what she was thinking.

  
  


_My poor student. How can I help her? I have to reach her somehow._

"What can I do to reach you Sakura?"

This was becoming annoying – probably because the whole situation was so predictable. My patience was wearing thin. I was trying not to do anything foolish, but I had a feeling it was a losing battle.

"I'm right here master. You don't have to reach very far." She reached out and struck me. My head swung to the side from the force of her blow. Blood trickle out of the corner of my mouth and I raised my hand to wipe away his presence.

"I don't find your impertinence amusing." I smiled genuinely at her. It wasn't like I expected her to. Tsunade removed the tourniquet and needle from my arm. "Why do I need to hit you in order to get a real smile out of you?"

I just shrugged. "I know you're worried about me but I'm fine."

"Sakura, you're getting worse." I could acknowledge that. In fact, I probably knew it before she did.

"Okay."

"Just okay?"

"What else am I supposed to say? I've been dealing with this for quite some time now. I know I'm getting worse."

I know she hated the acceptance in my voice, but I knew of no way to soothe her. Even if I did I wasn't exactly in the soothing mood. "Just go Sakura. I'll send for you when I'm ready to proceed with the next phase."

I slid off the table and headed out the door expecting to see Naruto in the hall waiting for me. The hallway was totally empty though. A smile stretched across my lips and joy danced in my heart as I proceeded to make a run for it.

Kakashi here I come!

Of course, before I could get my foot off the ground I was frozen in place. Shikamaru stepped out of the shadows making me dance like his puppet.

"Sorry, but you're not getting away that easily." I scowled. I should've known it wouldn't be that easy.

"Where's Naruto?"

"On a mission. I'm stuck babysitting you."

Babysitting huh? Is that what they were calling it now? Still, it was a situation that could work in my favor.

"How about I promise to behave myself and go straight home then you can have the day free to do some cloud watching."

He appeared to contemplate the matter. I waited eagerly for his reply. I knew the temptation had to be great. This _was_ Shikamaru we were talking about.

And they say _I_ have an addiction.

"Sorry but you'll just run off to find whoever and it'll be my head that's getting served on a platter to the Hokage when you get caught." He was right. I guess they didn't call him a genius for no reason.

"I'll be discreet and I'll come right back to you when I'm done."

"This won't help you Sakura. I'm supposed to be your friend here. This is all too troublesome." He muttered under his breath.

Shikamaru began to walk out of the hospital. I had no choice but to follow because he wouldn't release his stupid jutsu.

"Shikamaru," I said coaxing. "You can trust me. I'll come right back."

"Right. I can trust you about as much as I can trust Chouji to leave me the last chip."

I flinched.

"Well, hell. You didn't have to be so harsh."

* * *

"What have you found Lady Tsunade?" Kurenai asked curiously staring at the Hokage who was leaning over the microscope.

She turned and looked out blankly at the room before finally focusing upon Kurenai. "I think she has a kekkai genkai."

A beat of silence passed between the two as Kurenai gaped at her. It was unthinkable that a kekkai genkai would cause such destructive behavior. She waited for the Hokage a to tell her that it was some sort of joke but the woman remained silent prompting her to shout,

"What?! What kind?"

"Something never before heard of. Get Kakashi. Get Sakura. Get them now. I need to see them interact."

* * *

I walked into the laboratory and glanced around the room. I was startled to find Kakashi sitting in a corner in the room. Startled but glad.

Put a bow on the man and let me unwrap him.

Unfortunately Tsunade walked in right behind me.

"Sakura, Kakashi good you're both here. If you two can restrain yourself I'd like to talk to you for a minute."

I made my way over to Kakashi side and took a seat in the chair next to him."

"I think I may have discovered the source of the problem."

"Oh?" I replied covertly studying Kakashi. He was studiously avoiding my gaze. I mentally pouted a while before starting to plot ways to get his attention.

"I believe you to have a kekkai genkai."

I snapped to attention. Did she just say what I thought she just said?

"A what?"

"You heard me. Although how it works I have a few guesses but I need to study you more in order to determine if I'm right. I'm going to leave you two alone and I want you to see how long you can go without attacking each other. I will be observing in the next room." She said indicating the room with the glass window attached to it.

"Kinky." I said before I could stop myself earning myself another blow. Tsunade soon left us alone. I immediately crossed my legs gaining Kakashi's attention.

"So, a kekkai genkai Kakashi. Isn't that interesting?"

I stared at him for a moment realizing that his eyes hadn't left my legs. I soon realized that he hadn't heard a word I said probably since I entered the room. It was making me curious. Just how long could Kakashi resist me? I had always been the initiator between us. Could he actually hold off from touching me through sheer willpower?

"Kakashi, won't you talk to me?" I asked pouting once more.

He shook his head and pulled out his Icha Icha book. He opened it and then closed it quickly putting it away again. I grinned.

"Kakashi if you talked to me maybe you wouldn't think about it."

"I only have to look at you and think about it."

"Oh?" I stood up and moved in front of him kneeling between his knees.

"Sakura. We have a audience." He whispered.

"I know." I whispered back. "That makes it more fun." His looked at me intensely. His eye darkened filling with passion. My lips parted as desire raked over me. He grabbed me picking me up and placing me in his lap before he lowered his lips to mine.

Darkness engulfed me.

_______________________________________________________________________________

_You are mine Sakura. You always will be._

_I left you a little something to remember this just in case you forget._

_________________________________________________________________________________

My eyes opened. I had no idea how much time had passed. I sat up puzzled as to why I was on the floor. Where was Kakashi?

"Sakura are you okay? What happened? Talk to me." Tsunade's face hovered above mine.

My mind was putting together the pieces of what had just happened to me. Sasuke's voice, I heard it clearly in my head. He had put some sort of jutsu on me. A wave of anger rushed over me. That bastard. He had no right.

"You passed out. Your body was so rigid it wouldn't move. No one was able to touch you but me. What's going on Sakura?" I was no Shikamaru but it didn't take a genius to figure out what happened to me.

No one was able to touch me.

"Blasted Uchiha!" I yelled.

 


	18. Kekkai Genkai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tsunade acknowledges the genius of the Uchiha.

Tsunade laughed hysterically at my plight. I, on the other hand, did not share her amusement.

"Oh this is priceless. I wish I had thought of it first." My eyes narrowed and I forced myself to maintain patience.

"Lady Tsunade, are you going to take this jutsu off me?"

"Sorry, but no. That Uchiha is a genius. At least he did the village some good by getting a handle on you." She would see it that way. Still, I hoped to reason with her.

"Lady Tsunade--"

"No Sakura. Had you been loyal to your village none of this would have happened in the first place. Had you sought help this wouldn't have happened."

"I did!"

"But for how long?" I remained silent for while until I realized that she was waiting for an answer. I shifted uneasily before saying, "long enough."

"Apparently not. This jutsu is going to teach you the value of self-control."

"So what? I'm supposed to go without sex for the rest of my life?" I said incredulously. "That's cruel and unusual punishment."

"Isn't it?" Tsunade said smiling. I was angry, but I was too desperate to show that anger.

"Lady Tsunade please, you can't do this to me."

"You worry too much Sakura. Look if it makes you feel any better from the looks of it your body only shuts down if someone with the Sharingan tries to um," Tsunade chuckled. "be intimate with you."

"How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"There are other fish in the sea Sakura. Perhaps you should start taking a look at the other men in the village. They could help you get rid of your unhealthy obsession."

"Like who?"

"Well, Naruto has always had a fondness for you--" There was no way I would let her complete that statement.

"Hell no."

"Why not? He's handsome. He's loyal and he's going to be Hokage one day."

"I don't doubt that and while Naruto is a cutie he's really n--"

"No brooding dark eyed Sharingan wielder?"

I smirked. "Well that, but I was going to say he's really not compatible with me. We wouldn't be a good match. We're friends. That's it."

Tsunade sighed. She loved Naruto. It was obvious. She loved me as well. I guess it was only natural for her to want to see us together but no. Just no.

"Neji's single."

"Why are you so stuck on this?" Although, she wasn't the only one stuck on certain things.

"I don't want to lose you Sakura."

"Lady Tsunade, I'm not going anywhere." I said exasperated.

"You've already left the village once Sakura."

I guessed they were always going to hold that over my head. I go hang out with criminals _one_ time....

  


I decided it might be a good time to change the subject.

"What about my kekkai genkai? What did you discover about that?"

"Well, I only had a limited amount of time to study it, but from what I saw your body was emitting waves of chakra throughout the whole encounter."

"I didn't use any chakra."

"Not consciously but still you were."

"Then why didn't I feel drained?"

"That probably had something to do with you passing out."

"No. I have never felt my chakra draining when in the presence of Itachi and Kakashi."

Tsunade was silent for a moment. "Ah, that explains part of the puzzle. You see, Kakashi was emitting waves of chakra as well. I'm thinking you absorbed his chakra and vice versa."

I blinked. "I can absorb chakra?"

"It's so much more than that." Tsunade said excited as if something just clicked in her mind. "If you learned how to control this you can absorb the chakra of your enemies ending a fight before it begins."

"I don't understand. If I absorb someone's chakra and they absorb mine how is that defeating an enemy?"

"Your lover or rather lovers you don't consider your enemy. With your lovers it's different. I'm thinking that you can only exchange chakra with them. Also it seems to be that you're not only able to exchange chakra but some of their personality traits are rubbing off on you. Take for instance Itachi's 'I don't give a damn' attitude. It's written all over you."

Yeah, that sounded right.

"Okay so what am I getting from Kakashi?"

"I would say his confidence. You were never this confident before. I would either guess that or you've inherited his sex appeal."

I preferred to think I had my own sex appeal not some I borrowed from Kakashi.

"Okay so what do they get from me?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean I don't know?"

"You know them better than me. I was hoping you'd tell me."

I stood their quietly thinking about Kakashi and Itachi.

"Itachi...something that I've found odd is that he keeps coming back to me."

"Well you were giving him Kohona's secrets." She said sarcastically.

"No. It's like he's always there. When I was with Sasuke, he came to me and asked me was I with Sasuke by choice or was I being held against my will."

"So? He could've just been curious."

"Maybe, but now that I think on it, if I had told him I was being held against my will I think he would have brought me back to Kohona had I wished it."

"What does that have to do with you?"

"This is the man who killed his entire clan. Why would he help me? Maybe something good from me rubbed off on him. I got in his way when he was trying to kill Sasuke. Why didn't he kill me? Had it been anyone else he would have. Maybe he's been--"

I broke off startled at the conclusion that I had come to.

"He's been absorbing your ability to love." Tsunade finished for me.

"That or my conscience." Although a part of me didn't think either was it with Itachi. However, he was getting something from me. Something that kept him coming back for more. Maybe it was my loyalty in love that Itachi had gained. My love for Sasuke had always been constant no matter what he had done or who he was with.  I loved him.  Nothing would ever change that.

"And Kakashi?"

"My insecurities." I said immediately. That was an easy one. I had noticed a change in Kakashi since we had begun our affair.

"And because of your frequent contact with the two, things have been unable to go back to normal. You need to learn how to turn it off."

"I don't want to."

"What?"

"I like myself now."

"There was nothing wrong with you before Sakura. You had a good heart. You were loved."

"I was riddled with doubt and insecurity about everything. Even after I started training with you that doubt lingered. Do you know how long I felt worthless? I've been freed of that!"

"At someone's expense."

"Having my insecurities has only affected one aspect of Kakashi's life--his sex life, and I can assure you I intend to work with him on that."

"How?" Tsunade snickered. "It looks like your Uchiha has you on lockdown."

I frowned thinking about Sasuke. I was going to kill him and save Itachi the trouble.

"Anyway, I need you to try and get control of your kekkai genkai. This will probably be hard for you since you're the first person I've ever heard of with this type of talent. But the one thing we need as shinobi is control. Be glad for the jutsu Itachi placed on you because I'm going limit the amount of people guarding you because of it. Now get out of my office."

I turned and headed for the door.

"Oh and Sakura," I paused. "You will stop using your kekkai genkai on Kakashi. That's an order."

I grit my teeth and left her office in silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Broken Crest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Say please."
> 
> "Please." I begged.

I spent my time working on controlling my kekkai genkai. Slowly but surely I felt the woman that I was return. I became fully aware of everything I had done to betray my village and I felt sick.

  


Sick that I could hurt so many people. Sick of the pitying looks that I received from people. But most of all I was sick because I wanted to go back to the way I was, sick because I could not use Kakashi to take away my insecurities and I wished could still use Itachi to take a way my remorse.

I wanted that so badly I could taste it.

I needed to see Itachi. Maybe he could help me remove the jutsu that Sasuke placed upon me. He was one powerful shinobi. He had to know of a way…or at least point me in the right direction.

  


Oh and Sasuke. I still loved him. I was pissed as hell at him but I still loved him. I began to ponder over why he would put such a jutsu on me in the first place. I hadn't thought of it before because although I loved him I just didn't care enough about the implications to consider it.

Was he jealous? Did he want to keep me all to himself? Was he coming home? Was he coming back for me?

All these thoughts plagued me and I was slowly driving myself crazy. Crazier than I already was.

  


  


"Sakura!" I looked up and smiled at Naruto.

"Good morning Naruto."

He engulfed me in a bear hug that I returned tentatively. "You're looking good this morning Sakura. Where are you headed?"

"To the hospital. Lady Tsunade has agreed to let me resume my duties."

"That's great! How about we go out for ramen afterward?"

I nodded my head. "Sure." I replied watching as Naruto went on his way.

I continued onwards to the hospital lost in my thoughts. Out the corner of my eye I saw Kakashi. Well, actually we saw each other. We both paused and stared at each other. I looked down at the ground and continued walking. I wasn't sure if he did so as well, seeming as though I didn't look back. I wasn't leaving my village so I had to play by the rules. Even if it killed me.

Out the corner of my eye I thought I saw another of my Sharingan wielders but when I turned my head no one was there to greet me. I shook my head believing it to be one of the lingering after affects of my addiction or rather kekkai genkai.

The receptionist smiled at me as I entered the hospital.

"It's good to have you back Miss Haruno."

"It's good to be back." I replied back unsure if I was serious or not.

Work was normal. I was overrun with patients but I was okay with that. It stopped me from thinking. I wanted to work until I dropped but I had made a promise to Naruto.

And good old Sakura always keeps her promises.

He was waiting for me outside the hospital when I got off.

"How was your day?" I had noticed that Naruto had become much more polite the closer I became to being 'normal'. I found that I didn't like it too much. The Naruto that man handled me and yelled at me seemed so much more real than the one who I was with now that politely asked me 'How was your day?' Or maybe I just like the drama.

"Busy, but good." I replied.

"Yeah, well I'm going to be heading out for a mission in the morning. I don't know how long I'll be gone so if you should need someone--"

"Naruto, I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me. I'm getting my kekkai genkai under control. I'm avoiding Kakashi until I've mastered it and there has been no sign of Itachi in the vicinity. I'll be _fine._ "

He looked as if he didn't believe me. I couldn't say that I blamed him.

"Okay Sakura, but just in case Shikamaru will be around."

I didn't reply as we reached the ramen shop. As he proceeded to stuff his face he filled the air with inane chatter. I partially tuned him out muttering an encouraging word every now and then. Loosing myself in my thoughts....

* * *

I opened the door to my apartment. I don't why I was surprised to see Sasuke sitting on my couch. I knew he would show up sooner or later. His feet were resting on my table and his hands were behind his head.

"It's about time you got home."

I stared at him flabbergasted until the blessed rage overtook me.

"You bastard! I'll kill you!" I lunged at him but found my fingers curled around a log not the neck that I longed to squeeze the life out of.

I turned to see that damnable smirk on his face. "I see you've discover the little present I left you. I will not allow another man to touch you Sakura."

"You had no right!"

"I have every right. You have chosen _me_ so you will have _me_ and me _only_."

"I have chosen no man."

"Oh? Tell me to leave then. Tell me you never want to see me again. Tell me you want me out of your life. Tell me…you don't love me."

Well, when put that way I couldn't utter a single word. Damned Uchiha.

He stalked closer to me and I found that because of the look in his eyes I couldn't move. I didn't want to. Rather, I wanted to be consumed, but even though I couldn't move my anger still wouldn't abate. I so hated contradicting myself.

"We had a legend in the Uchiha clan about how they used to pick a mate. A man would attempt to perform a jutsu on the woman that he felt would be a good wife for him. If another Uchiha was able to touch her intimately then she wasn't the one for him. The jutsu would have failed. Though if it did work, well, it is said that they would produce many strong sons."

I took a moment to chew on that before spitting it out venomously, "So what? I'm your breed horse? No thank you."

He continued on as if I hadn't spoken. "It was a practice that had all but died out before my parents died. I only tried it on you because it had been used on you before."

"What?!"

He walked over to me and lifted my right arm.

"Look at it." I looked down at my arm noticing for the first time that I had a bruise on it. I couldn't recall how I had come by it but it wasn't something I was overly worried about.

"It's just a bruise."

"Look closely."

I looked at the small bruise and noticed with quite a bit of surprise that it was in the shape of the Uchiha crest. My mouth dropped open.

"This is our mark of compatibility. Now look at your other arm."

I examined by other arm and saw another crest on it. The only difference between the two was that the crest was not whole. It appeared to be broken and it was fading away.

"This was here before I performed the jutsu." I looked at the broken Uchiha crest knowing it only meant one thing. Itachi had wanted me on a permanent basis.

My kekkai genkai must be something fiercely awesome to attract not one but _two_ Uchiha.

I looked at Sasuke."I don't know why you would do this. You've broken all ties with this village. You left with no plans to return. Why would you do this?" I said shoving my arm in his face. "Why would you taunt me so cruelly?"

Sasuke smirked and I snapped. I made an attempt to claw his eyes out but he subdued me easily.

"You've become rather feisty Sakura." Sasuke remarked. "I think I like it." His eyes dropped to my lips and lingered there. My breath quickened with excitement. His lips hovered in front of mine. Would he do it? Would I finally get to feel his lips against mine? Would this be the moment I had been waiting for? "Do you want me to kiss you Sakura?" I nodded my head. "Say it." He demanded.

"Kiss me." I whispered.

"Say please."

" _Please_." I begged.

"Now say it all together."

"Sasuke, please kiss-" Before I could finish my sentence I was thrown in a sea of passion drowning the bliss that was him.

He pulled away looking into my lust clouded eyes. I was surprised my knees had buckled but his next words gave me the strength to keep standing. "I'm leaving. I have a lead on the whereabouts of my brother."

"Sasuke going after him is suicide."

"Have you so little faith in me?" He asked his voice hardening. I swallowed the warnings that filled my throat. He turned away from me heading for the window and paused once he had opened it.

"Sakura, ask me to stay." I looked at his rigid stance and a bit of hope filled my heart.

"Stay." I said reaching out my hand to him. "Stay with me."

All the tension drained out of his shoulders but he still didn't turn to face me.

"No." He replied. I felt a dampness on my cheeks. My hand dropped to my side. "But I will return." Then he left me once more and I cried. I cried because he had left me. I cried because I couldn't have faith in him.

But mostly I just cried because for so long I couldn't.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	20. The Haruno Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What are you saying Sakura?"
> 
> "I'm saying you have a choice."

I put on my happy face for the next few days-even though it was false. It was almost surprising how easy it was. Like a mask that I was accustomed to wearing to hide myself from the world. Wait, I think I'm mixing myself up with Kakashi.

I felt like I did when Sasuke left the first time. The pain, anger, and depression enveloped me. I felt like I was regressing, and I didn't like being _her_ again.

I did my best to mask the pain that was so evident in my heart but a part of me was sure that my friends noticed it, but they just didn't mention it. And why should they? My pain wasn't hurting anyone but me. So they wore their own mask of make-believe so they could pretend that all was right in the world.

So of course the tears hadn't stopped falling and that was how he found me. My sheets were strewn every which where. I lay draped on my bed with tears streaming down my cheeks. I sensed immediately that I wasn't alone but I couldn't quite stop my tears.

"Why are you crying woman?"

I sniffled and choked back a sob before looking up into Itachi's eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He moved closer to me and inspected my face. I would have been embarrassed at him seeing my red rimmed eyes but I was too exhausted for that. I let him stare at my splotchy face and take in my sorrow since I couldn't hide it from him. He answered my question before I answered his which had I been thinking straight would have told me something but I was far too emotional to use logic."I've come for you."

"You're too late Itachi." I said rolling over and burying my face in my pillow.

"Don't turn your back on me!" He said harshly. At his harsh tone I rolled onto my back and looked at him. The anger I heard in his tone could not be seen on his face. It was like his face was carved in stone. A perfect picture for me to gaze upon. I wondered if it was a rare treat to hear such emotion from one of the gods of the shinobi world.

"It's broken Itachi."

"Explain yourself. I have no time for riddles." I held up my arm and let him examine the broken crest. He looked at it impassively. "This doesn't matter. You're still coming with me." I lifted my right arm and showed him the fully formed Uchiha crest on my right arm.

"It does matter." I said softly. He was quiet as he absorbed the implications of what the fully formed Uchiha crest on my arm meant.

"So it does.” His eyes locked with mine. “I suppose this means I'll have to kill him sooner than I intended."

My eyes widened in alarm. My heart stopped beating. Time stopped. Unknowingly, I activated my kekkai genkai.

"No Itachi. What I said before I meant. I don't want to live if he dies."

"Be careful. You might get what you wish."

I began to panic. I kept recalling how if I had not interfered in their fight, Itachi would have killed Sasuke. I quickly got off the bed and walked over to him. I dropped to my knees and bowed my head before him. Shame had no place in me that moment. Sasuke's life was on the line and I would do anything to make sure he lived.

"I beg of you. Spare his life." He reached out his hand and lifted my chin making me look into his eyes.

"There is only two ways that this can end. Either he dies or I do. Have I meant so little to you that you would give my life over his? What has he ever done but hurt you, woman?"

I stared at Itachi amazed at his words. It seemed as if he had feelings. Perhaps my theory had been correct about him.

"Nothing." I answered.

"And yet you still beg for his life?" He asked sounding puzzled. He lifted my wrist and pointed to the crest on my arm. "I can release you from this."

"What? I thought--"

"There is always a way out if you look for it."

"But why would you release me from this?" I looked down at the Uchiha crest.

"Because you are _my_ woman not _his."_

"I-"

"Do you deny this? Do you deny us?"

Now I was confused. What sort of relationship did he think we had? For that matter what kind of relationship did _I_ think we had? Yeah, lack of communication was so a bad thing. I didn't know what to do. I wanted...

I wanted love.

"Why shouldn't I deny this?" I said suddenly coming to a decision that was long in the making. I felt tired, angry and old. I was fed up with these men. "What's in this for me? Am I not just your pawn? Sasuke's pawn? Your tool to kill each other?" I rose to my feet squaring my shoulders, and looking into those lovely Sharingan eyes. "I wonder Itachi can you give me more than just your body? Can you give me your mind, body, and soul? That's what I want. I want everything."

I reached up and touched his cheek. He turned his face into my hand as if he were savoring my touch and something about that single action pierced my heart. "I won't lie to you Itachi. I want Sasuke. I love Sasuke but more than I love Sasuke I want to be loved in return. I don't know if Sasuke can do that. I don't know if you can do that. So yes, I am denying that I am your woman and I will until one of you can actually prove that you love me. You can remove this" I pointed to the crest. "but the most you'll ever have is my body. Do not think that means you will have my love or even my loyalty because I'm worth more than that. I will accept no less than what I want. I am demanding that I receive it."

Itachi's hand wrapped around my neck lifting me off the ground. I suppose he expected me to cower in fear but I was beyond fear. Sorry, but I had already looked death in the eye once and I didn't find it scary at all. Besides, he should have known by then that a threat on my life coming from him was more foreplay than anything else.

"Kill me." I taunted. "Kill me."

He saw that his actions did not bring about the desired affect so he set be back on my feet.

"You want love." He said the word love as if it were distasteful.

"I want someone who's first priority is me. Not revenge. Not some organization. Me. Call me selfish but I figure at this point I deserve to be."

"You ask for too much woman."

"Sakura. My name is Sakura. Use it."

He pulled me into his arms and I could tell he had every intention of kissing me. I raised my arm and pointed to the crest again. He frowned then performed a series of hand signs then touched the crest. A searing pain spread throughout my body. If he hadn't wrapped his arms around my body I would have fallen because of the agony that spread through me. When the pain subsided I noticed that he was watching me.

"I will think on what you have said but until I have come to a decision…"

He leaned down and captured my lips. Now, I was used to all consuming passion and fireworks in the arms of Itachi Uchiha but this was different. This was something that I was not quite used to. It was...

"Wonderful." I said when he pulled away. He made a move to leave but I stopped him.

"Oh no. You're not getting away that easily. From now on we're playing by my rules." I said leading him towards the bedroom.

It wasn't until after he had left my bed that I realized that I had activated my kekkai genkai. Already I could feel the changes in my attitude. That didn't bode well for me nor Kohona.

* * *

It seemed that the Uchiha brothers had a thing for nocturnal visits. Two weeks after I had my little visit with Itachi my beloved Sasuke showed up again. Unfortunately for him the affects of my kekkai genkai last for a while.

When I saw the open window I knew one of them where there. I considered just giving them a key and saving them the trouble but I wasn't feeling to inclined at the moment since I was less than happy with both of them.

"How did your Uchiha hunting go?" I asked knowing damn well he hadn't found Itachi. He was in the same position that I had found him last time. Feet on my table. Hands behind his head.

"Hn."

"Um-hmm. You know if you keep coming here eventually someone's going to find out."

"It won't be long before I deal with Itachi then I'll willingly come back."

I looked at him surprised. That was the last thing I expected to hear. "Oh? And you plan to pay for your crimes against the village."

"I'll do what I must."

"I'm glad to hear that Sasuke but you're probably not going to be happy with what I'm going to say now."

He frowned.

"What is it, Sakura?"

"Well, first off you should know. That I am not your damn property. If you ever try to bind me to you in some insane manner again then I will kill you the first opportunity I get."

"I thought you loved me." He said smirking not believing my words.

"What's love got to do with it? You took away my freedom. It's one thing for me to love you on my own it's quite another to take away all my options on a whim of yours. Never again Sasuke."

"And what are you going to do to stop me Sakura?"

I raised my arm and showed him the Uchiha crest had been removed. "I can remove it Sasuke and I will every time you do it. I am by no mean stupid and I will not allow you to treat me as such. Furthermore, I am not your girlfriend, your fiancé or your wife so don't think that you can waltz in here like you own the place. I can turn you in at any moment I chose so I suggest you remember that you are a guest in my home and keep your damn feet off my furniture.

And as far as you not letting another man have me well let me assure you that if you want me Sasuke Uchiha you're going to have to work for me because I'm not taking this garbage anymore.

If you want me then you need to know what it's going to take to get me. I want a man Sasuke. I want a man at my side. A man who loves me and who's not afraid to show it. A man who will put me _first._ I know Itachi killed your family. I'm sorry for that. I can't change it but I've told you this once and I'll tell you again. Killing him isn't going to make you happy. Killing him isn't going to bring them back.

You can walk out of here in an angry huff because I don't understand your pain and that's fine. You can go fulfill your desire for revenge and that's fine. Don't expect me to wait for you though because I have needs Sasuke. There are plenty of men out there willing to meet them if you won't.

I want love. I can't make you love me if you don't but I'm sure as hell am not sticking around if you won't."

He stared at me stunned but I didn't care I had put my foot down and I was not going to move it. This was too important for that. He slowly removed his feet from my table. Mentally, I patted myself on the back. He was trainable.

"What are you saying, Sakura?"

"I'm saying you have a choice. You've always had a choice but this time it's the choice of a lifetime. It's either me or Itachi."

I watched as a wave of emotions flickered over his face. I'm sure he couldn't believe that I was presenting him with a ultimatum. I was pretty sure he wasn't going to take it well. I expected him to blow up in my face. To walk out my apartment for good. I was prepared for that. Maybe if he just exploded then I could finally let go. I could finally move on.

I was kind of glad I didn't get what I expected.

 

 


	21. Not Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Leave and don't come back."

He stared at the woman before him. The woman who had just boldly given him a choice between his lifetime goal and his future. The moment the words left her mouth he knew that he hated her as much as he loved her.

Did she not understand why he _had_ to do this? People constantly thought it was for the revenge and to a degree it was. He also knew that if he didn't hunt Itachi then eventually Itachi would hunt him and everyone he cared about. He had already started with her. Itachi was using her to get to him. To break him. To make him weak.

He had already destroyed everything that he cared about once. He was unwilling to let him do it again.

"You have no right--"

"I have every right." She said mockingly. "You have chosen me and unless you want to lose me, like you have everything else, you'll act accordingly."

She put her hands on her hips and looked at him expectantly. He stared at her and couldn't believe how much she had changed. He never thought that she could be so demanding. Was this the Sakura Haruno that tapped on his last nerves only a few years ago?

"I'm waiting Sasuke."

"Are you always this unreasonable?"

"Only when I'm dealing with idiots."

He closed his eyes and counted to ten.

"Sakura, you don't understand. I _have_ to deal with Itachi. I _will_ deal with Itachi."

"Is that your final say?"

"It is."

He watched pain and anger flash across her delicate features until it finally settled on indifference.

"Remember that this was your decision." She said and advanced upon him. He stepped back not because he was intimidated but because he was curious about what she _thought_ she could do to him. She kept advancing until his back was up against the wall. Her hands ran over his exposed chest quickly removing the shirt.

"I thought you were done with me." He said smirking.

"I am." She replied. "To a degree." She said lowering her head to his chest and letting her tongue flicker across his nipple. A gasp escaped his throat and he watched a smile grace her lips.

Sakura hooked her finger into in his pants and lead him to her bedroom. She gave him a shove pushing him back on her bed. Her face was enigmatic and he found that he didn't like not knowing what was going through her mind.

"Sakura--"

"Why don't you do something you're good at Sasuke and shut up? I can handle this."

She removed his clothing until he lay naked before her. The look in her eyes was almost predatory and yet it didn't stop him from wanting her. She crawled slowly over his form still fully clothed. He didn't know where it had come from but she pulled out two scarves and tied them around his wrists and then to the bed.

"Be a good boy Sasuke and don't move."

He didn't like not being in control. It was not his way to let some woman...

The thought trailed off when he felt her tongue on the head of his shaft. His hips bucked and she pulled away and looked at him irritated.

"I said don't move Sasuke." Her tone indicated she was speaking to a recalcitrant child. His eyes narrowed. How could she test the limits of his restraint and demand that he be still for it? Her eyes glimmered in challenge that he couldn't help but accept. He could tell that she knew what he was thinking as a light smile played upon her lips and she murmured, “Good boy.”

She resumed her torture taking him into her mouth. He grit his teeth, shut his eyes, and held still while she explored his body with her mouth and hands. Just when he thought he could take no more she removed her mouth and moved away from him.

"Look at me Sasuke." He didn't know why he was obeying her every command but he found that he could do nothing but what she said. All that mattered at that moment was her and what she was doing to him. He opened his eyes to find her slowly removing her clothing.

He looked at her beautiful body as she ran her fingers over it as he wanted to. Her hands cupped her breasts and she ran her thumb back and forth across her nipples. They stood erect and begging for attention. His attention. He pulled at the scarves that bound him but she made a tsking sound that stilled his motions and made him focus on the show that was before him.

She ran her hands over her stomach and down to the pink curls nestled between her thighs. Going lower she slipped one of her fingers inside and began to pleasure herself. She threw her head back in exquisite delight.

Sakura waked over to him and took the finger that she had used to pleasure herself and hovered it above his lips.

"Open up love." She waited patiently. He obediently opened his mouth and licked her finger clean.

"More?" She inquired. He nodded his head quickly knowing she still didn't want him to speak. She climbed over him and presented him with her backside lowering her hips to his mouth. He tasted the juices that were flowing down her thighs then quickly brought his attention to her core. He wanted his hands free. There was so much more he could do with his hands free to touch her. He was about to tell her to free him when he once more felt her lips on him, shocking him into silence.

Thoroughly diverted he began to assault her body once more determined not to let her get the best of him. It wasn't hard to break her concentration. He captured the pearl between her thighs and began to suckle it bringing a scream from her mouth. A scream that he was quite pleased to hear.

" _Sasuke!"_

Her body collapsed on top of his. Her hips no longer hovered over his mouth but rested directly on it. He took it as an opportunity to continue teasing her.

" _No more Sasuke. No more."_ She said turning her body around. He watched as she tried to bring herself under control. Her eyes stared deeply into his before she leaned forward and kissed him. When she pulled back she raised her hips and sheathed him inside her.

She looked down at him. "I'm going do you a favor tonight Sasuke." He looked at her puzzled, aching to move his hips and force himself deeper inside her. "I'm going to bring you three times tonight." He mentally scoffed. What did she have a magic pussy? He let his disbelief show on his face.

She only smiled.

* * *

He appeared dazed after I had finished with him. I had expected him to remove the scarves after I brought him the third time but he looked like he was in another world. I realized that I probably shouldn't have slept with him but I just couldn't let him walk out of my life without having him at least once. It was a mistake because no one could ever compare to him. Worse yet, my stupid kekkai genkai activated as soon as I touched him. I never noticed it was on until after it was too late with one of my lovers. So, what personality trait would I derive from Sasuke?

"Sasuke I've been thinking." I started finally thinking of the words I knew I had to say. My heart ached and I thought it was so amazing that someone could be so close and yet so far away. "You've picked Itachi over me. I can accept that though I don't like it. I don't like it but I know you're not going to understand my point of you.

The only way we could ever make this work is if you let me in. Let me be a part of your life and stop trying to carry your burden alone. You have to show me your pain let me see it so I can help you. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make us work but I can't do it alone." I sighed believing that I truly wasn't getting through to him, and was really talking to myself rather than him.

"All that doesn't matter anyway. I just want you to know that after he dies you'll still hurt because even though he killed your family and he will have gotten the punishment he deserved," That is if he doesn't kill you instead. "in the end you have to forgive yourself."

"I didn't do anything. Why should I have to forgive myself?" His words startled me and I turned my head to look at him finding surprisingly that I had his undivided attention.

"You need to forgive yourself for not being able to save them. It doesn't make you any less of a person. All this hate you carry around is going to drive you insane. Let it go and learn to love yourself—faults, scars and all because you'll never be able to fully give yourself to another person until you learn love yourself." He didn't reply--not that I expected him to. "It's time for you to leave Sasuke." I reached up and untied his binds. He rose slowly from the bed and stared down at me. I couldn't meet his gaze. I knew if I so much as glanced at him I'd break and I couldn't do that. He had made his choice and so I had made mine.

"Sakura--"

"Leave and don't come back." I said forcefully. I sensed him standing there waiting for me to take my words back but I wouldn't. It was a long time before I heard him pick up his clothes and put them on.

* * *

"Leave and don't come back." He started to argue but thought better of it. Arguing wasn't him and he had no intention of changing who he was. He picked up his clothes and put them on.

He started to leave the room of the woman that had just given him a night he knew he'd never forget. He paused feeling that he was about to make a mistake. That he was going to lose something too important to throw away.  But he couldn't just let Itachi get away with what he had done...not even for her.

"For what it's worth Sakura, I do love you. Maybe not the way you want but still I love you with what I am capable of."

He waited for a reply.

"That's not enough Sasuke. It's just not enough."

He left her behind and went in search of his brother but it didn't take him long to realize that he had made the wrong choice.

 

 


	22. Journey to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You shouldn't be here."

 

I rubbed my bleary eyes and looked around my bedroom. Light streamed in from my window reminding me that it was time to start my day. I turned towards it looking out noting that it was beautiful. Birds were chirping and the sky was a brilliant blue. It was the perfect day to be happy. It was a shame that I wasn't.

I swung my feet off the bed and onto the floor. I felt tears threaten to fall as my mind recalled Sasuke's decision. I pushed them back with mild irritation at the fact that I allowed them to appear in the first place. I was wearing my heart on my damned sleeve again. That probably meant I was overdue for an Itachi visit.

Standing, I made my way to the shower but paused when I heard a knock on my door. I frowned. It had been a while since anyone knocked on my door. My nocturnal visitors always came in via window. I had been forced to give Naruto and Shikamaru a key since my recent behavior had become 'abnormal'. Actually, they probably just needed to be able to sneak in quietly so they could catch me in the act so to speak. Those were the only people who came to see me since my return to the village. My behavior had pretty much alienated everyone else.

"Coming." I called out.

I probably should have rushed to the door since it was rude to leave people standing outside. Seeming as though it was probably someone with some annoying sort of news, I didn't feel inclined to go running to the door. Instead, I walked into the bathroom brushed my teeth and washed my face. I leaned my face down into the sink to spit and when I straightened I saw another reflection in the mirror.

I paused staring at him for a moment wondering whether or not he was some sort of apparition. When he didn't immediately disappear I asked, "What are you doing here?"

He leaned in my door frame lazily surveying my body. I felt heat surge through my loins. It was rare for him to readily admit with his eyes that he desired me. He was always constantly fighting himself. A small part of me felt bad on his behalf.

"You shouldn't be here."

He ignored my words. His arms reached out and pulled me into them. My back was secure against his lean frame and I felt a lot of the tension that was in my body ease out. I wasn't sure why that was. Maybe it was because I had been forced to trust him with my entire being and now knew that he would never deliberately hurt me.

"A lot of people that shouldn't be here, have been." Came his reply.

I looked into his eye through my mirror and he stared back at me solemnly. It was as if he were waiting for something. I broke eye contact and stared down at the rugs on my floor. They had suddenly become fascinating. I decided to try once more to get him to leave.

"Kakashi, I do not have control of my kekkai genkai. Whenever you are near it automatically activates. I don't know how to stop it. Even now--

"Did Itachi remove the jutsu from you?"

I sighed. "He did."

He said nothing after that. He just held me in his arms and suddenly I was grateful for his presence. I didn't want to be alone. Not then.

Then the unexpected happened. The dam broke and the floodgates of tears cascaded down my cheeks. My shoulders shook and my eyes turned red and puffy. Through it all, Kakashi's arms tightened around me giving me the security that I needed.

He lifted me into his arms and carried me out of my bedroom and into my living room. I buried my face in his armpit inhaling his scent while trying to calm down. He held me close to his body as he sat down on the couch. I clutched his shirt and moved as close to him as was humanly possible. He didn't seem to mind and he would never know how grateful I was for that.

"Tell me."

He said the words with a calmness that almost broke me down more. I raised my head from where it was buried.

"Sasuke." I said. I watched as understanding dawned on him and something akin to pity shone in his eyes. It was that pity that allowed me to pull myself together.

"Sakura." He said the sadness permeating his tone. "Just let him go."

"I have. I'm done with Sasuke Uchiha. These are the last tears that I will ever cry over him."

Somehow I knew that he didn't approve of my words. I didn't know whether that meant he wanted me to continue pining after Sasuke or what but I didn't care. I was done with that part of my life.

"You know Sakura, there is no shame in loving someone."

"I know. The shame lies in continuing to love someone who will never love you back."

"No, there's no shame in that either."

His gaze was so sad and so forlorn that I was taken aback. "Kakashi, I--

"It's okay Sakura. I understand."

Maybe he did but I didn't. Why is it that I wanted all the wrong men? Here Kakashi was, holding me, comforting me, loving me and I couldn't love him back. Yes, I desired him. Who wouldn't? But love eluded me. My life would have been so simple if I just loved him and forgot about Sasuke and Itachi but it was something about those Uchiha men that had my destruction written all over them.

"It's not okay Kakashi. You're talking to the one person who knows how you feel. It's not okay."

"Sakura, all I want is for you to be happy. I can live with just the thought of you being happy." I wasn't happy though. Far from it. It seemed as though my world was getting darker. Sunshine and rainbows eluded me. The world was a dull gray and quickly turning black. "You're focusing to much on the negative Sakura. Sasuke will never be the man you want him to be--not until he's ready at least. Don't try to change him. You'll only end up hurting yourself. Let it be. If he's meant to be yours then he will be."

"And what of Itachi?"

He looked at me puzzled. I realized then my blunder. Well, if I was going to tell him part of it I might as well tell it all.

"What about Itachi?"

"He wants me to come with him. He wants me to be with him."

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't know."

And I didn't. I was so confused and scared that I was going to use Itachi as a replacement for Sasuke. That would be wrong...and difficult since Itachi was nothing like Sasuke. If I even attempted that I had a feeling I'd end up more hurt than Itachi.

"Sakura, part of the problem is that you don't know who you are. How can you fully ascertain what it is that you desire if you don't know you?"

He was right to a degree. There was this dark side of myself that is fairly new to me that I was unfamiliar with.

"What do you suggest?"

"I think you need to go to Tsunade and request a sabbatical. Time for just you. No Sasuke. No Itachi. No me. Just you. Figure out who you are and make yourself stronger not physically, but mentally."

I looked at him frightened. He wanted me to go alone? Sure, I had left the village before but it was with the knowledge in the back of my mind that Itachi would find me. I would never truly be alone. This was something entirely different. He was telling me to have Itachi stop tracking me. In essence, he was telling me to be my own person independent of the men in my life.

Well, hell.

"You've spent so much of your life disliking yourself because in your mind you were weak. When Sasuke left you trained to become a strong kunoichi and you succeeded. You are a powerful woman, feared by some. The problem is you don't believe it and it shows. You have difficulty controlling your kekkai genkai. That's because your mind is constantly at war with itself. For so long you've had the mind of prey but the soul of a predator. You need to figure out how to eliminate the 'prey' that's written on your forehead, or how to combine the two qualities in yourself."

I knew he was right. Of course he was right he was my former sensei and well aware of my weaknesses. Still….

"Why can't you come with me? Train me and the like?"

"You know Lady Tsunade would never allow me to come with you and you know why. If she even knew I was here now there would be hell to pay. Regardless, this is something you need to do alone. It's the only way you'll succeed."

I lay my head on his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. He seemed so sure that this was the right course for me and I knew he'd never steer me wrong.

"What will you do while I'm gone?"

"The usual stuff missions, reading." He said so softly I almost didn't hear him. "Learning how to live without you."

My heart hurt a little at his words. I guess we all have our own pain to deal with. I just never thought that I'd be the one to inflict this kind of pain of one of the people I respected the most.

"Kakashi." I said tilting my head up waiting. He didn't disappoint, because his lips met mine.

* * *

"I'm busy Sakura. Can't this wait?"

I looked at the stacks of paper that covered her desk, took in the irritated look on her face and pulled out a bottle of sake.

"I come with a peace offering." She eyed me warily but she looked at the sake hungrily.

"Well, bring it over." She said impatiently. I walked over and searched her room for the glasses I knew she had hidden then poured the sake for both of us.

She took a sip of the sake after I had handed it to her then let out a little sigh. "So what do you want Sakura?"

I took my own drink preparing myself for the battle that I knew was ahead.

"Your permission to take a sabbatical."

"On your own? That's out of the question. You're a flight risk."

"I'll be a flight risk whether I stay or leave. If you let me go willingly then I will return."

"Is that a threat because I'll have ANBU glued to you night and day if I have to."

"I wouldn't dream of threatening you master. I'm just trying to explain that I will never get a hold of my problem here in this village. I know everyone wants to help me but you're only hindering me. My problem is something that I have to deal with on my own. Only I can fix me. Not you. Not Naruto. Not Kurenai. Just me."

I looked at her pleadingly and she returned it with one of sadness. I had a feeling that I was reaching her and I knew for certain when she said, "How long, Sakura?"

"As long as it takes."

She stared at me silently for so long that I had to fight not to fidget. I barely managed it.

"So be it Sakura. You should know you have a five year maximum. If you have not returned by then I will send ANBU to hunt you down like a dog."

I nodded my head. "Agreed."

"And you need to send letters. There are a lot of people here who care about you. We'll need to know how you're getting along."

I watched as her eyes watered and I felt sad knowing that leaving would hurt her. She then proceeded to show me a jutsu that would allow me to send letters to whatever shinobi I wished.

"Be careful Sakura." She said after I had perfected the jutsu. "And come home."

So I left her office and went home to gather my belongings so that I could begin my journey.

My journey to me.

 


	23. Dear You,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all this time she loved him still.

 

_Date: Pre-departure_

_Dear Naruto,_

_I'll be gone by the time you read this. I tried to find you only to realize you were on a mission. I'm surprised you didn't tell me. It must have been really last minute. You're probably angry that I didn't say goodbye and I'm sorry for that. I'm truly not sure that I would have even if you were here. You would have tried to convince me to stay and I couldn't let you do that. Naruto, I had to leave the village. I had to figure out what to do with myself. I'm so unhappy Naruto. Sometimes I just wish I could die. You know things had to be getting pretty bad if I could wish for death. So because of this and a few other things I've been grated permission to go find myself._

_I know what you're thinking, so stop it. You couldn't help me. You can't solve everyone's problems Naruto. I'm a grown woman. If I needed your help, I would ask. I'll be fine. Don't worry so much. I'll be home before you know it. I'll write occasionally to let you know how I am. Again, don't worry. I'll be FINE._

_Love always,_

_Sakura_

  
  


_**Date: Upon arrival from said mission** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**I worry about you Sakura. I can't help it. It's my job to protect you. How can I do that if you're not here? All I want is you safe and happy. Come home.** _

_**Naruto** _

  
  


  
  


_Date: Pre-departure_

_Dear Itachi,_

_I know I left before you made your decision about what you wanted to do about us. My apologies for that. I'm leaving the village for a while. I just want you to know that I will return. We'll work on us when I return if that is what you still want. I have not abandoned you. And please Itachi, don't search for me. I need some time alone._

_Sakura_

  
  


  
  


_**Date: 3 days post departure** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

Itachi balled up the paper he had been writing on and threw it in the trash.

  
  


_Date: 3 mo. Post departure_

_Dear Kakashi,_

_I hate you for convincing me to do this. I don't like being alone. I don't like being without you, without Itachi. Without HIM. I don't like me without the influence of any of you. I want to come home._

_I hate you, but what I hate the most though is the look of disappointment I'd see on your face if I gave up and came home._

_Lonely,_

_Sakura_

  
  


_**Date: Upon receiving** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**You'll be fine. You won't disappoint me. Focus on the reason you left. It'll work out in the end. I believe in you. Doing well on the home front. Naruto misses you terribly. Shikamaru sends his regards.** _

_**Sakura I ~~love~~ miss you.** _

  
  


_**-K** _

  
  


_Date: 6 mo. Post departure_

_Dear Lady Tsunade,_

_I've seen many things. I've done many things. I'm becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin. That's necessary for controlling my kekkai genkai, right?_

_Doing well. No worries._

_Your apprentice,_

_Sakura_

  
  


_**Date: While avoiding paperwork** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**That's good. Great actually. Accept who you are now so that you can embrace who you'll become.** _

_**Tsunade** _

  
  


_Date: 8 mo. Post departure_

_Dear Kakashi,_

_I saw this guy who looks just like Haku. Should I follow him? If he is Haku do you think he'd remember me? Maybe not since all anyone ever really remembers are the three of you. Should I approach him?_

  
  


_**Date: After finishing new Icha Icha volume** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**~~I couldn't forget you even if I tried.~~ ** _

  
  


Kakashi stares at the letter that he has written before slowly folding it in half and tucking it away so that it would never been seen by anyone.

  
  


  
  


_Date: 10 mo. Post departure_

_Dear Lady Tsunade,_

_In this little journey to me I have discovered that I love pretty, pretty men. They're like jewelry to collect and show off to others. No, just kidding. (Only a little though)_

_Sakura_

  
  


_**Date: 3 days after letter was received** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**I used to be jealous of Orochimaru when I was younger. He had the darkest most beautiful hair that I had ever seen. It gleamed and shimmered and he barely maintained it. However, not only his hair was beautiful. He was beautiful. His skin was pale and smooth. His body was strong and lithe. And his eyes...** _

_**I could have loved him, I think, if it hadn't been for Dan coming into my life when he did. I was fortunate.** _

_**Sakura a pretty face doesn't always mean a person is good. Be careful. Some men are very good at deception. This isn't something I want you to learn the hard way.** _

_**Tsunade** _

  
  


_Date: 1yr. Post departure_

_Dear Naruto,_

_Naruto, I haven't felt this good in what seems like forever. I think I'm…dare I say it? Happy! I never thought I'd feel this way again. I'm staying in a little village far from home and Naruto, it's beautiful here. There's a beach nearby and the sand is green. Green! Isn't that odd? But I love it. Just staring out at the water brings a peace that is unbelievable. I think I'm going to say here for a while. I've made some progress on my training. I think it's because my mind is so clear._

_I miss you. Have I ever said thank you for you always being there for me? You're my rock Naruto. Remember that._

_Love always,_

_Sakura_

  
  


  
  


_**Date: After finishing ramen** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**Thank me? That's what friends are for Sakura. Green sand? Sounds cool. Not as cool as you coming home though. I miss you too. Come home.** _

_**Naruto** _

  
  


_Date: 1 yr. 1 mo. Post departure_

_Dear Kakashi,_

_Either I'm hallucinating or just going plain crazy but yesterday and this morning I could have sworn I saw Itachi. I swear I'll never smoke that stuff again._

_Sakura_

  
  


Kakashi chuckles at the inside joke and shakes his head while reading the letter and doesn't bother to reply.

  
  


_Date: 1yr 3 mo. Post departure._

_Dear Kakashi,_

_Itachi came for me. I expected him so long ago. He was as beautiful as I remembered. He threatened to drag me back home if I didn't come willingly. I told him I wasn't quite ready to return and you know what? He listened. He stayed with me for a few days. I was glad for his company even though he didn't talk much._

_The most surprising thing though is that I didn't sleep with him. Am I getting better? I think he plans on visiting me off and on. He's started doing that creepy but cute find me wherever I am thing. Oh well, I'm not too worried about it. It'll work out in the end like you said you know? By the way, training is going superbly. I am one hot kunoichi!_

_Love,_

_Sakura_

_P. S. Maybe it wasn't that stuff after all._

  
  


_**Date: 1yr 3 1/2mo. Post departure** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**There's something you should know** _

  
  


Kakashi balled up his paper then threw it in the trash.

  
  


_Date: 1 yr. 5 mo. Post departure_

_Dear Lady Tsunade,_

_The Kazekage is one odd duck. He made a clone of himself and sent it on vacation. We had tea together. Perhaps you should consider doing the same? I'm sure you could use a break. You're overworked yourself. You should consider visiting. Tell me, what is the probability of being able of being able to take in the chakra of several enemies without killing yourself from an overload?_

_Your devoted student,_

_Sakura_

  
  


Tsunade stared at the letter she had just received and frowned. As much as she wanted Sakura home now was really not a good time. As much as she wanted her by her side... Tsunade took a deep breath and made a decision.

  
  


_**Date: Upon receiving** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**You seem so happy now that you are gone. I'm just writing to let you know I'm lifting the five year time limit that I have set upon you. Come home whenever you wish. If you wish to at all.** _

_**By the way, You have to train to be able to contain great amounts of chakra. If you try to do it suddenly, with no training, then most assuredly you will die. Accustom yourself to holding a little at a time and build up from there.** _

_**Your proud teacher,** _

_**Tsunade** _

  
  


  
  


_Date: 1 yr. 6 mo. Post departure._

_Dear Kakashi,_

_Itachi has sent members of the Akatsuki to 'watch over me'. What is he worried about? I'm a strong and capable kunoichi. I can take care of myself! Those guys creep me out. Well, only one of them. Kisame. I believe you've met him before. You know, big guy, blue skin, scary as hell. I think he's still holding a grudge because I entrapped him in the earth this one time. It wasn't my fault he was dumb enough to get caught! He licks his lips when he's in the room with me. I think he wants to eat me._

_Deidara, he's this freaky artist guy. He reminds me of someone. I can't quite place who yet. Anyway, he's actually a good conversationalist. Truly though, I just want them gone. They're eating all my food. What is it with men and big appetites? Should I feel comfortable with criminals? I don't know. I don't think this was what you meant by finding myself. I'm going to talk to Itachi about this._

_Searching for a way to escape the Akatsuki,_

_Sakura_

  
  


  
  


_**Date: One week after receiving** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**Are you in love with Itachi?** _

_**-K** _

  
  


_Date: 1 yr. 8 mo. Post departure._

_Dear Naruto,_

_Naruto, it's been quite an adventure for me. I've met so many people and made some new friends. Though no one can replace you. I still don't know when I'll be home. It should be fairly soon though. I think I'm becoming a bit homesick._

_Love,_

_Sakura_

  
  


_**Date: After lunch with a friend** _

_**Dear Sakura,** _

_**Don't rush home on our account. Be happy. We love you.** _

_**Naruto** _

  
  


_Date: 2 yrs. Post departure_

_Dear Kakashi,_

_Isn't it funny? After all this time I love Sasuke still._

_I understand my kekkai genkai. I can control it. I'm coming home._

_Sakura_

  
  


Kakashi looked down at the letter in his hand. Worry for his former lover crossed his features. He stood up and immediately went to the Hokage.

 


	24. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm saying stay with me."

Snow blanketed the earth for as far as I could see. It was beautiful sight. Winter had always been my favorite season. The white that covered the ground made everything look so pure, so innocent. Even though it was cold it made me feel like I was alive. All too soon the gates of Konoha were in my eyesight. It would not be much further now. A smile graced my lips as every step brought me closer. I turned to my companion.

"You should really leave now."

"Perhaps." He said. He put down the bags he had been carrying and pulled me into his arms lightly kissing my lips. "You stand out in that cloak. I want to make sure you make it home safe."

I frowned at him. He was the one who insisted that I wear the thing. Don't get me wrong. It was a beautiful cloak. It was a scarlet cloak that fell to my ankles. It was made of velvet and trimmed with white cherry blossoms. He had wanted me to wear the Akatsuki cloak but I refused so he had this one especially made for me. I was glad he had the foresight to have them put a hood on it. My ears were really cold. While I loved the winter it was no fun walking home in the cold.

"You bought it for me. It's your fault I'm a walking target."

He shrugged. "If you just wore the Akatsuki cloak it wouldn't have been a problem. No one would dare to attack you then."

"Yeah and I'd be branded a traitor by my village." Of course, that could happen just by my association with him but I disregarded that information.

"What is your point?"

I hit his arm playfully. "Oh, be quiet." I watched as Itachi bent down to pick up my belongings. I leaned down and made a snowball quickly throwing it at his head. I truly didn't expect to hit my target, but I did. Itachi turned around and gave me a dangerous look. I involuntarily took a step back.

"Now Itachi, let's not get hasty." He slowly bent down to make a snowball of his own. "Itachi, can we talk about it?" I yelped when he started running towards me causing me to turn tail and run. Laughter bubbled up in my throat and spilled outward.

He caught me easily, sweeping me up into his arms. How he managed to keep a hold of me and that snowball I'll never know. "Now tell me, why I shouldn't put this snowball down your sweater?"

I gave him my best Puss in Boots look. "Not good enough." He replied. I laughed as he struggled to pry open my cloak and go for my sweater while holding me and the snowball. "Itachi!, Itachi please. I'm sorry. I'll be good. I promise."

At my promise he dropped the snowball on the ground. "Good." He said lowering me to my feet. He once again went to pick up my stuff and honestly I couldn't resist. I made another snowball.

* * *

Half an hour later I begged for a truce.

I looked around the area suddenly worried. He truly needed to head back out of Leaf territory. I didn't know what I would do if he was captured.

"Itachi, seriously, ANBU patrol this area. I'm surprised we haven't come across one. You should get going."

"Do you really want to go back?" I knew why he was asked that question. We had spent so much time together towards the end. We had become so much closer. When we were together there was no Konoha. No Akatsuki. Just us. Itachi and Sakura. I didn't regret a second of our time together and yet...

"This is my home Itachi."

"We could make a new home."

I blinked surprised. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying stay with me."

My mouth dropped open and my my eyes grew large. Was he serious? I didn't know what to say and I certainly didn't know what to think.

"Sakura." He said prompting an answer. Sasuke floated through my mind causing my hesitation. "You still love him don't you?" You know, sometimes it was just annoying that he seemed to know what I was thinking. "After all this time he still comes before me." There was no bitterness in his tone. Just cold fact. I just stared at him because I wasn't going to lie. I had stopped fighting my feelings for Sasuke. They were still there. I was hoping that since I had stopped fighting it and just accepted it they would fade away. No such luck. "You know Sakura there are women that would kill to be with me."

I smirked. "I'm sure there are but because they'd be such a major nuisance you'd end up killing them. I truly have no desire to be that girl."

"Be that as it may," I broke into a full fledged smile because he didn't deny my claim. "Sakura!" He said coldly because I couldn't stop smiling at him.

"I'm listening Itachi." Wiping the smile from my face and giving him my full attention.

"Damn you, Sakura. I wish I could kill you too."

"I'm sorry you can't Itachi." I said smiling once more.

"Wench." He muttered and drew me closer to him. I was surprised that he was being so patient with me. I truly didn't think I deserved it but, I wasn't going to fight about it. The truth was I loved having Itachi around. He was a cold-hearted bastard most times but I loved to chip away the ice around his heart. Did I love him? It was a question I wasn't ready to ask myself.

He stiffened. I felt three chakra presences approaching us rapidly.

"I must go." He raised a hand lightly and trailed it down my cheek and then he was gone. I sighed, missing him already.

"Halt! Identify yourself."

I remembered then that the cloak was covering my hair.

"Sakura Haruno. Home from my sabbatical."

One of the ANBU let out and yell and grabbed me and hugged me tight. I was stiff in his arms. Actually the whole situation was kind of awkward.

"Can you let me go please?" I said bewildered. The ANBU released me and lifted his mask to reveal blue eyes and a devilish When had he become ANBU?

"Naruto!" I yelled and threw myself at him. The hood of my cloak flew back revealing….

"Sakura, you hair!" I remembered then. I ran my hand over my hair self-consciously.

"You like it?" I said turning in a full circle. I had cut my hair off. Shorter than I had ever worn it, with pleasing results. I wore it curly now and it was no longer than my pinky finger.

"You look hot!" He said and I smiled at his emphatic statement.

"Thank you."

The two other ANBU raised their masks. I saw Ino first. Her eyes held tears in them that moved me more than I could ever say. I went to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"I didn't think you were coming back." She sobbed.

"Where would I go? This is my home." Suddenly Itachi's words came flooding back into my mind. What did he mean?

"Can we head back?" Shikamaru asked in a bored tone. "It's cold out here."

"Right after you give me a hug Shika." I said smiling. He let out a sigh and moved closer to me. I wrapped my arms around him soon scrunching up my nose when something wet hit it. I looked up into the sky and saw that it had started snowing again.

"Trust you to pick this time of year to return home. Troublesome woman."

I grinned, tilted my head back and stretched my arms out letting the snow hit my face.

"It's so good to be home!" I yelled. "Let's go people!" We all gathered my belongings then proceeded to run towards the Konoha gates.

* * *

"You can stay with me since all your stuff is in my apartment." I gave him a grateful look glad he had moved all my stuff out for me. I had left a bit abruptly and the details like storage had slipped my mind.

"Thanks." The four of us entered his apartment. I removed my cloak and went to hang it in a closet. I ran my hand over the material thinking of Itachi and of his beautiful eyes as he asked me to stay at his side. I shook my head of the reverie and went to go join my friends who were all staring at me strange since the second I entered the room.

"What?" I asked.

"What's with the clothes?" Shikamaru asked curiously.

I looked down. I couldn't blame Itachi for the clothes. That was all me. I wore black pants that had my body in a bear hug. I had on black leather boots that came above my knees. Hooker boots, as Itachi fondly called them. I also wore a white turtleneck sweater. The Haruno symbol was on my back in the usual pink. Although Itachi argued that it should be red. Why he liked me in red so much I didn't know.

"I like the look." I replied. I made my way to sit down so I could rest my feet because I was tired of standing. "So, I thought you guys were on patrol? Why are you still hanging around?"

Ino spoke up. "We aren't actually ANBU. We were actually just on patrol looking for you. Ever since we heard you were coming home Tsunade had us patrol the area looking for you." That still didn't explain why they were wearing ANBU gear but I figured if they wanted me to know they'd tell me.

"Did she miss me much?" I asked of Tsunade. Naruto sat down on the couch beside me throwing an arm around me and pulling me close. I allowed it with a grin.

"She was impossible when you first left." Shikamaru proclaimed.

"I heard Shizune swear like a sailor since she was driving her so crazy." Ino piped up. I nodded knowing that after my visit with them I needed to go see her.

"So what's new?" I asked. The room suddenly became quiet. It was then that I realized that something was going on. Maybe the atmosphere had been tense the whole time and I was just so excited about being home that I automatically disregarded it.

"I'm engaged." Ino said holding up her hand and showing off her ring.

"Congratulations!" I exclaimed. I turned my head and looked at Shikamaru who held up his hands.

"It wasn't me!" He said earning him a smack on the head.

"Well, who then?"

She grinned. "Actually, it's Kiba." My mouth dropped open. That was certainly unexpected. I hadn't even realized that the two knew they were on the same planet.

"Are you serious?" She nodded. "Well, okay then. I'm so happy for you."

"What about you? Come across any hot guys?"

"Yeah, I did." I smiled thinking of Itachi. Yes, I had Itachi on the brain and I was by no means ashamed. Naruto interrupted.

"I really don't want to hear you girls drooling over men unless it's me of course." I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up Naruto." I stood up. "Come on let's go see the Hokage."

* * *

I knocked on the door.

"What is it?" She barked. I opened the door and stepped in. Her head was bent over her desk and she looked like for once she was focused on actually getting her work done. I probably shouldn't be interrupting her.

"Is now not a good time?" The Hokage's head snapped upwards and her eyes lit up. She stood up and I walked over to her and threw myself into her arms. We cried and we laughed. We tried to talk over each other. The first thing I understood her say was,

"You certainly don't look like the crazed girl that left here over a year ago." I glanced around the room and noticed that my three companions didn't come into the room with me. I wasn't bothered by it though. I wanted some time alone with Lady Tsunade.

“Of course not. I was serious about pulling myself together. I really didn't want to be a liability to my friends and family.” Tsunade smiled and nodded.

"And you cut your hair!" I shrugged.

"Yeah, I was going for a change."

"You certainly accomplished it. I like it. You look so grown, and happy."

"I am. Thank you, for letting me leave."

"If I had know it would produce this kind of results I would have done so sooner.”

I laughed. "Now tell me, do you have control of your kekkai genkai?"

"I do."

"Good. Tell me how it works in detail."

* * *

When I walked out the Hokage's office Naruto was waiting for me.

"Naruto, you didn't have to wait. I can make it back on my own."

"I know but it's been two years." I smiled knowingly.

"So tell me, how is Kakashi?"

"He's doing well." Naruto grinned. "He has a girlfriend."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Who?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. You'll have to see for yourself."

I smiled glad he had moved on with his life. There was something in some of the letters that he had sent me that made me think he was still clinging to the notion of us being together much like I still clung to--

"Is he happy Naruto?"

"Happier than I've seen him in a long time."

"Good." I replied. "Let's go home."

I pulled my cloak over my head and we walked home. Naruto opened the door and my eyes landed immediately on an uninvited guest.

"It seems like news travels fast." I said looking at Kakashi.

"Welcome home Sakura. I trust your trip was pleasant."

"Kakashi get your scrawny behind over here and give me a hug." His eye creased as he walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me squeezing me fiercely. After a moment or two I pulled back out of his arms.

"Nice cloak."

"Thanks, a friend bought it for me."

He looked at me sharply. I knew it would only take mere seconds for him to figure out who the friend was that had given it to me and yet I still looked back at him innocently. He abruptly laughed.

"You know, for a minute there I almost believed you had behaved yourself."

"I did." I said pouting prettily. He just laughed harder. I smiled at him knowing that Naruto was looking back and forth between us confused. I didn't expect Naruto to ever understand the dynamics of my relationship with Kakashi. We had become something more than teacher and student, something other than lovers, something that surpassed friendship. What we were couldn't be defined and I was glad of that.

"Mmm-hmm. Whatever Sakura."

We all made ourselves comfortable. I expected Kakashi to make some comment about my new look but he didn't. He did smile when he saw it so I took that to mean he liked it.

His face grew gravely serious almost immediately after he sat down.

"Sakura," he began. "there's something you need to know." Naruto drew my hand in his. I squeezed it becoming worried about what they were about to tell me. I looked back and forth between the two of them suddenly seriously frightened. It had to be something bad, terrible even to cause the look on their faces. Panic welled up in my chest and just as I was about to shout at them to tell me what was going on...they did.

"Sasuke came back to the village. He's home."

I stared at the two of them dumbfounded. Sasuke? Home?

 


	25. The Results of Carelessness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing could prepare me for the horror of the scene that greeted me.

They were both looking at me as if they expected me to break at any moment. I mean really. What was the point of being gone for all this time if I couldn't handle the news of something as simple as Sasuke being home? Sure I was surprised but they probably had been as well when he showed up.

"How long has he been back?" I asked curiously.

"You had been gone over a year when he came back." Kakashi replied.

"I see. Is that all?"

Kakashi and Naruto shared a look. I barely restrained myself from rolling my eyes.

"Guys. It's okay. I can handle Sasuke being home. I'm fine." I was not fragile damn it! And I was actually getting pissed that they thought I was.

Naruto began hesitatingly, "It's not that Sakura. It's--"

Kakashi interrupted. I was truly wishing they'd just get to the point. It couldn't be that serious. "When he came home he wasn't…the same."

I knew what a cold-hearted bastard Sasuke had become. Hell, he left me so he could kill his brother. Of course he wasn't the same. So what was the point? I began to impatiently tapping my foot as murder and mayhem danced in my eyes.

"Really guys, what is the point of all the dramatics?"

"Sasuke, came home with a broken mind." Kakashi explained. Naruto held my hand tighter.

There was a brief pause before I shouted, "What the hell do you mean by a broken mind?"

"We don't know what happened. He just showed up here unable to communicate."

"So, he's mute."

Naruto shook his head. "It's more than that." His hand began to squeeze mine tighter. "Sometimes he's silent and other times all he does is scream. I've never seen him like this. I'd prefer him trying to kill me than this. And his body…" He trailed off a look of horror in his eyes. That look actually made my heart begin to pound fiercely.

So I asked the obvious question. "If he's this bad then why hasn't Tsunade healed him?"

"She tried."

My eyes narrowed on Kakashi. "Tried?"

"She couldn't." That was unacceptable. I had heard enough so I stood.

"Take me to him."

"That's not a good idea Sakura." Kakashi said. I gave him a look full of indignation, anger, and deadliness.

"Do not presume to make decisions for me Kakashi. Do as I say, not as you think you should do."

The stunned look on his face would have amused me if not for the current situation. "Naruto, take me to him." Naruto immediately stood up and lead me out the room while Kakashi trailed in our wake.

  
  


  
  


I don't know what I expected when I walked into his room. But nothing could prepare me for the horror of the scene that greeted me.

Sasuke was on a hospital bed in restraints. There were two medics in the room trying to heal him physically. His skin looked like it was being burned away slowly. As soon as they healed him in one area it would begin to deteriorate again. He was straining against the straps as if what they were doing was hurting him. His mouth was thrown open in a soundless scream.

He was horribly disfigured. The left side of his face was the worst. The skin was gone on his cheeks and the muscle was exposed for all to see. If it wasn't for the hair I don't think I would have recognized him. A normal person would have been dead by then but not Sasuke. I wanted to cry for him but tears were not a luxury I could afford at the moment.

"Step away from him." I commanded. The two medics looked up at me.

"Haruno." One medic uttered surprise etched on his face. I guess not everyone knew that I had returned.

"I said step away from him." My tone booked no room for argument. They backed away quickly. Not quick enough for my taste but still…. I walked over and looked down at Sasuke's body. I recognized what was happening to him. I had seen it before, just not this advanced.

"I want everyone out of this room." One of the medics opened his mouth to argue but one look at his face had him rushing out the room undoubtedly to go get Lady Tsunade. Everyone began filing out Naruto and Kakashi included. "No, Naruto. You stay. I'm going to need your help." I met Kakashi's eyes briefly and knew he was silently asking me if I wanted him to stay but I shook my head becaue he would only have questions that I wouldn't have the strength to answer.

Naruto immediately made his way back into the room and to my side. I smiled inwardly. I was fortunate to have Naurto as a friend. He was always at my back ready to help when needed. When the door closed I looked down at Sasuke's face.

"Sasuke." I called out. His eyes remained unfocused and cloudy but his mind was not broken. He had too much anger, too much hate in him to let anything take him down easily. No, Sasuke was not a man who could be broken. He had probably just separated his mind from his body in order to endure the pain.

I knew he could respond to me though so I said harshly, "Look at me Sasuke!" Okay so maybe I didn't know for certain if he could respond to me or not. But I did know one thing for certain...if he didn't look though he would probably die.

A moment or two passed before he winced in pain as he turned his head and looked at me. Naruto gasped. He was probably surprised that I had gotten a reaction out of the nearly dead Uchiha.

"Sakura." My name came out slurred and barely distinguishable but I understood him. Every word that came out of his mouth had always been crystal clear to me.

"I am going to heal you but I need you to try and not fight me. That will only make this more difficult."

"Lemme die." My heart ached at his words but I couldn't help but understand. He had been like this for quite some time. I would want to die too.

"Sasuke!" Naruto's anguished voice called out.

"Is this an Uchiha laying before me? Giving up so easily? Have you nothing to live for Sasuke? Nothing worth fighting for?" I asked.

"I dunno.” He slurred. “Do I?" A pain shot through my heart and my eyes closed briefly. When I opened them determination surged through my veins.

"Fight with me and you will see."

"Hn." A smile crept onto my face at that familiar sound. I immediately started to heal him. I knew he wanted to fight me but he struggled not to. It let me know that I still had a chance to save him.

The door flung open. The imposing figure of my master stood in the doorway. "Sakura, what are you doing?" She demanded.

"I'm healing him." I replied.

"You can't heal someone if you don't know what the injury is." Tsunade said as if she were arguing with someone who was insane. To a degree I probably was but I knew what I was doing.

"I suppose it's a good thing that I know what the injury is." They both looked at me sharply.

"And what is wrong with him Sakura?" She almost too calmly. If I hadn't been so focused on saving Sasuke's life I probably would've been afraid.

"His chakra is attacking him. You've been too busy looking for some problem with his organs when it was his chakra that has been the problem."

Tsunade argued back. "There is nothing wrong with his chakra. I checked that."

I sighed irritated because she was breaking my concentration. "Nothing that you could see anyway. There are subtle differences to it."

"How would you know?" She asked curiously some of the ire in her voice replaced by curiosity.

"I have carried his chakra in my body before. I know what it should be like." I said not giving a full explanation. That explanation though was enough to take her off guard. She knew what that meant. "Please leave. You're breaking my concentration." She stood there for a moment watching me then quietly left the room while I tended to the man that had stolen my heart again.

* * *

_Flashback_

_Dear Kakashi, Date: 1 yr. 6 mo. Post departure._

_Itachi has sent members of the Akatsuki to 'watch over me'. Is he worried about? I'm a strong and capable kunoichi. I can take care of myself! Those guys creep me out. Well, only one of them. Kisame. I believe you've met him before. You know, big guy, blue skin, scary as hell. I think he's still holding a grudge because I entrapped him in the earth this one time. It wasn't my fault he was dumb enough to get caught! He licks his lips when he's in the room with me. I think he wants to eat me._

_Deidara, he's this freaky artist guy. He reminds me of someone. I can't quite place who yet. Anyway, he's actually a good conversationalist. Nevertheless, I just want them gone. They're eating all my food. What is it with men and big appetites? Should I feel this comfortable with criminals? I don't know. I don't think this was what you meant by finding myself. I'm going to talk to Itachi about this._

_Searching for a way to escape the Akatsuki,_

_Sakura_

_I looked at the letter that I had just written. There had to be a way to get rid of Itachi's insane associates. I was so lost in thought that I didn't feel the presence of anyone in the room with me. Suddenly, I heard a voice whisper in my ear._

" _It's payback time girly." Darkness engulfed me. When I came to, I was hog tied to a stick and hanging over a roasting fire. Sweat poured off my body by the gallons._

" _Kisame! Let me go." I struggled weakly against the bonds that held me but found that I was almost completely empty on chakra. Probably because of the wicked cool sword he carried around._

" _I don't think so. The way I see it we've got a score to settle."_

" _Itachi, will kill you."_

" _Only if he finds out I'm the one that killed you. And since he won't..." He let the thought trail off. I came close to screaming I felt so weak and defenseless. After all this time I was still someone's prey. I turned my head searching for Deidara but he was no where to be found. "He's gone." He said reading my mind. "Got called off on a mission." He then began to chuckle at my plight._

_There was no one to save me this time. No, Sasuke to suddenly wake up and attempt to kill everyone that hurt me. No Naruto to save me from a deranged monster bent of killing to prove his existence. No Kakashi to throw himself between me and danger. There was only me in a do or die situation and I wasn't ready to die yet. Especially not like this. This was too humiliating a death for a ninja to undertake. I needed to focus and clear my mind. It was hard though seeming as though I was being cooked. I could break free of the bonds but I would have nothing left to fight him with if I did that. I'd end up right back where I was. I let out an angry, frustrated growl then remembered that I was almost out of chakra but he had plenty. That was all I needed. I activated my kekkai genkai and began to drain him of his chakra. He wasn't even aware of what was happening at first. I took advantage of that. I was actually glad he had almost completely drained me dry. That meant that I could contain a significant portion of his chakra._

_He was panting slightly looking around as if an enemy were attacking him. "Something's wrong." He said standing up. His eyes roamed over the area searching for the enemy that was right before him. When I could take no more of the heat eating at my skin I broke free of my bonds quickly and stood before him._

" _I am what's wrong." I said throwing a chakra charged fist at him. He went flying backwards and I followed him with grim determination then proceeded to beat him senseless._

_I looked in his eyes and saw fear danced in them. I smiled coldly at him. "You are alive because I do not think that Itachi would be pleased if I killed you. So leave you with one option and if I were you I'd take it before I change my mind and decide that Itachi's wrath is worth it. Leave this place and don't come back."_

_He stood up cautiously backing away as if I'd kill him as soon as he turned his back. It was a thought—a good thought--but I wasn't going to do it._

_Itachi returned two weeks later. Arms slipped around my waist and pulled me back into strong arms._

" _Sakura." He whispered in my ear. I shivered in delight but pulled out of his arms and turned around. It was then that I realized that he was not alone. I glanced at Kisame who happened to be twitching in pain on my floor. I looked at him dispassionately. If there had been a stick nearby I would have poked him with it._

_Itachi immediately activated his Sharingan looking for the enemy. It didn't take him long to focus those crimson orbs on me. "Sakura, you're killing him." He said flatly._

_And so I was. My kekkai genkai had activated on it's own again. "Sakura, stop it." Itachi ordered._

" _Why should I? That bastard tried to kill me."_

" _What are you talking about?"_

" _You sent him here and he tried to kill me." I said focusing on him and not the body writhing on the floor. Kisame let out a scream of agony._

" _Why did you not mention this?" He said just as angry as I was. Kisame's screams grew louder._

" _I can take care of myself Itachi. I didn't think it was necessary to inform you of every detail that went on in my life."_

_He glared at me momentarily. Then changed the subject. "What are you cooking?"_

" _Nothing. You're taking me out." The glare returned. "Don't look at me like that Itachi Uchiha. You owe me one and well you know it."_

" _Fine." He said and walked towards the door I followed him but paused at Kisame's body._

" _There had better not be blood on my floor when I return." I said to the pain ridden S-class criminal._

_I wasn't upset at whatever it was that I had done to Kisame. I really didn't give two shits if he lived or died. Still, I was curious about what it was exactly that I had done to him so I sat through dinner puzzling out what had happened with Kisame. "Sakura." Itachi said breaking me out of my thoughts. "Tell me about you kekkai genkai." I looked at him stunned that he had realized the truth. I hadn't exactly disclosed to him that I had one. Still, it didn't even occur to me to try and lie I just started speaking._

" _It's chakra based. I can absorb the chakra of anyone. If my chakra is diminished then I can replace it with my enemy's. I can also..." I paused. I had not told him about the effects that my kekkai genkai would have on him. I wasn't sure how he would react._

" _Tell me Sakura." His tone booked no room for argument so I continued speaking and decided I would deal with the consequences, if any, later._

" _I can exchange chakra with a lover. It has side effects." His eyes hardened._

" _What side effects?"_

" _Not only do they gain my chakra but they take on temporarily traits of my personality."_

_He was silent. I waited for him to get up and leave but he didn't he just stared into my eyes._

" _That doesn't explain why Kisame's chakra was attacking itself."_

" _What?!"_

" _You heard me, woman." I decided to let the 'woman' thing go this one time. However, it was only because I had been hiding my kekkai genkai from him...and his teammate lay in agony on the floor of my home. I supposed I could forgive the slip just that once._

" _Well, I don't know why it's doing that."_

" _Tell me what happened with you and Kisame."_

_I relayed the information to him and he sat quietly throughout the rest of our meal. I enjoyed the silence content since he hadn't reacted as badly as I thought he would. When he had finished his meal he said._

" _Kisame's condition is obviously your doing. You're going to have to undo it."_

" _Do I have to?" I could tell he wanted to smile but he didn't. One day I was going to get a smile out of that man. Even if it killed me._

" _You do. That is if he's still alive when we've returned." He pushed his plate out the way and folded his hands on the table leaning into it. "Now, my hypothesis is that it was the words that you spoke to Kisame that caused a reaction." At my puzzled look he continued. "You told him to leave and not to return. He disobeyed a direct order you gave while you had your kekkai genkai activated. When he returned your body automatically took him as a threat, therefore attacking him. His chakra attacking him is the end result." I stared at him stunned. This is why they called him a genius._

_Smart guys were hot._

_I bit my lower lip and stared at him as if I was a starving woman and he was my last meal. "If you keep staring at me like that woman I will take you right here on this table."_

_I glanced around the crowded room. I was kinky but I wasn't that kinky. Yet. I lowered my gaze to my food. A small smile playing on my lips._

* * *

I was almost completely drained dry of my chakra. "Naruto." I said. He stood up quickly. "I need you to let me have your chakra." I could see on his face that he was going to agree with no questions. "No, Naruto. Listen to me. You need to know the risks before you agree."

"What risks?"

I looked down at Sasuke's body that was stabilizing but not quickly enough. I gestured to Sasuke's body. "If you give me your chakra, then I will always be able to manipulate it. You could one day be where Sasuke is."

"What are you saying?" Naruto looked at me worried.

I took a deep breath. "That I think my carelessness with my kekkai genkai did this."

"You did this to Sasuke." I nodded. "Intentionally?"

"You know I could never hurt him on purpose."

Naruto extended an arm to me without a second thought. "Take it."

"Naruto, are you sure?"

Blue eyes stared at me. "I trust you Sakura." Tears sprang forth but didn't fall, instead I took his hand and squeezed it tight. "Now save Sasuke."

The chakra I received form Naruto's chakra was almost addictive. It was like feeling ambrosia flow through my body. I had never felt anything so powerful. I didn't even think he knew just how powerful he was. I shook my head and began pouring that chakra out of me and into Sasuke. Healing him completely. When he was stabilized I turned to Naruto with a triumphant smile.

"Naruto, we did it."

"I knew you could."

I walked over to the chair in the room and collapsed into it.

Dimly, I heard Naruto calling my name but I was just too tired to respond.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha opened his eyes a day later.

"Sakura!" He said sitting up abruptly. He looked around the room for the woman but found himself alone. He swung his feet to the floor and stood up only to realize that he had on no clothes. He looked around the room he was in and wondered where he was.

The last thing he remembered was searching for Sakura.


	26. Immune to Uchiha Irritation

Morning arrived and I was surprised to find that Naruto had carried me to his home the previous night. When I woke up I yelled at him for not having me checked out by one of the nurses before he carted me out of the hospital. He was properly contrite so I didn't beat him up...too much.

I made my way to the hospital soon after to check on Sasuke. I walked into his room to find him awake. The moment I entered the room our eyes locked and he opened his arms. I ran to him and threw myself into them as tears filled my eyes.

No, seriously that didn't happen. Sorry, but my days of running to Sasuke Uchiha were over. In actuality he had just slipped into the covers when I came in. I walked closer to his bed.

"So, you're awake." I stated scrutinizing him for any further problems.

"Where am I?" He asked me groggily.

"You're home."

"As in Konoha?" I nodded and he frowned. "I don't remember coming here."

It was my turn to frown. I didn't like the sound of that. Had I missed something when I was healing him? Something potentially fatal? "What is the last thing you remember?" He hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Searching for you."

My heart paused in it's beating. "Why?"

He didn't reply and I found myself angry although I shouldn't have been. I rolled my eyes and let my chakra search him for any injuries I may have missed in my exhaustion. I found none in his torso so I moved to his head trying to figure out why some of his memories were gone. I quickly found the problem and healed him. When I finished I stepped back.

"You should rest. You've had a rough couple of months. I healed the major damage but you still shouldn't be moving around much. It will actually be a while before you can do much moving."

He stared at me with an intensity that I had never seen from him before. It made heat flow through my body remembering us together.

"I remember."

"Remember what?" I asked a little breathlessly.

"Why I was searching for you."

And here I thought he was just being his normal vague self.

* * *

_Flashback_

_The wind was howling fiercely outside as he lay in the bed of a cheap inn. It blew so hard the windows shuddered with the force of it. Another false lead on the whereabouts of his brother yet he couldn't find it in himself to be frustrated. His mind was constantly wandering back to her. She didn't smile much anymore and her eyes were filled with something familiar. He lay there trying to put his finger on it. It wasn't long before it came to him. Pain. Her eyes were filled with so much pain they mirrored his own._

_Two months had passed since he had left Sakura behind. Two long months of regret. Sasuke Uchiha did not regret...and yet it seemed that he did. He felt this pain in his chest that he couldn't understand. He only knew that it intensified when he thought of her. Their last conversation replayed in his head._

"You can walk out of here in an angry huff because I don't understand your pain and that's fine. You can go fulfill your desire for revenge and that's fine. Don't expect me to wait for you though because I have needs Sasuke. There are plenty of men out there willing to meet them if you won't."

_Plenty of men out there._

_Plenty._

_Anger clouded his vision. No. Sakura belonged with him and no other. He, he loved her._

_His eyes became round at the realization. He knew he loved her but now he knew…_

_He loved her more than anything._

_He loved her more than he loved breathing._

_But more than all that...he loved her more than revenge._

_He sat and brooded over his realization and decided it was time to let go of the past and embrace his future._

_Sakura._

_He had to see her. Now. Yesterday. Two months ago._

_So, it was that day that Sasuke set off to find Sakura. To tell her that he was wrong. To claim her as his own._

_He slipped into her apartment that was engulfed in darkness and made his way into her bedroom. He knew then that she had to have been serious about him not returning because she always left a small light burning for him. This was not going to be an easy task._

_The silhouette of her still form greeted him. "Sakura." He said softly approaching her bed. He lowered his body down onto the bed and reached out and touched her hair. Just then moonlight spilled into the room and onto her face. His hand froze at what he saw._

_A shrill scream filled the air._

" _What is it with beautiful men breaking in here?!" She screeched and threw her pillow at him, then her vase. At that point Sasuke thought it would be a good idea if he just left._

_Thus, began his search for Sakura. Had she left the village again? Was she that desperate to escape home? He began to covertly search Naruto's apartment. Surely, he had to know something about her sudden disappearance. If Naruto didn't know then he doubted if anyone did. It didn't take long for him to realize that she had been allowed to leave the village. He came across one of the letters that Naruto had left laying about explaining why she was leaving in the first place. He frowned as he read the letter. He had no idea that she was hurting as much as she was. Sure she had left home once before but she came come with him and that made it okay. Guilt began to gnaw at him. He couldn't help but feel responsible for Sakura. Somewhere along the way he had made her his responsibility, as long as she wasn't interfering with his revenge, that is._

_It took him a while, over a year really, but he did find her. She wasn't a hard woman to track down with her distinctive hair color. She was in the marketplace of a little village when he found her._

_She had cut her hair shorter than it already was. He didn't care for it but he had to admit that it fit her. He watched her as she stood at a fruit stand haggling with an old woman over prices. He suddenly felt a pain in his chest that almost made him fall to his knees. He shook it off and started to approach her but suddenly she wasn't alone. He watched as a familiar figure approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist. She didn't look the least bit surprised at the intrusion. Instead she turned her head and looked over her shoulder and greeted him with a warm smile. It was ironic really with all his trying to find his brother, he was right here with his woman. She said something to him that he couldn't hear and he released her turning her around and sealed his lips against hers._

_The pain in his chest intensified so much that he momentarily couldn't see. His brother pulled away from her and began to lead her away. He turned suddenly and looked him directly in the eye. Sharingan activated. A threat shone in his eyes. He took another step closer but found that the closer he moved to her the more the pain intensified. "Sakura." He thought he yelled but it fell on deaf ears. He cursed Itachi silently. This had to be his doing. He was trying to keep him away from her. He made an attempt to follow but he could not._

_The pain._

_It was overwhelming._

_It was too much._

_So he left, he didn't know where he was headed but he eventually found himself at the gates of Konoha. He noticed that all movement stopped within the village when eyes started to fall upon him._

_He couldn't move another step. The pain was too intense even for him. His vision started to grow dim. Sasuke fell to his knees his head bowed his body hurting but his heart hurting more._

_The last thing that he was heard to say was something about cherry blossoms and weasels._

* * *

"I was searching for you because I realized, that you were right. Revenge was not going to make me happy. The one thing that did, I left behind."

I bit my bottom lip. Was he talking about me? I was actually a little afraid to hope.

"So you're home for good?"

"If that is what you want."

I looked at him. A part of me wanted to scream and jump for joy. He had come home. He had come home for _me_. In the end Sasuke Uchiha had chosen Sakura Haruno. But...

Why _wasn't_ I jumping for joy? What was holding me back?

I think it was fear. I was afraid of so much. Getting what you want was supposed to be sweet. Yet my heart was full of dread of what this could mean for me. For us. For Itachi.

"Really, Sasuke?” He didn't break eye contact with me and that let me know that for the moment he seriously believed his words. “How do I know in the end you won't hate me? Your whole life has been dedicated to revenge that you never achieved. All that time wasted. Am I to expect that you have let it all go so easily? If Itachi entered this village right now--"

"Then I would kill him because the only reason why he'd be here is for you." I looked at him stunned. He knew. He knew about Itachi and I. "I told you before that you were mine that you belonged to me and that was a lie. I know that now. The truth is I belong to you." Apparently he wasn't going to make it easy for me. His words made tears spring to my eyes. "And I will do whatever it takes for you to understand that Sakura. Whatever it takes."

"Sasuke, I care about Itachi. I--"

"I don't care. You can feel whatever you want for him as long as you love me. Just love me Sakura." Give in. My heart screamed. Just let go!

"It's not that simple Sasuke."

"Then what do I need to do to simplify things?"

"I love you Sasuke. I've always loved you but you walked out on me a year ago. Hell, you walked out on me twice but Itachi didn't. He's been here for me every step of the way. He's with me when I need him. I can depend on him. I'm not going to let you walk back into my life only to leave again. My heart can't take it Sasuke. I can't do it again."

"I'm not going to leave you Sakura."

"I don't believe you!" I wailed. "Actions speak louder than words Sasuke and your actions have told one hell of a story."

"I have only done what I felt I needed to do. I have _never_ lied to you Sakura."

"I know." Tears started to pour down my cheeks. I hated him for making me cry. For making me feel weak. "I'm afraid that's going to change. Right now all I can think is better the devil I know."

"He's a cold blooded murderer Sakura."

"I know but he's a cold blooded murderer that has a soft spot for a certain pink haired kunoichi."

"And he'll turn on you once that soft spot is gone. Are you honestly telling me you're choosing him over me?"

"No. I'm saying I don't trust you with my heart anymore and maybe I like to live dangerously."

"Then what do I have to do to gain your trust Sakura because I'll be damned before I let you go now."

The door slowly opened. Naruto slipped in and closed the door behind him.

"You guys are kind of loud and since this is a hospital and all-" A bitter smile graced my lips as I realized that Naruto of all people was scolding me on hospital behavior.

"It's okay Naruto." I said. "I was just leaving."

Sasuke began standing up. "Wait Sakura. Don't leave."

"You should probably rest Sasuke. You aren't completely well yet." I said then walked out the door.

* * *

The door closed softly behind her and Sasuke collapsed back onto the bed. Naruto looked at him. "She was so happy when she came back Sasuke. I haven't seen joy like that in her eyes in years. Don't mess with her head."

"Hn."

"I'm serious Sasuke or I'll kill you myself and I don't go back on my word."

* * *

"What are you doing out here?" I wasn't doing much of anything. Just wandering around enjoying the sting of the cold.

I looked at Kakashi. "How did you know where to find me?"

He shrugged. "I had looked everywhere else." I looked around our old training grounds. I don't know what made me go there. Maybe it was because it reminded me of old times. "You doing okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I heard about you and Sasuke."

I pulled my cloak a little tighter around me. Suddenly it got a bit colder. "Yeah, I imagine a lot of people have heard about that."

"Sasuke said he thinks Itachi put some sort of jutsu on him when they crossed paths."

"He didn't."

"Oh? It sounds like something he would do." I nodded agreeing. Itachi very probably viewed Sasuke as a threat—not a physical threat but rather an emotional one.

"I know, but it was me, although it wouldn't surprise me if he knew about it. I certainly didn't."

"You?"

"Yeah, I'll explain some other time." Not really wanting to get into the complexity of my kekkai genkai.

"Still glad to be home?"

"Believe it or not. Yes, I am." And I was. I missed my friends. My family. Being home was a good thing. It was a decision that I could not find it in my heart to regret. Even if coming home had it's problems.

"Sakura."

"Is this where you give me advice Kakashi?"

"Mm. Yes it is. You ready to listen?"

I wasn't but I didn't think that would stop him from giving it."I suppose."

"I want to first start off by saying I do not approve of your relationship with Itachi, however, the bastard must not be all that bad if you see something in him. I don't know if you love him or not, seeming as though you won't answer that question, but if you choose to be with him then I will help you." He paused letting my mind wrap around his words. A small smile touched my lips at his support. "Does he make you happy?"

"He does."

"Sasuke." Kakashi sighed changing the subject back to the object of my affection. "The Hokage is planning on sentencing him once he is released from the hospital."

"I figured as much. I have to talk to her before she does that."

"Really? Why?"

"To tell her that he's suffered enough. She needs to know that it was Konoha's own that put him in that state that he came home in. I pretty much tortured him for almost a year. It doesn't get any worse than that. I think death would have been better than what he endured. I want her to take that into consideration."

"Sakura, I know you don't want to hear this"

"So don't say it." I interjected quickly.

"but I think you should give Sasuke a chance. He would make you happy if you give him a chance."

"Kakashi, it's not that I don't think he could. In fact, I know he could. I'm just not ready to put my heart on the line again for him to trample over."

"I have no intention of trampling over your heart."

I turned at the sound of the voice. Shock covered my features at seeing him barely standing behind me. "Sasuke! What are you doing? You shouldn't be out of bed." I rushed over to him wrapping my arms around him so he could lean on me. "You idiot. Are you trying to delay your recovery?"

"I had to find you." He said as if that excused everything.

"And where did you get these clothes? I deliberately made sure you were naked" Sasuke smirked. "so you wouldn't pull any stunts like this." His legs went out from under him and he would have fallen it I hadn't caught him. "This is exactly what I'm talking about!" I picked him up in my arms bridal style. I heard Kakashi start laughing.

"Sakura, put me down." Sasuke growled.

"Make me. Besides you brought this on yourself. I wouldn't have to do this if you hadn't made me."

"Sakura!"

He said angrily but I ignored him and marched to the hospital with a weakened Uchiha in my arms.

"Sorry, but I'm immune to Uchiha irritation so deal with it."

And the laughter of one Copy Ninja continued to ring in the air.


	27. His Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She didn't care what anyone said. She could ignore the soft spot she had for him.

  
  


Despite all his griping about me carrying him back to the hospital he had actually fallen asleep by the time we made it there. That was probably a good thing for him since the amount of snickers that passed us by increased. He was never going to live the incident down.

I entered his hospital room and lay him in the bed and began removing his shoes. I was glad the covers had been turned down when I entered the room since it made it all the easier to tuck him in. Unable to resist, I lay down beside him and ran my fingers through his hair. He looked so much younger when he was sleeping. Not like the battle worn shinobi that he was, but like an innocent child. My heart ached as it was filled with so much love for him.

I had lost it back there seeing him barely standing in the middle of winter with a look of pure determination on his face. He was barely standing and yet he had come after me.

_Yes, me._

The moment I turned around and saw him it was as if I had been torn in half. I was at war with myself. I wasn't sure either half would win in the end.

I had dozed off without even realizing I was tired. When I had awakened it was to the sweetest pleasure of soft lips kissing mine. I immediately responded by bringing myself closer to the source of the ecstasy.

"I've wanted to do that for so long." He whispered against my lips.

Lazily I opened my eyes and frowned. "What do you think you're doing?"

He smirked and raised a brow as if the answer to that were obvious. And maybe it was...

I immediately removed myself from his embrace, from his bed. I was so not dealing with him right then, even if I realized that my feelings weren't just going to go away.

"I suggest you don't leave this room again Sasuke or I will make sure you're chained to that bed." I gave him a nasty look but he only stared back impassively. I moved towards the door intending to head over to Naruto's. My hand hovered above the door knob when I heard his voice.

"Stay."

I hesitated. I wanted to stay, yet, I knew it wasn't a good idea. I needed to build a wall around my heart to keep him out because invasion for him seemed so easy.

"I'll behave." I turned around and looked at him. He held out his hand to me in invitation. I sighed and turned my back to him. It would be so easy to just give in. Let my heart take over and lead me to him but the heart is treacherous. I should know. It had led me astray before.

"Some other time." I said and opened the door. His reply echoed in my head for quite some time after that.

"I'll hold you to that."

* * *

"Given the information you just gave me I truly don't feel the need to punish him at all."

Crossing my arms over my chest I said. "I wouldn't go that far." Lady Tsunade smirked.

"I thought you'd say something like that. Don't worry. He'll get more than just a slap on the wrist I assure you, but I won't do anything drastic." I nodded satisfied with her decision. "So did you want to resume your responsibilities in the hospital?"

"I do. I'm glad you mentioned it. I'm not used to having some form of activity."

"Good. Head over there now. They're expecting you."

I laughed. I should have expected something like that from her.

* * *

I went through that day without seeing Sasuke once since I left him in his bed the previous night. I wasn't upset about it. I actually needed a little time away from him. His presence was a bit overwhelming. I didn't want to be sucked into my past. I think that was a major obstacle for me. I didn't want to fall apart and become that girl that I once was clinging to him and loving him blindly.

No, I needed to see. They say love is blind but that's not true. Infatuation is blind. Love is all seeing. All knowing. I needed to see the man that Sasuke was and know that I'd be able to accept him. I needed to love him for who he was. I wasn't sure I could do that because the man that he was had hurt me so many times. So much. There _is_ a point of no return. I didn't know if I had reached that point. A large part of me was saying that it would be foolish to continue loving him.

A small part was telling me that it was already too late. Our fates were intertwined. I ignored that small part.

I was walking out the doors of the hospital when I sensed a familiar chakra signature. I turned my angry eyes towards my would-be visitor.

"Why are you out of bed?"

"I'm walking you home."

"I'm a big girl. I don't need you to walk me home. Go back to bed before you pass out."

"I know you don't need me to walk you home yet I'm going to do it anyway."

"Sasuke--"

"Because, even though you may not need my protection. I'll always give it."

"Sasuke--" I said softening a bit.

"Don't argue Sakura. Just walk. That's all. Just walk."

So we walked back to Naruto's in silence. I worried a bit about his weakened state yet I had to admit his presence was comforting. I liked having him with me.

And so it went on like that. Everyday after work he would be waiting for me outside the hospital and he would walk me back to Naruto's place. He never said much. All he offered was his presence and I think that was enough. He never made any romantic overtures. The knot that was ever present in my stomach, also known as dread, whenever he was near began to disappear. I looked forward to our evening stroll.

"Tsunade wants to see me in her office tomorrow." He said one particular day. I looked at the grim look on his face and could tell that the meeting the next day was weighing heavily on his mind.

"Since you're doing so well, she's probably going to tell you what your punishment is."

"Hn."

"I wouldn't worry though. It shouldn't be too serious. I've already spoken to her." He raised a brow at me. I didn't respond to his unasked question.

So finally we stood in front of Naruto's apartment and he just stared at me. "Sakura,"

Sakura looked up in to Sasuke's ebony eyes.

"Yes, Sasuke?"

He took a step closer to me. My breath hitched and my pulse started to race. He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine.

"Goodnight." He whispered softly pulling away from me, leaving me staring at his retreating form.

* * *

"I've been thinking a lot about your punishment. Given the information that Sakura has given me I've decided that you've suffered enough." What was she talking about? He had suffered enough? And what did Sakura have to do with anything?

"What information?"

"But," She went on as if he hadn't spoken. "That doesn't mean you get off scott free." Three ANBU operatives appeared out of nowhere. "Cuff him boys." Tsunade said giving him a feral grin. Sasuke didn't like the look on her face nor did he like the fact that chakra suppressors had just been placed on his wrists. "Get his legs too. Can't have him running away like a pansy."

"What are you planning?" Sasuke asked through his teeth.

"Take him outside." Tsunade said ignoring him once more. One of the guards picked him up and threw him over their shoulder. He then began to struggle furiously albeit belatedly.

"Don't worry Sasuke. It will all be over soon." Tsunade taunted.

* * *

I frowned as I looked down at the chart in my hand. It had Sasuke's name on it. Didn't they just release him from the hospital? What was he doing back so soon? Had he and Naruto already started up their stupid rivalry?

The front of the chart read: _Survey to make sure injuries are not critical. Do not heal._

I opened the door and stepped into the room puzzled by the note. When I raised my eyes to scan the scene before me my jaw dropped open in shock. In front of me sat a broken and bruised Sasuke Uchiha.

"What the hell did you do?" I yelled.

"What did _I_ do? _I_ didn't do anything? It was that crazy Hokage who did this."

I put my hands on my hips disbelieving. "Why would she do this?" I walked over and began surveying his injuries.

"This was my punishment."

I choked back a laugh. Now it all made sense. Tsunade was a bad woman. He got more than a slap on the wrist alright. It was more like two black eyes.

"You think this is funny?" He growled.

I fought to keep my face blank while I continued to check his wounds. I didn't find anything that would kill him so I took a step back all the while thinking that yes, it was funny as hell.

"Well, you have a few bruised ribs. That's the worst of it. Your eyes--" She had given him two black eyes I thought nearly choking. I took a few deep breaths. "have no permanent damage."

"Aren't you going to heal me?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, orders are that you have to heal on your own."

If anything the dark aura that surrounded him grew darker. "When am I being released?"

"Probably tomorrow."

He nodded and lay back against his bed not saying another word. He was doing that whole brooding thing that he had the tendency of falling into. I decided to leave him alone because I didn't want him taking out that barely contained anger on me because I would be sure to give just as good as I got.

* * *

I was off work and I stood just outside the hospital door waiting, until I realized what I was waiting for. I was waiting for Sasuke to show up and walk me home. I shook my head realizing how much I came come to enjoy his company. I loved having him around even if he didn't say much. I wasn't so sure that was a good thing.

My foot shifted. I had every intention of leaving but then I heard him call my name.

"Sakura." I turned and looked at him. He truly did look bad as he hobbled his way over to me. A small part of me was starting to feel bad for him but I didn't try to argue that he should go lay down somewhere. He wouldn't listen stubborn mule that he was.

I gave him a small smile. "Ready to go?" I asked and he nodded making his way to my side. He held out his hand. I looked at it surprised that he just didn't grab my hand. He was leaving the decision to me. Take it or not.

Tentatively I reached out and grabbed the hand that was offered to me.

  
  



	28. Sakura's Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wouldn't let her put it off for any longer. It was time to decide.

  
  


I closed the door behind me as I walked into Naruto's apartment and thereafter pulled off my shoes and left them at the door. I had just pulled a double at the hospital. It was one thing to pull a double and it not be that busy it was quite another for the patients to be never ending. I glanced into the living room to see Sasuke and Naruto watching television. The both looked up as I entered and greeted me. I grunted in response and continued to my room.

I pulled off my clothes and lay in my bed in my bra and panties too tired to move so when my door opened I didn't too much care that I was in a particular state of undress.

"What do you want?" I muttered.

I watched as Sasuke approached my bed and sat down on it. He picked up my feet and put them in his lap then began his tender ministrations on my feet. A moan escaped from my lips. I had no idea that you cold experience a bit of heaven on earth until that moment. He slowly worked his way up my legs releasing all the tension in my body.

"Turn over." He ordered and I did so without complaint. I protested when I felt his weight leave the bed but soon realized it was all for a good cause.

He came back with a bottle of lotion and poured a bit of it's contents into his hand. "I'm going to unhook your bra." He warned. I briefly wondered how far he intended to go with this but I dismissed the thought because I knew he wouldn't take it any farther than what I wanted. He leaned down and unhooked my bra. He climbed back onto the bed and straddled my back. He heard him rub his hands together and begin to work the kinks out of my back.

It was official. This was no heaven on earth. I had died and gone to heaven.

When he was finished my body was a pile of mush. Sasuke lay down at my side and I turned my head to face him. "Thank you." I said.

He didn't reply but just looked into my eyes. He lifted his hand and brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen in my face. "Sakura."

"Yes, Sasuke?"

"I'm going to kiss you."

"Hmm." I replied too relaxed to say or do anything else.

He scooted a little forward and placed his lips against mine softly and first then a little harder eliciting a response. His hand crept around my waist and pulled me closer. My bra shifted a little uncomfortably and I contemplated just pulling it off since he had already unhooked it, but while I was contemplating Sasuke pulled back and solved the problem pulling it off my arms quickly and returning his lips to mine. His hands skimmed the sides of my breasts and I shivered from the contact. I slid my hands under the back of his shirt feeling the fine definition of his muscles.

He pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the side causing me to shiver at the skin to skin contact and found myself trying to get closer to him. It was that particular action that let me know what my intentions were quickly becoming. I pulled away and Sasuke's body followed. I moaned as he began to lightly bite my neck.

"Sasuke." I whispered. His head dipped lower taking my breast into his mouth. My back arched in response and my pulse started to race wildly. I knew if I didn't push him away soon there would be no pushing away and I wasn't ready for this yet. Not with him.

"Sasuke wait." His eyes raised to mine but his mouth never stopped it's teasing. I was going to die. "I can't do this."

He slowly pulled away from me passion still burning in his eyes. He didn't utter a word of complaint. He just lay at my side panting along with me.

"I'm sorry Sasuke. I just can't--"

"I'm not angry Sakura. It's okay."

I stood up and grabbed a large T-shirt and put it on then returned to lay back in the bed. I expected him to get up and leave but he didn't. After a while he slipped in the covers himself and pulled me close and I fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

"I'll catch up with you guys. I'm going to go take a bath." Sasuke raised a brow inquiringly an invitation shining in his eyes. I blushed and turned away. The incident in my bedroom a few days prior still burned vividly in my mind.

"Aw Sakura! You take forever!"

I glanced at my azure eyed companion. Bath time had become a problem for me and my roommate. Yes, I was a sucker for a long, hot bath. It was so totally relaxing. He just didn't understand the importance of the time I spent in there. "I'll be quick." I promised. He looked at me disbelieving and he was right to, since I had just lied through my teeth.

He walked away pouting. Sasuke threw a look at me and followed behind him.

I took advantage of the fact that Naruto was gone and stripped off my clothes as soon as I entered our little home. I had developed a fondness for being in the nude. You didn't get that opportunity much when you had a roommate so that made it a much more precious commodity. I turned on the water and watched as the hot water flowed into the bathtub. I grabbed some strawberry scented bubble bath and added it to the water.

I was considering getting my own place but whenever I broached the idea to Naruto he balked at it. He claimed there was no reason for me to leave. There was plenty of room for the both of us--except when it came to the bathroom anyway.

Sasuke was at my side whenever possible. He never pressured me for more than just friendship except for that one time, and even then it truly wasn't pressure, although I often saw the question in his eyes. I was glad he was giving me time to squelch all doubt in my mind.

Turning off the water I allowed myself to ease into the bathtub sighing as the warm water flowed over my body. I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander to this and that. I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear someone enter the bathroom nor did I sense the presence of another.

A light finger trailed down my arm causing me to snap open my eyes. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was here, in the flesh. I wasn't dreaming.

"Itachi!"

He didn't reply, but rather reached down into the water and grabbed the soap and my towel and began to lather the towel. He leaned down and proceeded to wash my body. This was nothing unusual for us. He had done it often before, it was just that it was generally the prelude to other things. He rinsed the soap off my body and then leaned down and lifted me out into his arms. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around his neck and allowed him to carry me out.

"It's been along time Sakura." He leaned down to press a light kiss to my lips and I allowed it but I didn't put as much effort into it as I usually would. Normally, by now, I'd have him half undressed. He pulled back and looked at me strangely. He sat me on the couch and went to get a towel to dry me off. When he came back his eyes didn't hold a hint of the passion that they did just moments before but rather they looked dull and lifeless.

"Itachi?"

He wrapped the towel around me and then lifted me into his lap. "So, you saved him."

"What? You knew?" He didn't reply. Of course he knew. Itachi knew everything about his brother. "Yes, I did." I answered.

"I should've taken you with me." He said his voice cold and hard.

"Itachi?" I looked at him confused.

"Come with me. Leave this place."

"This is my home, Itachi. My place is here."

"Your place is with me."

"Itachi, you're a member of the Akatsuki. I can't live that life."

"I can get out. I know a way."

I looked at the seriousness on his face and my heart began to pound. "I'd be declared a missing-nin."

"I'll take care of you. No one will ever harm you when you're with me." I didn't doubt him. I had healed his eyes long ago and in the meantime he had become twice as fearsome as before.

His arms tightened around me as if he didn't want to let me go. I thought quietly about his proposal. He was serious about this. It was the second time that he had asked me to leave with him. This time he wasn't going to leave without an answer.

"Itachi, you know I care for you. No, I love you. It's just that-"

"You love Sasuke more and you want to be with him." He finished for me. It wasn't exactly what I was going to say.

"I'm not with Sasuke, Itachi. We're friends."

Itachi stared at me as if he was looking into the deepest part of my heart. There was a part of me that believed he could actually do it. He trailed his finger down my cheek.

"Sakura, say you want me to leave your life and I'll do it. Tell me you want Sasuke and I won't interfere. Just tell me something."

I turned my head away from those piercing eyes and he forced me to turn my head back. "Sakura."

He was forcing me to make a decision. I was wrong for not doing so earlier. I owed him more than that. He had done so much for me just by merely staying at my side. I took a deep breath and finally admitted the truth to him and to myself.

"I love him Itachi. I want him. I can't loose him again." His whole body froze beneath mine. He was silent and he didn't loosen his grip on me. I lay my head on his shoulder even though I was a little scared then. It seemed like we stayed that way forever but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. He eased me off his lap and then stood presenting me with his back.

"I'm not a man who admits defeat with grace. I'm not even a man to let what I want to be taken from me but I will grant you this…boon. Only you. I will leave you to pursue whatever it is that you wish of my brother. Just know this, I will never return to this village and cause you any problems. However, if we should cross paths somewhere else then I will take you and you will be mine, forever. I will die before I let you go then."

My eyes widened in surprise. I couldn't say anything not that he would have allowed me to anyway. He left immediately after his last words. I didn't know if I should have been a little afraid or a bit thrilled at the prospect of an Itachi kidnapping. I had to shrug it off because my decision was made and my heart felt a little lighter.

Sasuke. I thought. I pulled on some clothes and went in search of my two friends. I stopped at training grounds first and noticed that they weren't there. That left the ramen shop.

Sasuke looked up as soon as I entered. He inclined his head briefly acknowledging me. I returned the gesture and walked over to them.

"Move over Naruto. I want to sit between you guys."

Naruto moved over without a word, probably fearing my wrath. I ordered myself a bowl of ramen and glanced at Naruto who was working or probably his fifth or sixth bowl.

"Naruto? Sasuke?" Both glanced at me. "I want you guys to know that there is no one more important to me than you two and Kakashi. I will always pick you guys first. I want to thank you for being there for me when I wasn't at my best, Naruto. You got to see a pretty ugly side of me but you never turned away from me because of it. Sasuke, you came home and I thank God everyday because of it. You've been more than patient with me and I want you to know that it is appreciated." I reached out and grabbed both their hands and squeezed them tight. "I love you guys."

"We love you too Sakura!" Naruto said throwing an arm over my shoulder. "Just don't ever go crazy again. You're scary."

I punched his arm and he just grinned back at me. I turned my head and looked at Sasuke noting the serious look on his face. He had said nothing to my confession. I truly didn't expect him to but it was okay.

  
  


I knew in the end we'd be okay.


	29. Making Things Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People grow and change but who you are as a base person still remains the same.

"Sakura."

I turned my head and watched him slowly approach me with one stand stuffed in his pocket and the other wrapped around a book. A slow smile formed on my lips as I waited for him to catch up. His book snapped shut when he reached my side and he gave me the familiar eye crease.

"How are you?" I normally felt that was such a loaded question, but that particular day I only had a simple answer that was completely true.

"I'm good Kakashi and you?"

"I'm doing well.” And yet it was so obvious that there was something on his mind. So when he said, “come, walk with me," I didn't protest.

I walked at his side unsure of where we were going but just going with the flow since I have wanted to have a private conversation with him for some time now.

"I noticed someone has been in the village recently." I glanced up at him curious as to how exactly he knew that but, it was sort of obvious that he had been keeping an eye on me. I guess I would find it strange if he did not.

"Yes they have."

"And?" He asked curiosity lacing his tone and maybe a little worry.

"And we will not be receiving any more visitors in the Leaf village. Not for me anyway."

Kakashi stared at me. I'm sure if I removed the mask shock would be written all over his face.

"I never thought you'd do it."

"What? Make a decision?" I knew I had been riding the fence for a while but I always intended to choose.

"No, I knew you'd choose. I just thought that you'd pick Itachi over Sasuke."

"Why?"

"Because when he's with you it's like he's a human being."

"He is a human being Kakashi."

"Could have fooled me."

I rolled my eyes and changed the subject before I ended up hitting him.

"Well, technically, I haven't chosen Sasuke yet. Not verbally."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I have not let him know that I want him and only him, and if you tell him I will have your head on a pike. Then I will parade it around the village celebrating my victory."

Kakashi held up his hands not allowing me to go any further. "My lips are sealed." I nodded secure that he would keep his mouth shut or meet with an untimely demise. "So when are you going to tell him?"

"Soon. Kakashi, I wanted to talk to you."

He looked down at me curiously. "About?"

"Us."

Kakashi gave me his patented eye crease. "There is no us Sakura. Not anymore." I let out a sigh of relief. I had to be sure he wasn't harboring any feelings for me. I wasn't sure that I could stand the thought of him pining after me. I knew what that was like and I would do anything to keep him from suffering from a fate like that. Our past would always be there but it wouldn't rule us. I had been worried a little that it would.

"So, things between us are okay?"

He reached out and ruffled my hair. "They're more than okay. We're friends Sakura. You're closer to me than almost anyone."

I smiled at him, happy at his words. I wasn't exactly sure what I would do if I lost Kakashi's friendship. I needed him in my life. Maybe that was selfish, but no one's perfect.

I stepped over to him and gave him a friendly hug. "I'm glad Kakashi." I looked around not sure where we were headed and well aware that we were still walking. "So, where are we headed?"

"Actually, I'm on my way to my lady friend's house. You are free to go." Kakashi said dismissing me.

"Really?" I said curiously. "And who is this lady friend?"

Kakashi chuckled. "Sorry kiddo, but my secrets are my own."

"Kakashi! You can't just leave me in the dark like that! I tell you everything! That is so unfair."

"Life isn't fair Sakura. You of all people should know that by now, besides you'll find out eventually."

"How soon is eventually?" I crossed my arms over my chest pouting.

Kakashi laughed and I basked in his joy.

:::

I was headed home when suddenly I couldn't move. I began to panic slightly when I realized that I had been captured in Shikamaru's Shadow possession jutsu.

"Shika! Let me go."

I was instantly released and he walked up to my side, showing himself. "I thought you might like that for old times sake."

"Shikamaru if I am never captured by your Shadow possession jutsu again it will still be too soon."

Shikamaru let out a little chuckle. "Word around is that you're not as mad as a hatter anymore."

"I was never crazy. You know that."

"Just a sex addict."

"Oh, well, I'm still that."

Shikamaru paused. "I think I could have lived without that little piece of information."

"You shouldn't have brought it up."

Shikamaru's gazed drifted to the sky. "You're right. I shouldn't have."

"So, Shikamaru. I just wanted to thank--"

"Sakura, you're a comrade. I'd do the same for anyone else." He said cutting me off.

"Maybe you would but regardless as to why you did it, you still did and a thank you is an order. So, thank you Shikamaru for taking care of me when I didn't want you to."

He didn't reply but I like to think that he liked me a little more because I thanked him anyway.

* * *

I walked into our apartment looking for Naruto. "Naruto!" He walked out his bedroom with just his pajama bottoms showing his fine chiseled chest. "Aw! Naruto put some clothes on. Are you trying to burn out my retina?"

"With my awesome masculinty? Yes, I am." Naruto said flexing his pecs.

I rolled my eyes. "Just cover yourself. I need to talk to you."

"You can talk to me now and be bathed by my sexiness." My eyes narrowed.

"Naruto, I'll kill you."

"Yeah, you just think you'll forget all about Sasuke when confronted with all this." Naruto ran his hands over his chest. Laughter erupted from deep within me filling the room.

"Go on thinking that, if it helps you sleep at night." Naruto chuckled then left the room and proceeded to get him a shirt.

Naruto had sprouted another dimension to his personality that I could have dealt without ever knowing about. He was a flirt. Well, he was a flirt when I was involved. I think it was because he was confident I wouldn't take him seriously. I came home from work one day and found him shirtless in my bed. I had assumed he was naked because he had arranged the sheets so that one of his legs was exposed. He had one finger on his bottom lip making it pouty. My eyes were large as I surveyed the scene that I had walked in upon. I was speechless until he opened his mouth and started to sing 'Happy Birthday' while rubbing his nipples. I then proceeded to scream and run out the room while his laughter followed behind me.

I had forgotten it was my birthday until that moment. It was a birthday I'd never ever forget.

"So what's going on?" Naruto said joining me in our living room.

"Who is Kakashi's girlfriend?" I asked. He looked at me a bit sheepishly.

"Sorry, Sakura. I promised not to tell." Of course Kakashi would cover all his bases. I shouldn't have expect anything less.

"I'll buy you ramen if you tell me."

"He promised me twice what you'd offer me if I kept my mouth shut."

Damn that Kakashi!

"How about I promise not to kick your ass too bad if you tell me now?"

"Now, Sakura. A promise is a promise and I never go back on-"

"Yeah, yeah. I just need to make sure this chick doesn't hurt him."

"Sakura, you don't have to worry about that."

"I'm supposed to take your word on it?"

"Well, yeah."

"Riiight. So who is she?"

"Sakura. No."

I decided then and there that I didn't like it when Naruto took a firm stance against me. It was beginning to become a bad habit.


	30. To You

  
  


Morning came and I found myself up before sunrise. Today was the day. I quickly dressed and headed over to Sasuke's home. It didn't take me long to reach his place and soon I stood outside his home looking at the regal estate knowing that there was no going back. My decision was made and I didn't want to go back on it anyway. What I wanted was one Sasuke Uchiha...forever.

I didn't bother to knock since he had given me a key. He probably already knew I was here anyway. I certainly knew he was home.

I walked in and looked around quietly searching each room for him. I found him in his office pouring over a scroll. I watched him not saying anything. His face was intense as he studied the document before him. His dark hair fell forward covering his face slightly. I liked looking at him like this. It made him seem studious. I always knew he was an intelligent man. It was one of the things that drew me to him.

He raised his dark eyes to gaze upon where I was leaning in the door frame.

"Hello there." I said smiling slightly. He beckoned for me to come closer which I did. I walked over and sat on his desk.

"And why am I being graced with your beauty so early in the morning?"

I smiled at his flattery. "Don't try to sweet talk me Uchiha. It doesn't suit you." He leaned back in his chair and smirked. "I came here because I need to talk to you."

"About?" He folded his arms across his chest and looked at me suspiciously.

"Me. You. Us."

He froze. "Sakura--"

"No, Sasuke I need you to be quiet and listen to me." I slid off his desk and began to pace in front of him. "Has anyone told you about my kekkai genkai?"

"What?" The disbelief shone brilliantly on his face. I wasn't offended since it kind of did come out of the blue.

"I'll take that as a no.” I sighed. I had been hoping that someone would have given him a little information on it to make this easier on me, but it seemed that people still didn't trust him. I couldn't even cast stones at them because it took me a while to trust him again as well. “My kekkai genkai involves chakra control. When activated I can control the chakra of my opponent. I can even make their chakra my own...I can make a person's chakra attack them." He frowned. "Before I could control it several people suffered from my kekkai genkai. Sasuke, you were one of them."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were in the hospital because I unknowingly attacked you." I confessed. The fact that he didn't know that I had unwittingly attacked him had been bothering me. I didn't like the fact that he had come pretty close to dying because of my lack of control. If he had actually died I wasn't sure that I would have survived it.

He said nothing he just looked at me. I couldn't read the expression on his face. It was one that I had never seen before. At that moment I thought that he wouldn't grant me his forgiveness and would hold this against me. I had no idea how he would accept my news. I just knew this was something he had to know before we could go any further.

"Who knows about this?" He asked devoid of emotion.

"You, Naruto, Kakashi, and Lady Tsunade."

"And Itachi?"

"Yes, Itachi knows as well." We continued to sit in silence that was becoming decidedly uncomfortable.

"I came for you, you know."

"What?" Startled I looked at him wondering what he could possibly mean. I sat back on top of his desk waiting for him to explain. It didn't take him long to give me the details.

"It took me two months to realize that you were more important to me than anything so I searched for you and couldn't find you. I left everything behind and I continued my search because I had to find you in order to be…complete, and I found you."

"I knew you had to have come across me at some point. There's no way that I could have attacked you if you weren't in my general vicinity."

"You were with him."

Which towards the end was the case more often that not.

"Itachi was with me often." It was something that he obviously didn't want to talk about. My affection for his brother had not dwindled. I still didn't want him to hunt Itachi down and kill him because the whole situation didn't sit well with me. Itachi was a good man deep down. He may be a crazy one, but he was still good. But that was something Sasuke didn't want to talk about.

"Why did you tell me this? About your kekkai genkai?"

"Because I felt you had the right to know. Especially after I tell you what I have to say next."

"You have chosen."

"I have." I confirmed.

"You picked him." I scowled. He was so pessimistic. How two pessimists were going to make it in a relationship I had no idea, but I was willing to try.

"No, you idiot. I want you." I said softly realizing that he had completely ignored my earlier confession as if it were inconsequential..

"Why?" He was truly dumfounded. I didn't know why. My heart had always belonged to him. It always would because he was mine, even if it took him forever to realize it. Sasuke Uchiha was the property of Sakura Haruno and vice versa.

"Because Sasuke, in the end all roads lead to you." I paused for a moment then continued speaking. "Sasuke, you're not angry? About my kekkai genkai?"

"Why would I be angry?"

"Because I nearly killed you."

"Well, it's not like I haven't nearly killed you before. I imagine in the future it will probably happen more often."

He was probably right. There was no way I was going to let him walk all over me and that was bound to cause all sorts of problems. It didn't bother me though because we were made of strong stuff and we would overcome all obstacles thrown our way. We sat in a companionable silence for a while until he reached across the desk and pulled me towards him. Papers went flying everywhere but I didn't care because I was in his arms finally and for good.

"Sakura." He whispered against my neck as he placed sweet kisses along it. His lips made a trail leading to my pliant lips that were waiting expectantly for him to seal our unspoken promise with a kiss. He didn't disappoint me. His lips touched mine softly at first, then more demanding. My body began to quiver with longing. I wanted this at this moment. "Not here." Sasuke said pulling away from me.

"It doesn't matter Sasuke." I said reaching for him wanting him right then.

"It _does_ matter." He said and sat me on my feet. I wanted to roll my eyes but the naked fervor in his eyes quelled all irritation and filled me with nervous glee. I smiled at him mischievously.

"Fine, then. I'll race you to the bedroom." I dashed off with him close on my heels. It didn't take a genius to realize he was letting me win. We weren't even going full speed. The chase excited me more than I was willing to admit. I'm pretty sure it was the same for him. I burst through his bedroom door and Sasuke picked me up in his arms and tossed me onto the bed. Delighted laughter escaped from my throat.

Sasuke's body soon covered mine pulling my sweater over my head and tossing it to the side. He pulled back and looked at my exposed skin lightly running a finger over it. I shivered at his touch, arching my back in order to receive more. His mouth soon replaced his finger placing kisses all over my stomach. One of his fingers slipped into the belt loop on my pants tugging at them restlessly. I quickly unbuttoned them, allowing him to slide my pants off my body feeling the cool air caress my skin only to be taken away by his warmth.

"Sakura?" He said his lips now against my ear, his voicing rumbling making my body tighten more with desire.

"Yes, Sasuke?"

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely." I replied allowing my hands to slide under his shirt and up his back. He needed no further encouragement. He was soon fully undressed and fully ready to claim my body with his own. He reached to unclasp my black lacy bra but I beat him to it, exposing my pert breasts to his greedy eyes. He leaned down and took one nipple in his mouth sucking on it hungrily tearing a ragged cry of pure desire from my lips. His hands roamed to the junction between my thighs pushing my panties to the side and slipping a finger into my moist warmth. His finger moving slowly at first causing me to buck my hips encouraging him to move faster but he would not oblige me. He teased me with his slow but steady pace building a fire that was turning into a blazing inferno.

"Sasuke!" I cried out. "Please!"

It was as if I had uttered the magic word. My panties were gone, lost in the haze of crazed desire. I leaned up and placed a kiss on Sasuke's chest. I felt him shudder from the contact so I did it again.

"Sakura, if you don't stop I'm going to lose control."

At his words I replied. "Then go crazy." I flipped him so that I was a astride him but he was having none of that. He flipped me back over taking control once more.

"Not this time Sakura. Tonight you're going to discover that the Uchiha's are geniuses in every aspect of our lives."

And he did.

* * *

I lay in his arms dozing, thoroughly exhausted from the day's activities.

"Sasuke?" I whispered dreamily. He didn't answer but I knew he was awake and listening. "I love you." In reply his arms tightened around me and I knew that he loved me too and he always would. I would always be addicted to Sasuke Uchiha. I would never get enough of his love.

* * *

The next morning when we had awakened Sasuke asked me a question that I pitched a fit about. And no, it wasn't 'will you marry me?'.

It was, "Did you know that Kakashi got engaged?" I was going to kill a certain copy ninja.

  
  


_Fin_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is an alternate ending coming soonish. Please read the note at the end of that chapter. Thnx for the reads, reviews and kudos.


	31. How Do I Love Thee?  Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had no choice but to leave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The alternate ending takes place during the 'Dear You' chapter and goes from there. None of the other chapters after that happened in this version.

 

Laughter erupted from my throat as Itachi's arms pinned me to the bed. I wiggled under his strong grip silently loving the fact that he wouldn't move an inch."Let me go, Itachi."

"When I'm ready." He replied. His body was pressed against mine. His body was solid as rocks and felt utterly delicious.

"Itachi!" I bucked my hips trying to throw him off me. It was a halfhearted attempt that I could tell amused him. It didn't show on his face but I knew because well, Itachi had different phases of serious that could be seen in his eyes. I was currently looking in his amused-serious eyes. I turned my head at the poof that I heard immediately putting us both on alert. I relaxed when I realized that it was probably a reply from the letter that I had sent to Lady Tsunade. I was excited because I loved every letter that I received from the people closest to me. I tried to reach for the letter but I realized that Itachi still held me captive and it seemed as if he had no intention of letting go anytime soon.

"Itachi, I want to read my letter."

"We're busy. You can read it later." I didn't want to read it later. I wanted to read it right then. I broke into a full fledged pout, but he leaned down to bring his lips to mine anyway. I quickly tucked my lips into my mouth so he couldn't kiss me. "You're being childish."

I quickly stuck my tongue out then hid my lips once more. Itachi grunted disgruntled and rolled off me. I smiled at his acquiesce and reached for the letter.

**Dear Sakura,**

**You seem so happy now that you are gone. I'm just writing to let you know I'm lifting the five year time limit that I have set upon you. Come home whenever you wish. If you wish to at all.**

**By the way, You have to train to be able to contain great amounts of chakra. If you try to do it suddenly, with no training, then most assuredly you will die. Accustom yourself to holding a little at a time and build up from there.**

**Your proud teacher,**

**Tsunade**

I frowned once I reached the end of the letter. Itachi, sensing my mood shift immediately began to question me.

"What is it?"

"Lady Tsunade just sent me a letter saying that I don't have to return to the village if I don't want to."

Itachi's whole body stiffened but in my puzzlement I didn't notice it. "Why does this bother you?"

"It just doesn't seem right. She never wanted me to leave in the first place. I just can't believe that she would not demand that I come home."

"Do you want to go home?" His tone was careful and I knew that to him my answer was very important.

I hesitated. Did I? I loved life on my own and with Itachi. If I went home then there was no way that our relationship would ever be like this again. I wasn't sure if he was something that I was willing to give up, yet I loved Kohona. I loved Naruto and Kakashi. How could I go without not seeing them again? Because if I returned I would be returning to stay. There was no way they'd let me leave again.

"I don't know. I just know that something is not right about this letter. Something is going on at home that they don't want me to know about."

"Sakura, if it were something serious don't you think she'd ask you to come home?"

"Maybe. Yes, she would."

Itachi pulled me into his arms. "Then don't worry about." Looking into his eyes, I found right at that moment I couldn't worry.

  
  


:::

* * *

**Dear Sakura,**

**Don't rush home on our account. Be happy. We love you.**

**Naruto**

"Now I know something is going on!" Itachi looked up from the book he had been reading. "It's time for me to go home." I continued.

"To Kohona?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I just received this letter from Naruto telling me not to hurry home. That is _so_ not like Naruto. Something is going on there and I need to find out what it is."

"Why don't you just write a letter and ask?"

"Psh! Like they'd answer truthfully."

Itachi closed his book and looked at me. "Sakura," He faltered momentarily which should have been a warning to me. Itachi never faltered. "I don't want you to go back."

I looked at him startled. I sort of knew he was happy together with me, but I never expected him to stop me. I said nothing about his business with Akatsuki and he said nothing about Konoha because we both knew that was the only way that we could work. "Why?"

"I know what they are hiding from you. If you go back then this will be over for us."

"Don't be silly. It's you and me. You know that."

"Do I? Is there nothing that can change that?"

Sasuke, my brain immediately thought. Sasuke was the only thing that could remotely change my mind about Itachi. My eyes met Itachi's immediately and saw the truth in them. "Sasuke went home. Didn't he?" He didn't answer and I took this as confirmation. "Why would they hide his return from me?" I knew why Itachi would. But why would my friends do such a thing?

He didn't reply to my question and this time I started to become nervous. He wasn't telling me anything either that had to mean something bad. Something really bad.

"Tell me what's going on Itachi."

"He's dying." He said it calmly with no sort of inflection in his voice while my heart plunged into my stomach. No, it couldn't be true. Not Sasuke. Despair bubbled up within my heart.

"I have to go. I have to leave now." I jumped up frantic, grabbing things to take with me completely forgetting Itachi's presence until I felt his arms on my shoulders shaking me slightly.

"This is why I didn't tell you. What happened to 'it's me and you'?" My eyes focused on him bringing me back down to earth. "You're never going to let go of your past are you? I've been wasting my time haven't I?"

Some unknown emotion covered his face and struck a cord deep within me. "Itachi." I said softly raising my hand to run my fingers through his unbound hair. "Itachi, I have to go. If I can save him I have to do it. I can't let him die. You know I care about him. You know I love him and I know you love him too in your way. You don't want him dead, not like this anyway. If I can save him then I have to. Can't you understand that?"

"If you go back then it will be over between us." I could have taken that as a ultimatum but I knew it wasn't the case. He was just stating the facts as he knew them. Going back to Konoha would put a halt on our budding relationship if it didn't kill it. "Is that what you want?"

"Beyond keeping Sasuke alive I don't know what I want Itachi. Let me do one thing at a time."

Not another word did he utter as he presented me with his back and left me alone. I didn't like that too much. I would be leaving soon and I wanted him with me. I wasn't exactly sure what that meant.

:::

* * *

I looked at the small bag I had packed for my journey. It was almost time for me to leave and I had not seen a trace of Itachi. My heart was heavy in my chest. I had hoped to see him before I left but I guessed it was not to be. He was angry with me and I hated for us to leave things the way they were but it looked as if I had no other choice.

I took a last look around my home. The home that for the last few months I shared with Itachi and pain spread through my chest and tears blurred my eyes. I quickly picked up my bag and stepped outside and dashed my tears away.

  
  


A breeze hit me and I shivered from the cold before taking a single step forward and then noticed I wasn't alone.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?"

My heart reacted before my mind could as I threw myself into his arms. My legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck.

"I thought you had left." I said with my face buried in his throat. "I thought I wasn't going to see you again." Itachi's arms wrapped around my waist holding me tight against him.

"I wouldn't leave you for good without saying goodbye." He paused then said, "Goodbye, Sakura."

It took a minute for my mind to register to what he was saying when it did my arms clung to him tighter. "Itachi, I don't want us to be over."

He sat me down on my feet which was no easy feat.

“Go, heal Sasuke. We'll discuss us afterward." I realized then that he wasn't expecting me to come back. He was saying his goodbyes and cutting me out of his heart completely which was something I couldn't allow.

"Itachi Uchiha." He looked at me bored and detached like he used to look at me when we first began this relationship thing. "We have unfinished business and it will be settled. I promise you that."

He briefly inclined his head and I could tell he was just humoring me and then he left.

:::

* * *

So began my journey back to Konoha. It was quiet and uneventful. Winter was rapidly approaching and I was hoping to make it home before then. The snow that would surely come would slow me down and I needed to reach Sasuke's side as soon as possible.

I bit my bottom lip in worry. What had happened? Was he okay? In my distraction I barely dodged the shuriken that was aimed at my head. I jumped out of the way and let my eyes quickly scan the area for the enemy. It didn't take me long to find him because he let out a blood curdling scream.

* * *

"You dare attack the woman of a member of the Akatsuki?"

"I didn't know! I swear! I didn't know!" His eyes pleaded with Death as he stood before him coming to take his soul.

"Ignorance is not bliss." He said, his scarlet eyes swirling dangerously.

The air was suddenly filled with a scream of agony and despair.

* * *

He appeared in front of me shortly after the scream died. "Itachi, what did you do?"

"You're going to die if I leave you alone." He said completely ignoring my question.

"I can take care of myself!" I crossed my arms across my chest in a huff.

He didn't reply but rather pulled me to his side and headed in the direction of home.

  
  


:::

* * *

"This is as far as I go."

The gates were only a mile or so away. I was safe in Konoha territory, however the man at my side was not.

"So, I guess this is it-"

My statement was cut off by his soft lips on mine. His lips danced lightly over mine. It was such a tease and I was sure he meant it as such. It was a trap to keep me at his side and make me remember the unbridled passion we shared. When he ended the kiss unwittingly I clung to his form. My head spun my head beat madly and I was sure a dopey grin was on my face.

"Stay, with me Sakura. Don't go back. Don't make me let you go." Slowly I shook my head to clear it.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder Itachi."

"No, absence dulls the memory and makes the past seem as a dream. I will not be a distant memory."

"I will not let you stand between me and what I have to do."

" _And I will not let him take what's rightfully mine!"_ It was the first time that he had ever raised his voice that I knew of. It was then that realized that Itachi Uchiha truly loved me. He wanted me at his side always. The realization stunned me I realized that he was offering me everything I wanted. His mind, his body and his soul. He had been trying to voice the sentiment for so long but had probably been unable to and now I understood. He loved me.

Itachi Uchiha was in love me, Sakura Haruno.

"I will not let him die Itachi."

I turned and walked away from him then. I didn't turn back but if he did he would take that as a sign that I was wavering in my decision and he would then snatch my choice out of my hands. I couldn't allow him to do that. That was the first time that I had ever shed tears over him, that day that walked to my village. It was something that I hoped to never do again.

  
  


:::

* * *

I waited until nightfall to enter the village. I quickly performed a genjutsu on the guards and allowed myself to slip through before they could ever blink their eyes. I made my way to the hospital and performed the same act there quickly locating Sasuke's room and entering it.

The deterioration of his body was horrifying. I had seen something similar to it once before and I knew that this only could have been my doing. I immediately set to work on healing him.

I worked myself to complete exhaustion. My chakra was depleted. All my work would unravel unless I was able to gain chakra from someone else quickly. Fortunately the answer to my problem opened the door. I quickly moved knocking out the visitor. It was one of the medics I was unfamiliar with. I picked him up and sat him in a chair and began absorbing his chakra so that I could complete my task which I did swiftly.

I sat down on Sasuke's bed and ran my fingers through his hair. It was then looking at him as he rested that I knew that I was never going to have the kind of relationship with Sasuke that I had with Itachi. Sure, Sasuke and I would probably be a good match but Itachi was my rock. He was dependable. Not to mention that Itachi's sheer presence was intoxicating and I was drunk on him.

Sasuke's eyes opened and tried to focus on me.

"Sakura?"

I didn't answer at first my mind was full of thoughts. He continued to look at me questioningly. I shook myself out of my daze and looked into his eyes.

"I'll always love you Sasuke. You'll always have a place in my heart."

Confusion showed on his weary features. I reached out and touched his head and said softly. "Sleep."

I stole quietly out his room and into the night moving swiftly before I was spotted. A shock of silver caught my eye causing me to turn my head before I left the village. It was Kakashi with a woman. Her long dark hair fluttered in the wind. Kakashi's arm slipped around her waist and pulled her closer to him. It made me smile, seeing him with her, because I knew that he had moved on and he had found happiness somewhere else. It also made me smile at the irony of the ringleader of SAA with Sharingan Kakashi.

* * *

I was still on Konoha land when the sun had arisen but I was far away from the main village. I didn't know where Itachi was so I headed back to my home hoping that he would find me.

It was three months before he showed up. The door swung open and the sight of him left me breathless even though he looked disheveled and angry. I started to stand up and go to him but I decided to wait first to see what he had to say.

"I have been looking for you for quite some time woman." It seemed it was going to be an impossible task to get him to use my name on a regular basis. It no longer bothered me though. I kind of thought of them as endearments now. I was also rather confused. He never seemed to have problems finding me before.

"My name is Sakura." I said cheekily.

"I don't like to be sent on a chase."

"I don't know why you wouldn't look here first."

"You went back so that you could-"

"Heal Sasuke." I finished.

"I thought you were going to stay."

"I don't remember saying that."

"You're not going back? You're staying here?" He fired out his questions rapidly.

"Yes, I'm staying here. You have a problem with that?"

I have the pleasure of saying that I was the first and only person to stun Itachi Uchiha. I was proud of it. It was a story that I planned on telling our children over and over again. Yes, he was momentarily speechless. Momentarily being the key word.

"They let you leave again?"

"They never knew I was there." I waved my hand dismissing the subject. "So I believe I told you that our unfinished business would be settled. Now is a good time."

"There is nothing to settle. You are here that's all that matters."

"Well, in that case I've changed my mind. I'm going back home." I said sarcastically.

He pulled me out of the chair that I had been sitting in, into his arms.

"I do not find that humorous."

I smiled. "I did. Don't worry Itachi. You'll have to kill me in order to get me to leave you and if you try that then I'll tie you to a chair and blindfold you so I can keep you forever."

"That sounded quite psychopathic."

"It's the company I keep." I retorted.

"You know if anyone else said something like that I would have killed them."

"Yes, but I'm special."

"How is that?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

It was then that a desire that had been embedded deeply in my heart was finally fulfilled. A light beamed down from the heavens and shone upon him that glorious day because he smiled. If he was handsome before his smile eclipsed it. His was a terrible beauty. It was the kind that people would kill over, that tore apart nations, that brought tears to your eyes, that could truly spark an addiction.

It was a beauty that I could live without seeing again. He already held my heart in his hands. I couldn't give him my sanity.

He leaned his head over to my ear and spoke softly. "Are you asking me to count the ways?"

I shivered as his voice rumbled in my ears.

"It would be nice." I said trying in vain to get closer to him.

"Mmm. I'll think on it but right now I think I'll show you how I feel about you coming home."

Home. Our home together. I liked the sound of that.

_Fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a prequel to this story that I write under another pen name that I will be putting here. The story may very well be disturbing but a review I got from a dear writer on Addiction years ago sparked the idea that just wouldn't leave me alone. So I'm writing it. The chapters will not be long chapters. In fact, if I hit a 1,000 words I'm doing good. They won't be any longer than that. Expect the first chapter on May 1st. Read it at your own risk.
> 
> There may be a sequel to Addiction. That just depends on how the prequel pans out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
